YO HO YO HO! a "private" life for me!

Sooooo lots of peeps have been asking "why private again?" 

No- nothing bad happened!  I remember at one point a bunch of blogs were going private because of some horrible child predator thing... it's NOTHING like that!

Awhile ago (and I mean A LONG.  LONG.  LONG, ancient time ago)  I was talking with Les about the blog.  I was venting to her about how I missed writing in my usual blunt way.  With the blog being public, and me trying to use it as a photography marketing tool, it didn't seem like a good idea that a client could look at some pictures and then read about my hemorrhoids... ya know?

I'm the type of gal that likes to tell it like it is.  And I felt like with the blog being open to the whole public, I had to sugar coat everything.  Like instead of telling a story about my dog making a bathroom mess all over the house, I can come right out and say there were giant piles of globby poop... of course the poop couldn't be solid- that would be too easy to pick up- she had to have diarrhea...ugh.  (true story.  happened last night)

So anyways, I feel good about being able to "talk" like myself again.

I'm going to get right into things by telling you about my 6 week post partum visit.  I had a few people message me and ask what happened that made me so upset at said appointment.  And (YAY) now that the blog is private, I'll explain it here ;)

Basically, I'm a fat blob right now.  Weight wise, I'm about 15 pounds over what I should be.  I have strictly been breastfeeding and eating alright (occasionally I do eat junk...) but I cannot shed this sticky weight.  UGH.  I've been dying to exercise and was really looking forward to getting the clear to do so, at my 6 week appointment.  I was also scheduled to get an IUD put in.  Because, God bless my beautiful, amazing, miraculous babies, but ummm... no more!  (at least for awhile!) 

Unfortunately, I was a little too active during the first few weeks after having Stella.  Because my flipping uterus and cervix have DROPPED.  Like dropped, dropped.  On top of having a sagging uterus (that's what she called it- I felt like an old lady or something) my stitches were still very much intact.  She said she would try and pick out the external ones, but since the internal ones were in, that meant my body still needed them.  Anyways I got the big "NO" on exercise and the IUD placement. 

Stupid really, to be upset about it.  But it did bum me out. 

Thankfully, I just went in this past Monday and everything looked a lot better.  (well she told me it looked better- I haven't seen any of this- just trusting her opinion ;).

I got the mirena put in and passed out.  Yes.  For real.  How embarrassing. 

This woman, had seen me give birth like a champ- laughing as Stella came out- and she puts an IUD in me and I turn as white as a ghost and black out.  Nice.

I'm so weird.  But it was a strange sensation and I didn't like the smell of the iodine and blood.  An hour later, I was on my way and trying to explain to my mom what took so long, what an IUD is and why I need it.  After explaining 3000 times that I didn't get my tubes tied, I think she finally got it. 

As of today, I'm feeling pretty good.  A little crampy but nothing horrible.  I officially got the clear to exercise and I am starting MONDAY!  YAYYYY!  My mom got me a gym membership at her gym (Powerhouse I think its called?) for my birthday and I am beyond excited to go.  Did I mention that included in my membership I get free childcare, while working out???  Um... heck to the yes.  Don't be surprised if I morph into a size zero... my exercise sessions might start lasting 4 hours ;)

Well... that's it for tonight!

Happy Saturday- thanks for reading and sticking with the whole privacy thing!

Quote of The Day.

***edited to add, I am doing a photo challenge today on another fabulous photo blog.

This, by far, has been the toughest theme -your all time favorite picture-and there are some INCREDIBLE photos in the challenge... so I'm pretty sure I don't have a chance :)  But again, its fun to link up and connect- SO here is my pick for fav. pic.:

For obvious reasons, this photo makes me smile... and it was one of the very first pictures I ever took with my SLR.  :) 

Click the button below to view the other AWESOME photos!

Actually, this was said yesterday, but I promised to share... so here it is:

While getting my cervix examined very ((VERY)) closely yesteday, my OB announced, and I quote,
 "Well, nothing is jumping out at me."

Does anyone find that funny?  Or is it just me....

Ready to Conquer!

I woke up this morning with a new, fresh outlook on life. I'm healthy. Ryan's healthy. My kids (minus Henry's excema which is really only a huge problem if it gets infected) are healthy. Life is good.

Breakfast was a minor success- Maeve ate a few of her eggies but wanted a cookie. I sternly said "no." And then let her pitch her hour long fit. All the while, I spent some time with my little man- trying desperately to ignore the screaming and kicking coming from the kitchen. After an hour (yes- it was really an hour before she calmed down) we took baths, got dressed and I made up the grocery list for the week. I gave Maeve a scheduled snack at ten (cookies were still on her mind but she settled with goldfish). We headed out the door around 11. Besides Henry blowing out his diaper, it was a really nice grocery trip! Tyson ready chicken is on sale this week for a mere 1.99/lb (that's 1.50 LESS the normal price)! I STOCKED UP!

