October 19th.

I am KILLING it with these creative blog titles, huh?

Today, is indeed October 19th. It's a day that changed my life forever, that's for sure! I was four years old in sunny Florida, when my mom introduced me to my brand new baby sister... Meghan Lorene.

I can't lie and say that we hit it off right away. My mom frequently reminds me of our car ride home from the hospital... Apparently, Meghan was crying and I asked "Can we take her back now?"

We've all laughed at the old home videos of an early Christmas morning, the camera aimed at Emily opening a gift, and me shoving Meghan in the background.

Things pretty much stayed the same through middle school and high school. We clashed. We argued over clothes- she always had to wear what I was wearing :). We'd argue over space- I'd have friends over and she'd want to tag along. There were a lot of battles fought in that big yellow house!

I've since apologized (numerous times) for all the fighting, name calling and plain out meanness that I aimed at her all those years.

I've seen her go through some tough times. She's seen me through some tough times.

I'm pretty sure it was the birth of Maeve that really cemented our relationship.

Meghan fought hand over fist for a spot in the delivery room... (it was her vs. Emily:) I was completely out of it and didn't care if there was an elephant in the room- so I don't remember them drawing straws, or doing whatever they did.

I remember when it was time to push, Meghan started doing a "P-U-S-H" cheer for me... I rolled my eyes and told her to "knock it off." (or something like that...)

She stood behind my head with the video camera (and specific instructions to keep the video PG) the entire time. I pushed for an hour and a half. Throughout the video, you can hear Meghan crying and saying "You can do it Ashley! Come on!"

When Maeve was born and put in the baby warmer, Meghan ran over with the camera (getting a fabulous panoramic shot of... me... gross.. THANKS MEGHAN!) and stood over peanut Maeve. On the video, she's saying softly "She's so beautiful Ashley. She's perfect!"

Meghan was one of the first to hold Maeve. I'll never forget when I was "decent" the rest of my family coming in- my dad was holding Maeve and Meghan was peering down, saying "Isn't she perfect?"

I can most definitely say this is the moment that I felt like my sister was more than just a sister- more than the annoying 8 year old that clung to me... more than the ballerina, more than the "smart one," more than anything else I thought she was. She was clearly my sister, but also a best friend. (I say A best friend because I've got another sister who is going to be jealous that this post isn't about her:)- so to be clear both of my sisters are best friends)...

Meghan visited Maeve and I constantly. As often as she could get home, she would, and then she'd be glued to Maeve. I remember wondering "Why does she love her so much?" I mean, I know why I love Maeve and why Ryan, mom and dad all love her, but why was Meghan so in love with her? I know aunts love their nieces, and dote on them, but I guess I was expecting my college- aged sister to kind of take Maeve as a cute baby that she spoils- not as this being that she loves more than words.

I can hands down say that Maeve and Henry have the best aunts in the whole world. My sister(EEERS-emily) love my kids and that was a turning point in our family. I saw Meghan for who she was- who she's always been. Meghan is the sweetest, most loving, genuinely kind person with a compassionate heart and a beautiful soul. She's always been beautiful on the outside, that's obvious- but do you know that she's even more beautiful on the inside?

She shines with happiness. Anyone can plainly see in her eyes, the joy she has. She's passionate about life and love, her talent and her Savior. My little sister, the one who I thought clung around me too much, is now the person I want in my life more than anything.

If you're friends with Meghan, wish her a happy birthday. If anyone deserves a fabulous day, its her.

We love you Meghan... all of us- so much!

And from me personally, thanks for being the sister you are. Thanks for showing us what its like to love Christ. Thank you for loving my kids like their your own. Thanks for loving me. I miss you.

Happy Birthday Megpie.

PS- thanks mom and dad, for not taking her back to the hospital :)

Gone, Going.

