Dents, Divots, Dimples, DANG IT

Sooooooooo one of my new year resolutions is to lose my baby weight- ALL of it. I only gained 35 lbs. or so during my pregnancy but because of all the craziness that ensued AFTER I gave birth, losing that weight has been really tough. Yup, that is one of my resolutions- another, is to resolute to EMBRACE this new body of mine- even when I get down to my goal weight, my body is not, will not ever be the same.

Tonight I gave Maeve a bath and she was doodling all over the tub with her new bath crayons. After Ryan came to get her, I turned on the shower and started scrubbing all of her "drawings" off the walls. Okay, this next part may sound a bit crazy, but we've all seen those "Dr. 90210" shows right? Where the doc. draws where he's gonna lipo you? Well I took Maeve's green crayon and started circling ON MY BODY where I wanted improvement. Sadly enough, I looked like "Shrek" by the end of it. It really doesn't matter HOW much weight I lose, I have dimples and divots in my stomach that will never, EVER go away- dimples in my thighs and butt that no amount of squats are going to take care of and extra stomach skin that is just gonna be there. That's when I made the resolution to become healthy- lose the weight, and when I reach that goal weight EMBRACE what I have. I would never get plastic surgery- I'm too chicken... but I can't help feeling really discouraged knowing that this is it- this is my post-baby body and its always going to have stretch marks, dimples, dents and divots. DANG IT :)

I am pretty open on here (my blog) but not open enough to post a pic of me in a bikini- that would scare the bravest of the brave. But perhaps, after I get down to my goal weight I might post a pic in a bikini- stretch marks and all. They're apart of me- never to be rid of, and all I can do now is embrace them and make do!

I Should Get An Award For This :)

Okay please don't be too harsh about these- I watched "Jon & Kate..." today and it was all about her tummy tucking surgery. And I figured if she can bare her dog "jowls" to the world, I can show my tummy to my friends and fellow bloggers. These were taken gosh, maybe 4 months pp? I weigh almost exactly the same as when those were taken (mid 120s) so... its sad- I know I will never be able to wear a 2 piece again. But they're my battle scars from pregnancy, and really, they're memories. I run my fingers over the yucky bumps and remember when my belly was stretched out to the street, and how when Maeve would push her little bum up it would pop my belly button out even farther. Or when Ryan would spend hours (literally!) at night rubbing that dang "stretch mark remedy" (YEAH RIGHT) cream all over my belly. He would also get ice cubes and run them up and down all over my stretch marks because the buggers hurt! Those are memories I wouldn't trade for the world, and definitely not for a better tummy. I DO plan on doing some sit ups and ab stuff eventually (I haven't done A sit up since birth!!!!)- I walk or ride my bike EVERY single day and like I've said in previous blogs, our family is really on the whole organic, healthy eating train. SO I am hoping that by my birthday ( mid September) that my tummy will look waaayyy better and I will have lost the last 8-10 lbs. I have lost a little bit of weight over the past few weeks from biking, walking and eating good food :) But its probably water weight. My goal before I have the next babe is to be UNDER 120. Whether thats 119 or whatever, I don't care- just under 120! So I will continue to keep you all updated on my progress (or lack of). blah.
Anyways, please don't be too disgusted by the pics!!! YIKES I KNOW!