Lunch was another success. Maeve ate a peanut butter & marshmallow fluff sandwich and I ate the remnants. GROSS. Nap time was good. Maeve slept, Henry slept, I slept. Good sleep all around :)

Around 4 we headed to the studio. I wanted to visit with some friends that I hadn't seen in awhile (due to vacations and busy schedules). It was nice to chat with some adults and let them pass around my kid :) Actually Laura, (midwife, Laura :) took Henry and held him for a good 45 minutes or so while I got to practice using my new lens. :) WAHOO!

2 things: 1- I LOVE my new lens. LOVE.IT.
2- I LOVE my midwife. LOVE HER! :)

We talked about putting in an IUD. And I think I'm going to go for it. Henry was a fab surprise and I can't fathom life without him... but I need to NOT be preggo for a couple of years :)





After taking some pics and talking Laura's ear off about the IUD, we headed home and it was up to me... to throw together a quick meal. I had been planning on making bruschetta- and believe it or not, I had never made it before. Thank goodness it was quick. and good. Leslie was over the other day and we were talking food- our obsession with feta cheese to be exact. She had given me her recipe for the brushcetta and it was just delicious :) I decided to fatten ours up a bit though and smothered the entire loaf with mozzarella cheese- because, ya know- feta cheese just wasn't enough... Anywho, it was great. I will definitely make it again... Here's a pic of the cheesy madness:



As for Henry's excema, its already looking better. THANK YOU LORD. After only one day on the steroid cream its less red and blistery-looking. WAHOO! As for his crankiness??? ummm... the jury is still out on that one.


I DO feel like I conquered today. And that makes me want to yell.... HALLELUJAH!!!! :)

8 Weeks Post Partum...

Tomorrow marks EIGHT weeks of Henry's life here on earth. WOW! I have yet to schedule his 2 month appointment... oops. I'm assuming we'll get in sometime this week- I'm anxious to find out why he is fussy 24/7.

On another note- I posted a post partum pic of when I was 2 weeks post partum. Sitting here, quite pudgy and soft, not much has changed. I'm bummed. I have been dieting and nursing for 2 months now- yes, yes I've lost over 40 lbs- but remember about 30 of that was PURE FLUIDS! So really, I've only lost 10 solid pounds. And to get to my goal weight of 120 I still have 15 lbs to go. :( poo. Here's a pic of me this morning. Ignore my triple Z's in the pic.

In one word, YUCK. But here's the thing- in order to maintain my milk supply my midwife told me not to cut calories... okaaaaaayyy- that makes it a little hard to diet! Working out is the next best logical step, but with a newborn who likes to nurse at random times all day long, its hard to get out and do it. Unfortunately we don't live in a climate where I can put the kids in the double stroller and take a walk. For me to exercise I have to pack the kids up, drive to the Y, check them into the jankity daycare and PRAY my name isn't paged to come claim a child down in the nursery. Nope- the Y isn't going to happen. So now I'm thinking of exercise videos. I've heard of some good ones, so I'm willing to try them. Even with THAT I am not sure where the time to do a video will come from- my kids hardly ever nap at the same time and when they do I can pretty much guarantee you the first thought in my mind won't be "GOTTA EXERCISE!" It will probably be more along the lines of "GOTTA LAY DOWN!" sighhhhhh.... I need these extra 15 lbs off bad... what to do, what to do? Talking with my midwife, she said give it a year to get back to normal- focus on nursing, maintaining my supply and life with two kids. So is it selfish for me to want to get these 15 pounds off??? I wish I didn't care so much about the stupid scale- but my GOSH I am sick of my jeans cutting off blood supply to my legs. And I REFUSE to go out and buy size 7 jeans (yes that's what size I am in at the moment). I feel like if I give in and buy the size 7's I will always be in that size. Make sense?
Well, if any of you have some fabulous ideas on how I can get these pesky 15 lbs off, let me know! I am ALL ears! :)

Got MILK???

I DO!

Just in case someone out there doesn't believe me that I am actually a cow disguised as a human, here's a few pics to prove it:




Each bag contains 5-6 oz. of milk. It may not look like a TON- but keep in mind that I am also nursing Henry! I pump out about 20 oz. a day on TOP of nursing... yes, HOLY MILK. We also always keep 3-4 bottles of 5-6 oz. of milk in the refrigerator just in case I need to leave or we get to go out kid-less (rarely happens, but hey- we can dream!)

We Had the Rumble... ;)

Parenting Maeve has seriously kind of hardened me to a lot of things. Which I have to say (and Ryan agrees with this too-) is a good thing. I don't jump at a little fever, nor do I panic when Maeve flies off the couch onto the floor. My motto now is "show me the blood then we'll talk" :) No, of course I am a very involved, concerned mom- the only thing that truly matters to me is the health and well being of my kids- that's it. Where I'm going with all of this, is that I truly was not going to take Henry into the doc for his constipation problem. If this would've been two years ago and Maeve? We would've been in the ER :) Like I said, I've become a lot calmer over the years. However, after spending the majority of last night UP with a fussy baby I figured it might not hurt to give the doc a call and at least ASK what I should do.