For some unknown reason, I've committed to going to Florida tomorrow morning. I say that because I will be traveling without Ryan and staying in a FULL house of family. hmmm... I LOVE, LOVE my family but I'm not sure how 5 straight days are going to go with me being moody as heck, Maeve teething and sharing ONE, yes ONE bathroom. It will definitely be interesting. Also, today, here in Jackson I think the high got up to 80-something and I have been sweating like a pig. I came home from Lasing (impromptu shopping trip) and peeled my clothes off and laid in bed with the fan blowing on high, directly on me. I started thinking of Florida in the summer- a high in the 80's would be a cool day for them. GAHHHH. I am going to pop like a tick down there. And as much preparation as I've put in for this 2 and half hour flight, I am still SO nervous about doing it alone. How the heck am I going to maneuver myself in those tiny bathrooms with Maeve and my belly? How am I going to keep Maeve happy while SITTING for almost 3 hours? How am I going to lift and carry things (stroller, car seat, diaper bag, purse, suitcase) without putting myself into labor? How am I going to do all of this while keeping my sanity? I have no clue.

So why am I going to Florida? My sister, who lives in Mississippi is going to be there- and I never see her and having the opportunity to visit and let her spend some time with Maeve is a huge reason. Also, my dear, sweet grandma's house was robbed a couple of weeks ago and she really needs some help to get things back in order. Also- she has an awesome, screened in pool that I can freely bare my whale-like self without the onlooking from strangers. And then of course it really comes down to Maeve- she is going to have such a blast at Sea World, the beach and spending the days by the pool with her aunt Meggie, GiGi and nana. SOOOOO I will bite the bullet, board the plane and try my hardest to get there all in one piece. Anyways, please say a prayer of safety for us- I hate flying with a passion! Also- my grandma's computer was stolen during the robbery- so this will be the last update until we get back. Be on the look out for a billion beach pictures! :)

ALOHA!!! & Mornings With Maeve

ALOOOOOOOOOOHA (and thats Aloha GOODBYE not Aloha Hello) to those stupid "Aloha Chicken Kabobs." Remember my post the other day about how I'd post pics of my kabobs and my beautiful cauliflower pototatoes? I'm sure none of you were sitting around waiting for that post, BUT to clarify why there is no "Aloha Kabobs" post, its because I screwed up royally. The whole recipe makes no sense to me- it said to twist the chicken on and around the skewers (WOODEN skewers) and then to coat a frying pan in olive oil and cook them. I was even thinking to myself "this makes no sense- the wood is going to burn!" Well, I about started a fire when I put all those kabobs in there. The wood was burning and smoking like crazy- and the worst part? our very nice sauce pan that I use daily is completely ruined. NO thought of salvaging it. UGH so yeah, ALOHA (goodbye) to those kabobs and my pan. We won't be trying that recipe again..

Maeve in the mornings :) Wild haired and ready to go!

Now onto this morning...This morning was a very typical morning with Maeve :) I thought I'd share what we do... WELL actually, I don't make her french toast every morning- she usually gets toast and bananas- and once or twice a week I'll make her pancakes or french toast. Anyways, this morning it was a french toast morning and I moved away from the traditional egg/milk mixture to make the toast- I used yet another recipe from my deceptive cookbook. I used sweet potatoes AND pineapple, along with eggs and cinnamon- I must say, it looked and smelled SO good. MaeMae isn't a huge eater but she ate almost every bite of it. YEA!!!

Yea! Maeve's empty plate! VERY rare sight... so I had to take a pic!

After breakfast, we played with her new tea set (YES I found it at Target and its the cutest thing ever) , and then Auntie Meg came over to baby sit- I had yet another appointment up in Ann Arbor.

Maeve playing with her tea set... it sings a sharing song... how cute is that?

After Ann Arbor, I made it back just in time to give Maeve her afternoon bottle. I was SO, SO, SO looking forward to taking a nap (that drive to AA once a week is really tiring me out!!!) but Maeve must've snuck some caffine or something because that kid was CRAAAAZY! It took me about an hour and a half to get her to bed. UGH.... Anyways, the night turned out to be a good one- Daddy (Ryan) took us out to dinner and Maeve's night was made when we got to sit right next to the giant fish tank at Darryls. Tomorrow we're gearing up for an emotional day- we have to say goodbye to Auntie Meg :( We probably won't see her until the end of the summer. And its always sad because we know how much growing and changing Maeve is going to do in all those months and Meghan will miss out on all of it. WELL I ate way too much tonight at dinner and I am second guessing my spicy buffalo chicken choice- acid reflux STIIIIINKS!

