whoops.

dang it... I already messed up my 30 days/30 posts. Oh well... I guess it takes the pressure off. Just to warn you, tonights post is not going to be cheery or meaningful in any way. I'm just DONE. DONE DONE DONE. I feel like I've been in early labor for 4 days now. Contractions- just none regular enough to into L&D about (for example- I'll get them 4-6 minutes apart for an hour, but then the next hour I'll get like TWO), horrible diarrhea (sorry-gross), my back is killing me and every morning when I wake up I get tears in my eyes thinking "HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER DAY LIKE THIS???" I had no clue how hard pregnancy is when you can't just lay around all day and be lazy. FIRS TIME MOMS WHO ARE READING THIS- TAKE NAPS- AS MANY AS YOU CAN!!! Because the 2nd time around, ya don't get 'em!!! Also, my acid reflux IS.KILLING.ME. I don't fall asleep until around midnight or so each night because I simply cannot lay down for about 5-6 hours after we eat. So if we ate at 6, I will be up until midnight- just sitting in bed, with my tailbone and hips going numb... waiting for the acid to settle. It's truly miserable. And its gross as heck.

I saw my midwife tonight at the dance studio (Tuesday nights Maeve and I eat w/ my mom because Ryan is at class... so we meet out at the studio) and we talked a bit about how I was feeling. And then I asked the MUCH anticipated question "Sooo.... I'll be 39 weeks the week of Thanksgiving- Dr. P had mentioned that he would like to think about induction at 39 weeks... Would it be a huge deal if I was induced at say, 38 weeks 5 days???" NOPE not happening. She said by GUIDELINES set at the hospital (???) I have to be 39 weeks on the nose. WTH????????? My friend Amanda who was standing there joked and said "Don't you know those 2 extra days are really important? That's when they grow legs!" Really though- COME ON. Sooo... it looks like I will either be IN the hospital over Thanksgiving or being discharged the day of. I am beyyyoooond BUMMED. My only hope is that I am dilating enough to have my membranes stripped tomorrow and next Monday- and that something (ahhheeem LABOR) comes out of it. I really didn't picture myself IN the hospital over Thanksgiving- I thought- surely they won't care about inducing me a couple of days early. WRONG!!!
And really, if I talk to ONE MORE person who just adores being pregnant I might puke. Yes, pregnancy is a miracle, it CAN be beautiful- I've seen those beautiful preggo women out there, but I am not one of them! My face looks like a 13 year old boy's covered in pizza grease. My stomach looks like Freddy Krueger came at it and GULP... even my thighs are starting to get some stretch marks on them. I'm swollen to the point where I can't wear anything but sandals (and yes, we all know its cold & November here) I do not own ONE shirt (this includes Maternity!!!!) that covers my stomach all the way. I am officially wearing Ryan's shirts... ummm gross? I feel like I have a bowling ball in between my legs... I pee when I sneeze or cough (and not just a little- but enough to where I have to GO HOME and change my underwear). Ahhhhh! I could really go on all night, but I don't want my blog to turn into one giant vent. Sooo... I will end it.
Tomorrow is a big day- if I'm dilated enough, I get my membranes stripped. I am trying SO hard to think positively... and I have a new mantra: POP, GUSH. POP, GUSH. POP, GUSH. Wish me luck!!!