I called around 11 or so and asked to speak to a nurse- after telling the nurse what was going on she said he should probably be seen. :( I KNEW it was nothing serious- I really did- but I was becoming a bit desperate for Henry to stop being so uncomfortable and therefore, stop fussing. My mom took Maeve for me and I brought Henry into the doc. We ended up spending the good part of the afternoon (and Maeve's nap time) driving through the blizzard and stuck in the doc office with a bunch of sick kids. The icing on the cake though, was paying thirty bucks to be told to give Henry a glycerin suppository and some prune juice. UGHHHHHH! Off we went to good ol' Walmart to retrieve our pooping supplies.

I decided since I documented Maeve's every hiccup I should document this important day in Henry's life: His first suppository.

Here's the scary sucker- I was a tad intimidated by it- poor Henry had no clue what was about to happen...


The waiting was intense ;)



After about 5 minutes or so, we we're in business.


The damage (I think we went through 4-5 diapers???):


The dude needed a soak in the sink after all that hard work.


Henry relaxing- he deserves it, right? And yes,yes I realize his shirt is a midriff... he's a chunk- what can I say? :)



Not like any of you REALLY want to know this, but his poo wasn't liquidy like it normally is. It was more of the consistency of play-doh. It needed to come out and I'm glad it did. I'm hoping we can get back on track now- with sleep, feedings AND pooping.

We Need a Rumble in the Jungle!!!! (amongst other things)

We are going on day number 6 of no poop for Mr. Henry (yes- you read right- SIX days of no poop). The poor guy is miserable. He keeps turning red and making these horrible straining noises. I thought breastfed babies didn't get constipated??? Normally he's a champion pooper- pooping at every feeding. And then all of a sudden everything just STOPPED. We've tried lots of things: Mylicon (although those are more for gas- and yes, he is very, very gassy...) sugar water (1 oz. water-1 teas. sugar) sticking a thermometer in his rear and I even gave him a half an ounce of watered down apple juice. NOTHING is moving. I haven't called the doc all week because I've heard stories of friends' babies who have gone a week or so without pooping and then its like the great flood once they do finally go. My friend Jessy's son used to poop once a week- on Sunday's if I recall- is that right Jess? :) So I guess I was thinking that's what was going to happen. Apparently not, since tomorrow marks one week of no poo. I'll definitely be calling the doc in the morning. Boo to no poo.

AMONGST OTHER THINGS... today was my 6 week post partum check up- which means Henry is 6 weeks old. Again I ask, where has the time gone??? My mom came over at the crack of dawn to watch Maeve since she was still sleeping (what was I thinking scheduling my appt. for 8?) and I took Henry with me. Laura checked me out and before she even examined "down there" I begged her not to touch any stitch she sees. If you remember, I was unfortunate enough to have 3 of my stitches removed last time around and it was most definitely more painful than getting them put in. She reassured me she wouldn't pull them out as long as they weren't infected looking. PRAISE the LORD they had all dissolved and I was told "it looked really nice." Ummm.. thanks? :) Henry was fussing and being his usual gassy self, so Laura took him out while I got dressed and I could hear the whole office staff "oohing and ahhing" over him. While gathering up my things in the room I actually got teary eyed thinking about how much I was going to miss my weekly visits to the office. I love the nurse Clara, and of course my midwives... Dr. P of course, (even though he can be a jerk sometimes). And I can't say without certain that I will have another baby in Michigan. Therefore, this may have been my last experience with that office and that makes me incredibly sad. I am so comfortable with everyone in there- from the receptionists to the doc. Hmmm... bitter sweet I guess. Never in a million years did I think I'd miss peeing in a cup or stepping on the scale and reaching numbers that should belong to elephants.

That's all for now- if any of you have some great tips on how to loosen up some baby poo PLEEEEEEASE let me know!!!!

Please Tell Me...

*DISCLAIMER!*
Now, before all of you nursing maniacs shoot me- DO KNOW that I AM breastfeeding and am planning on continuing! :)

With that said, I really dislike breastfeeding. Really. I hate wearing those nursing pads- they stink and make it look like I stuff my bra. I am now making a good amount of milk (meaning, Henry is keeping up with it- not overproducing- not under producing) yet, every time I feed him there are a good couple of minutes of milk spraying everywhere and Henry sputtering and choking on it. Also, each nursing session is taking about 30-45 minutes. It's sweet as can be to watch Henry enjoy his milk, but my GOSH, I feel like my life lately has been spent sitting with a boob hanging out. Not ideal. I wish I could be one of those moms who just embraces nursing and wants to nurse for years. Nope- not me. I am on a countdown. I am trying to make it to 6 months- if its going better by then, I MIGHT go a year. Who knows. Anyways, I thought I would vent and get that off of my chest (ooooh no pun intended!)

Tell me the honest truth- do you really LIKE breastfeeding?

Nursing Nightmare!

Actually let me rephrase that- NURSING HELL! Really, I'm not sure why I have such a hard time. I cry to the good Lord all the time about why my body can't just function like a normal lactating mother... This week has been just awful. PLAIN AWFUL. I can't express how much pain I've been in and how hard it is to take care of a newborn and a 2 year old with a 104 degree fever, the chills, aches... all that good stuff.

For those of you who have been lucky enough to dodge mastitis, BE THANKFUL. I would seriously rather go through labor again than deal with this horrible infection one more time. Henry is almost 3 weeks old and I've been running low grade fevers for about two weeks now. Yeah, the low grade fevers aren't fun at all... neither are the chills and that achy flu feeling, but I was getting by. Rewind to Tuesday night- my fever jumped up to 104, my right boob became ROCK HARD and boiling hot to the touch. Just thinking about feeding Henry (or pumping for that matter) made me want to vomit. In fact, one time while I was feeding him in the bath, I started dry heaving from the pain. I got on an antibiotic last night (thank God for Laura!!! I called her up at 8:30 PM and she called a script in to Meijers right away). Today I've kept the fever around 100-101. I am still incredibly achy and dealing with a few blocked ducts in my right breast. And really- if one more person tells me to "hang in there" I might scream. Clearly, they have not had mastitis 500000 times during their few months of breastfeeding (with Maeve I got it so much that I had to alternate between amox. and keflex on a weekly basis because I was building up such an immunity to them from taking the stupid meds all the time). I had high hopes this time around- after all, Henry is SUCH a better nurser. But for some reason my body produces such a load of milk that even a chunka chunk like Henry can't keep up with it all. Therefore I am left with backed up boobs. I'm only supposed to pump BEFORE a feeding (and only for a minute on each side) so I don't drown Henry with the flow of milk that comes out. And get this- with ONLY pumping before a feeding I accumulate about 30 oz of milk a DAY! Yeah.... MILK MILK MILK.

On top of all this, I am being the laziest mother on the face of the planet. My poooooor Maeve. She reads, does puzzles and plays with the stupid dog all day long while I lay on the couch begging Henry to eat. Henry has also invaded our baths. Laura told me to NURSE NURSE NURSE as much as I can in the bath because the hot water will make the milk come out better. It works wonders- it really does- but Maeve isn't happy about the "intruder" during tub time. I've had my mom and "GiGi" (MY grandma) come over and take Maeve to the toy store and to other fun places. But it seriously kills me every time she leaves. I feel like we're drifting farther and farther apart because of my breastfeeding issues. Wednesday we all went out for lunch (yes with me running a high temp and feeling like death)... I ended up having to leave in the middle of it because I didn't think I'd be able to drive myself home if I waited much longer. So my mom kept Maeve- I cried- no wait, SOBBED, through stupid Jackson Crossings as I'm walking back to my car with Henry. I seriously feel like the WORST mother right now!

If you thought this "vent" was over, you're wrong- it continues... yesterday we stayed inside the house all day (pretty much due to the cold- HOLY COW ITS COLD OUTSIDE!)- I noticed Maeve was picking at her diaper a lot. Just pulling at it, itching, that sort of thing. I asked her if she needed a change and she just said "diapers!" I took that as a yes, so I changed her. Come to find out, she wouldn't let me put a diaper back on. As soon as I took her wet diaper off, she started holding herself (down there) and crying saying "ITCHY! ITCHY!" What the heck??? I had horrible bladder infection problems when I was a kid, so my first thought was "OMG she probably has her first bladder infection." So I took a warm wash cloth and put it on her- it helped for a little bit but after 15 minutes or so, she was back to wailing about her "pee pee." Hmmm... I was totally perplexed. THEN the real horrendous part started- Henry started to fuss (feeding time!) and as SOON as I put Maeve down on the couch, she knew I was going to pick Henry up. She clung to me like white on rice! I mean really- I could not get her off of me. AND I felt horrible trying to peel her off- especially if she was sick! My already very, very hot face and head got even hotter as my mind was reeling about how to handle this. Do I pry Maeve off of me and run go grab Henry and try and feed him? Do I comfort my sick kid? Well I thought I'd try to do both... HAHAHA. I had Maeve clinging to my WAIST- my WAIST!!! And I had Henry in my arms- as soon as I sat on the couch and tried to nurse him she did this bear hug sooooo tight I couldn't possibly get Henry on the boob! My last resort was to call my mom... my mom came right over (yeah for moms!- she lives a second away!). SHE took Maeve and dealt with her potty problem and I nursed Henry. Once Henry was all set, I went back to Maeve to try and figure out what was going on. I couldn't think of what the heck it could be- but I didn't want her running around nakie. So I put a pair of undies on her (I had bought them for Christmas but.. they were desperately needed yesterday). AHA! That did the trick- as soon as I put them on her she peed- and she peed a LOT. It turns out she just didn't want to pee in her diaper or the potty. Oh good Lord. What a time for this to flare up. I'm all for potty training but not while I'm sicker than death itself.

I think I will conclude my vent now. There will be no new pictures for awhile- Maeve decided to break my camera. :(

Oh- last thing- I need some advice/help! How do you breastfeeding moms NOT stink like sour milk all the time??? I am literally washing my bras once a day just to keep them from stinking to high heaven. But with all the washing, its totally ruining the bras!!! Also- do you guys wear bras to sleep in? I was told not to because it could be a reason my ducts are clogging so easily- but I'm 100% confident if I don't sleep in a bra, not only will I be washing my bras every day but a load of sheets as well.

I need some help!!!

Leave it to me to wait until the last minute to get a breast pump...

I can't seem to make up my mind- help me out!!!

Here's my stich:
I am a stay-at-home mom (duh) meaning I won't need to pump butt loads of milk because I'll be home all day, everyday with the baby. I had an electrical duo pump of some sort last time around and it gave me some horrible infections because the pump didn't actually PUMP- it more like PULLED... we finally figured out that was why my milk ducts were getting clogged. I've been looking and looking, reading reviews and talking to friends, and it seems like I might just skip on spending the 150 bucks this time around and get a single manual pump. Like I said, I really don't pump enough to justify spending trillions of dollars on a breast pump... but on that same token, they don't make double manual pumps (for obvious reasons!) so if I remember correctly, when I would pump, milk would come out of both boobs- not just the one I was pumping. If I am using a single pump, wouldn't I be wasting an entire boob of milk? (haha that sounds funny :) Also, for anyone who's tried a manual pump, does it kill your hand pumping? I've heard that manual pumps are actually more efficient with getting the milk out... I used to be able to get 8 oz. out of each breast in about 5-10 minutes while nursing Maeve... and I found THAT to be a horrible pain in the butt! So if I am going to have to sit there and squeeze the handle of the manual pump for an hour to get 6 oz. count me out!

I hope someone out there has some advice on this! I HATE breast pumps- I hate spending the money on them & I hate cleaning all the parts... ughhhhhh.

EVICTION NOTICE!!!!

First off, I am really stinking at the whole "1 post/day" thing. Sorry.

SECONDLY, I just had my 38/39 week appt. and I am now dilated to THREE cm!!! And 80% effaced... we talked about the induction a bit. As you all know I was induced with Maeve and it was a horrible, LONG labor. So I am definitely starting to have some reservations about doing it again. I was SO SO SO hoping I could start laboring on my own but it looks like that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Fortunately, my Bishop score (a system that rates how favorable you are for induction) gave me a score of a 7-8 (out of 10). When I was induced with Maeve I was barely at a 3. My midwife really thinks it will be easier this time around- she said my body is totally ready for it, versus last time when it was being forced.

After all was said and done, we set the official date... November 23rd, this baby is being EVICTED!!! Laura (my midwife) had told me last week that Nov. 23rd looked like it would be the day, but we confirmed it with Dr.P and he gave me the official go ahead. I am nervous already! OMG-5 days until baby is here!

As for the details of the rest of my appointment, it was all pretty standard. Baby is estimated to be around 7 lbs (HOOOORAH- not the 8-9 lb. baby that I was originally estimated to have- AND, Laura predicted Maeve's weight to be around 6 & a half lbs.- she came out 6-8. SO I am really hopeful that again, Laura is right on!) My urine is good, BP was a tad high but nothing to worry about... I'm measuring at FORTY weeks... baby's head is so low I think I might sneeze him out (it's really the most bizarre feeling to have the doc push on the baby's head!). Lets see... Oh I got my membranes stripped AGAIN... it was a tad more uncomfy this time around. And I was instructed to walk,walk,walk and to use my breast pump. I guess using your breast pump makes your body release oxytocin- a derivative of pitocin- what they give you to induce labor. Unfortunately, I threw my breast pump out because it got so gross. Guess what we're going to Target for tonight??? :)

I think that about sums up my LAST OB visit. WOW. Now I have 5 LONG days of waiting. In the meantime, this baby better be packing up and headin' south- because he is SOOOOO being evicted!!!! :)

whoops.

dang it... I already messed up my 30 days/30 posts. Oh well... I guess it takes the pressure off. Just to warn you, tonights post is not going to be cheery or meaningful in any way. I'm just DONE. DONE DONE DONE. I feel like I've been in early labor for 4 days now. Contractions- just none regular enough to into L&D about (for example- I'll get them 4-6 minutes apart for an hour, but then the next hour I'll get like TWO), horrible diarrhea (sorry-gross), my back is killing me and every morning when I wake up I get tears in my eyes thinking "HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER DAY LIKE THIS???" I had no clue how hard pregnancy is when you can't just lay around all day and be lazy. FIRS TIME MOMS WHO ARE READING THIS- TAKE NAPS- AS MANY AS YOU CAN!!! Because the 2nd time around, ya don't get 'em!!! Also, my acid reflux IS.KILLING.ME. I don't fall asleep until around midnight or so each night because I simply cannot lay down for about 5-6 hours after we eat. So if we ate at 6, I will be up until midnight- just sitting in bed, with my tailbone and hips going numb... waiting for the acid to settle. It's truly miserable. And its gross as heck.

I saw my midwife tonight at the dance studio (Tuesday nights Maeve and I eat w/ my mom because Ryan is at class... so we meet out at the studio) and we talked a bit about how I was feeling. And then I asked the MUCH anticipated question "Sooo.... I'll be 39 weeks the week of Thanksgiving- Dr. P had mentioned that he would like to think about induction at 39 weeks... Would it be a huge deal if I was induced at say, 38 weeks 5 days???" NOPE not happening. She said by GUIDELINES set at the hospital (???) I have to be 39 weeks on the nose. WTH????????? My friend Amanda who was standing there joked and said "Don't you know those 2 extra days are really important? That's when they grow legs!" Really though- COME ON. Sooo... it looks like I will either be IN the hospital over Thanksgiving or being discharged the day of. I am beyyyoooond BUMMED. My only hope is that I am dilating enough to have my membranes stripped tomorrow and next Monday- and that something (ahhheeem LABOR) comes out of it. I really didn't picture myself IN the hospital over Thanksgiving- I thought- surely they won't care about inducing me a couple of days early. WRONG!!!
And really, if I talk to ONE MORE person who just adores being pregnant I might puke. Yes, pregnancy is a miracle, it CAN be beautiful- I've seen those beautiful preggo women out there, but I am not one of them! My face looks like a 13 year old boy's covered in pizza grease. My stomach looks like Freddy Krueger came at it and GULP... even my thighs are starting to get some stretch marks on them. I'm swollen to the point where I can't wear anything but sandals (and yes, we all know its cold & November here) I do not own ONE shirt (this includes Maternity!!!!) that covers my stomach all the way. I am officially wearing Ryan's shirts... ummm gross? I feel like I have a bowling ball in between my legs... I pee when I sneeze or cough (and not just a little- but enough to where I have to GO HOME and change my underwear). Ahhhhh! I could really go on all night, but I don't want my blog to turn into one giant vent. Sooo... I will end it.
Tomorrow is a big day- if I'm dilated enough, I get my membranes stripped. I am trying SO hard to think positively... and I have a new mantra: POP, GUSH. POP, GUSH. POP, GUSH. Wish me luck!!!

Turning my frown upside down

(see post below as to why I was bummed out today)

I went out for dinner with my mom tonight (Ryan has Tuesday night classes)- so Maeve and I go out to the studio around 5 or so and then we eat w/ my mom during her 2 hour break. Today, my midwife, Laura was out there... she asked how my appt. went today with the doctor and I told her. She said that she would happily strip my membranes at 38 weeks... I can't tell you how big my smile got! I know that its not a FOR SURE thing. But I'd really like to avoid induction so there's this glimmer of hope that at 38 weeks I potentially COULD go into labor. She gave me specific instructions on what to combine with the stripping of the membranes... a long walk...an *intimate* session w/ the husband (haha... I don't think that will happen at 38 weeks). In the meantime I'm chowing down on as much pineapple as I can find (apparently it has something in it that ripens your cervix?) and walking like there's no tomorrow. Hopefully in a couple of weeks my cervix will look GREAT for a membrane strip! :) Any other tips on ripening up that cervix???

8 Hours In...

to the most disgusting thing EVER- the 24 hour urine catch. Really- this is gross. But I thought I'd updated because last night my BP spiked up to 145/82. The bottom number is fine, but the top was getting pretty close to that 150 mark that is dangerous. So I called L&D. My least fave. doctor was on call, Dr.McDonald- YUUUUUUUUUUCK. I can't stand him- he discharged me from the hospital after having Maeve and he was the most arrogant thing ever. It also doesn't help that I taught his girls in gymnastics for a few years and I've seen him outside of a medical setting- its just weird. Anyways I left this long message about how I've been having swelling, blood pressure and headache issues... and how I was starting the 24 hour urine catch and I just wanted to know if a BP of 145/82 warranted a trip into L&D. Believe it or not, I NEVER got a call back- ever. Now, I know I'm not his patient, but as an on-call doctor, I'm his responsibility like it or not. To say the least, I'm not pleased. Thank goodness it wasn't an emergency, huh??

Anyways Ryan took the BP monitor away from me because I was totally losing it- I was taking my BP every few minutes and then it would be a little higher and I'd start panicking. A massive headache also started brewing... so after a huge thing of gatorade, 2 tylenol PM and a mini-breakdown I fell asleep (all the while Ryan was rubbing my back...wonderful:). This morning, I got up and peed in my jug (haha:), weighed myself and took my BP. To my wonderful delight, my weight dropped by FOUR pounds overnight & my BP was 121/72. AHHHH!! YES! What wonders a good night sleep and lots of fluids will do!!! AND today was the first day in probably 3 weeks that my mom told me I looked okay! (meaning I'm not super puffy) We even played around by pushing on my legs and wrists and we couldn't leave an imprint- something that hasn't happened in weeks! I am not sure why the swelling went SOOOO down overnight- the only thing that I did differently was down a really huge gatorade over night which did cause me to pee a LOT... but still, wow 4 lbs of water weight gone? I am finding this whole swelling/BP thing crazy! The only thing that is kind of making me nervous at this point is the headache that isn't getting better with tylenol. Like I said, I took tyleonl PM last night but unfortunately still woke up with a headache this morning. A headache that doesn't get better with tylenol is yet another reason for concern. But instead of focusing a ton on that, I am trying to stay positive about the BP & swelling going down.
Tomorrow I turn in my jug-o-pee & get a 2nd set of PIH blood work done. I'm hoping to have some good answers as to what is going on after the weekend. I can't believe I'll be 35 weeks next week- I remember when I was preggo with Maeve, my midwife told me that if I were to go into labor at 35 weeks they'd make no effort to stop it- something about that makes this whole thing seem like its finally getting to the end... praise the Lord! Thanks for the thoughts & prayers!

a preggo update.

This past week has been a little strange... I started swelling even more (believe it or not!) and yesterday I woke up and could see my cheeks- that's how swollen my face is! I also gained-get this- FIVE lbs. in one day- OBVIOUSLY this is water weight right??? Especially since I am barely eating now a days, due to lack of room! One of the warning signs Dr. P gave me was to watch for a big jump in weight- I thought 5 lbs. was pretty big, so I called in. Off I waddled for yet ANOTHER impromptu appt. for my swelling. After doing a urine and BP check, I was deemed safe to go home but told to keep a serious eye on my BP. This morning I took it and it was 134/82- WAY higher than normal (my norm is about 106/70) So I called in AGAIN... this time I spoke with the midwife who told me that 134/82 isn't that bad, BUT it does warrant some investigation. I made my 2nd trip to the hospital in 2 days... but this time it was just to pick up a giant, orange biohazard jug. For the next 24 hours I have to collect ALL my pee in this jug... how disgusting is that????????? Then I go back in on Friday for MORE blood work and to turn the jug in. I'm hanging in there, but I won't lie- I'm scared and exhausted and incredibly uncomfortable. Anyways, just thought I'd update...

Keeping My Eye On The Prize!

I know you are all getting super annoyed with my blogging pity parties... I truly am sorry and I hope that sometime in the near (very near) future I will have something fun to post about- Maeve and I both need it!

It's so crazy how one pregnancy can be so drastically different from the next. I thought Maeve's pregnancy was hard- haha- that was a beautiful walk in the park compared to this one. And I'm sure its because I don't really have any down time. Today I went shopping with my bestie Ang & Maeve. It was an awesome afternoon- Maeve did wonderful (until she had a poop explosion and I pinched her finger in the stroller...ahhh!) It wasn't until I stepped in the door that I realized how bad my body was hurting. I was having braxton hicks like crazy, my head was pounding, my groin was aching and my poor, poor feet were literally purple from all the pressure. (Angela can attest to this-) I never swelled with Maeve- towards the end my hands got a little bulgy I guess, but that is IT. I've heard lots and lots of preggo women complain about swelling and yeah, it looked uncomfortable but I didn't realize how bad it really is! It downright HURTS! I can't bend my fingers and my feet and ankles throb! It's a little scary too just because you can see that physically something is not right with your limbs- weird... after spending a few hours on my feet this afternoon you could press on them and it would leave an indent- I was both enthralled and appalled by this :) I couldn't stop pushing on my feet- haha and I had to show Ryan and my family at dinner how long a thumb print could stay on my foot :)

The exhaustion is overwhelming me- I am trying SO HARD to remain functioning- meaning keeping up with the cleaning/cooking/errand running but I am dragging. DRAGGING. I go to bed every night feeling like I ran a marathon... and then for some odd reason, insomnia sets in and, well, here I am at 9:45 PM blogging when I really should be SLEEPING.

I do have to say that I feel very blessed. I may have cankles, itchy, burning stretch marks and a pounding head, BUT I have a healthy baby (to the best of my knowledge!). He is currently rolling around, rubbing is heels up and down the side of my stomach and battling a case of the hiccups :) I have to keep remembering this- however hellish this pregnancy gets, however many stupid comments I get about my whale-like appearance, and however badly this pregnancy distorts my body, I have a healthy baby.

"MOMMAS!!!!!!"

Yesterday in Target we were walking over to the baby department... Maeve was in the cart, eating popcorn and all of a sudden started yelling at the top of her lungs "MOMMAS!! MOMMAS!!! MOMMAS!!!" and pointing. I had no clue what the heck she was talking about- and then I looked- she was pointing at all the giant bras. UGH.

Let the REAL fun begin.

I was up last night from 4-5 or so, with one of those awful pregnancy induced bloody noses. The thing would not stop bleeding and I didn't want to get my pillow all yucky so I sat in the bathroom half asleep- NOT FUN!

Braxton Hicks have also picked up- mostly when I lay down. As we all know, they don't hurt, but mine take my breath away every time I get one- anyone else???

And last but not least, my face looks like one of those poor, unfortunate 8th graders- greasy and covered in zits. GROSS. No amount of make up can cover them- its really just not pleasant.

Fun, fun, fun!!!!!!!!

Our Anniversary... 7/1/2009

This anniversary will definitely go down in the books as one we will never, ever forget! Last night we had reservations at "Gratzis" in Ann Arbor- I was thrilled because its probably been 6 months or so since I've been out for a meal without Maeve. I ended up taking a nap with Maeve and after waking up, I started having some braxton hicks contractions- I got them with Maeve a TON so its nothing new. Unfortunately, they started to get painful and wrap around my belly into my back. I was also getting some leg pain. When Ryan got home at 5 I told him I needed to lay down for an hour and drink like a horse. (that's the drill when those stupid contractions come on) I laid on the couch- literally with my feet up, and drank one of those huge 32 oz gatorades. Nothing changed- well except for the fact that now I was having to switch positions to try and get comfortable, which was really scaring me because that's exactly what I did during my labor with Maeve. Ryan decided we should call L&D (labor & delivery) to see who was on call- luckily it was my doc :) He said that if I've tried laying down and drinking fluids to come on in. YUUUUUCK. I couldn't believe it- Ryan and I were both dressed nicely for dinner, I had my sister coming over who thought she was going to be watching Maeve for 3 hours or so and here we were headed off to the hospital. To say the least I was bummed.

My sister got to our house around 6:30 and Ryan and I headed off to Allegiance. Strangely enough, I wasn't super scared about going, I was more ticked off that this just HAD to happen on our anniversary. The ER was dead- so we got right in. They did a urine sample, put in an IV, took massive amounts of blood and then left us to sit in a GIANT, florescently lit room- how romantic. After two hours or so, the doctor finally came in to see us- he felt my stomach, tapped my back, listened to my heart, all that stuff and came to the conclusion that its either round ligament pains or bleeding in my uterus. He ordered an ultrasound and then told me that I'd need to either get a catheter or drink water for 3-4 hours to fill my bladder. I really wasn't trying to be smart with the doc. but I said "Um, I have an ultrasound scheduled for Monday and the slip of paper I got told me to drink one hour prior to the u/s and hold... so do you really think its going to take 3-4 hours to fill my bladder?" He said it would depend. :/ hmmm... I'm really not sure about some of those ER docs. Either way, I opted to drink water- I'm not sure who in their right mind would ever choose a catheter over drinking but they did give me that option. So Ryan and I both drank a few Styrofoam cups full of water, while watching "America's got talent." We joked about how this was our date and Ryan went to go get some pretzels to go with our water... ughhh.

Sooner than later, my bladder was full to the brim and of course, if you've ever been to the ER, nothing ever happens quickly- so after telling my nurse I was full, she then took about 20 minutes to go find this machine to make sure I had over 200 mL in my bladder- I had 472. Yeeeeeah. It was full. After she said I was full enough she called ultrasound and they said I could come down in about an hour and a half. HAHAHAHA- I told her right then and there that I was not going to hold this in for that long. The nurse said absolutely do not go the bathroom, otherwise I'd have to do this whole process again. I told her "okay" and as soon as she left the room I had Ryan sneak me to the potty.

An hour later, another nurse came to get me and wheel me down to u/s. As SOON as the u/s tech pressed the thing to my belly she told me my bladder was TOO full and to go empty it half way. (just imagine if I had held it from the beginning!) Finally the u/s got underway and it was pretty awesome- it was super dark and quiet (since it was midnight) and we had a great u/s tech who spent a long time just letting us watch the baby do all sorts of cool stuff. We saw the baby's tongue, lens of its eye, and all its fingers and toes. We saw it open and close its mouth and stretch out its legs- how amazing :) Then it was time for the gender part- I haven't had too many u/s- but as soon as she put the transducer on the butt I saw.... NOTHING- my heart started to race and I couldn't believe it was another girl- and I kept saying, "there's nothing there- so its a girl?" WELL... turns out a little something was hiding- because a few minutes later she snapped the incriminating pictures of our BOY. OMG! I am shocked! Ryan was (IS) ecstatic and I was, well, in SHOCK, SHOCK, SHOCK. Even as I sit here this morning, I am still wrapping my head around having a boy- I was SO sure it was another girl and life for a few months would be pretty easy since we already have EVERYTHING for a girl. But, I guess God had different plans in mind :)

After the u/s I was wheeled back to the ER to wait the results of the u/s, blood work and urine test. It turns out I have a few little issues- the first, is a bladder infection (they think that's what is causing my discomfort); The second, my placenta is pretty low- "lower than they'd like to see it" is how they put it. SO before we could officially go home, I had to go BACK to u/s to get a transvaginal u/s- that was really not a pleasant experience.

Anyways, I was released around 3 AM or so, STILL experiencing cramping, but assured it was okay- even though not once was I hooked up to anything to monitor contractions... I'm following up with my doctor (midwife) today and will hopefully have a more conclusive reason as to why I am in so much pain and discomfort.

I am also hoping to make a run to gymboree either this afternoon or tomorrow to pick up some boy clothes- they're having the big semi annual sale and everything is wayyyy cheap and now that I have another closet to fill, I guess I should get started.

Bump.

Here is my 18 week BUMP. I feel gigantic... and this blue shirt I'm wearing reminds me of a whale... hmmm...

I am getting really frustrated because I'm still not feeling a whole lot of movement- and when I DO feel movement its hard to say for sure that its the baby. In my baby book with Maeve, this is the time when I started to feel her pretty consistently. Maybe this baby is a whole lot more laid back... but I LOVE baby movement so I hope he/she kicks it up a bit.

I've also started to break out horribly- just like I did with Maeve. It's awful! Nothing helps it... so I really do look like a knocked up 16 year old.

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On a completely different note (and yes, this is bragging) I got an awesome deal at Kroger the other day and just HAD to share the pic :) I bought 10 packs of wipes on sale for 1.64 and used 10 .75 off coupons. AND the wipes are part of this buy 10 deal, get 3 bucks off. I also had some coupons for Johnson & Johnson that were expiring- bath buddies were 1.00 & I had 5 $1.00 off coups :) YEA for free bath bars!

Grand total:$6.26 hoooooray!