My Last Post of 2008

I don't really have anything significant to post about- but I figured I had to do an "official" end of the year post. I thought I would do some McKenney updates, facts, figures and such... and also talk about this past year- learning experiences, humbling moments and fun memories. For once, I am a bit lost for words- if you are a regular reader of mine, you know thats uncommon for me- I can ramble with the best of them! And I'm reminded by my sisters that my posts are often too long for them to read... (ADD anyone?) But as I write this, moments and days are coming into mind that I think are important to include in a "New Years" post. So... this will probably end up being "too long" for Meghan & Emily, but its my blog and well, here it goes:

Last year around this time I was struggling with some pretty intense anxiety. To be completely honest (and I'm banking on the fact that you will all read this judgement-free) I was "lit" on a bunch of anti-anxiety drugs. I've said it before, but my ativan pills are equivalent to 3 beers- I was allotted 4 a day- and I was taking full advantage of their sedating effects. So yup, there was a time- last year probably to the date- that I was "having" 12 beers a day... I am proud, VERY proud to say that I have not taken an Ativan since November 24th, 2008. Just about 6 weeks! Thanks to UMICH docs. for weaning me off of that stuff! I don't feel like a zombie anymore! :)

My weight: If you were to log onto facebook and look back over all the pictures that have been taken over the past year you'd definitely see some major fluctuations in my weight. Between switching anxiety meds. , dieting, NOT dieting, and stress my weight has been at a low of 110 and at a high of 135. Pretty huge fluctuations... its not too fun. But like I said, my wonderful UMICH docs. have me all evened out on anxiety meds. and I've been working out and eating healthily, so I am hoping to finally, FINALLY drop the weight in the correct way. And then of course, as soon as I get to my goal weight up will pop the positive preggo test, right? :)

ER visits: WOW I think its safe to say we are "frequent fliers" at the Foote Hospital (Allegiance) ER. Between Maeve and I, we've made 4 trips there this year. 2 for Maeve, 2 for me. Thankfully, with my anxiety getting under control, our ER trips will be cut down. But Maeve I'm sure is bound to surprise us this year with a few bumps and bruises...yikes.

In September of this year, I was completely humbled- what a rough month. I know we all need to be humbled and to feel our blessings, but September was really a nightmare. A very good friend gave birth to a stillborn baby girl- shock doesn't begin to describe what I felt when I got that phone call. And another "friend"- more of an acquaintance lost her son to a brain tumor. WOW- to say the least, I felt incredibly blessed and to be honest, guilty. Why some people have to experience such trauma and grief is something our Father only knows.

Here is some good news: I have completely and totally embraced motherhood and I feel incredibly confident in my mothering skills! :) I feel like I know my child like I know the back of my hand- I know what she wants, when she wants it. I also know whats best for her. Even if its not what is best for someone else's child, it may be what works for us. And that is totally acceptable to me. :) When I first had Maeve I would've trusted the "bag lady" on the street for parenting advice- I felt like I had given birth to an alien- not a human being :) Even though I had carried her for 10 months, she was foreign to me- I didn't know how to feed her, I didn't know how much to feed her, I didn't know her cries, I didn't know about medication dosages, I didn't know much about anything! And for a really, REALLY long time I trusted lots of other moms with advice- some was well given and much appreciated, other advice, not so much. And don't get me wrong, I still LOVE getting together with moms and talking and sharing info about our kids but I'm not so quick to adapt to someone else's parenting style. Again, I am confident with who I am as a mother. :) What a wonderful thing!

Lets see, Ryan- remember that guy? I hardly ever write about him! Poor guy! :) Honestly, its because we don't see each other- like literally- don't see each other. Between my work schedule and his, we're hardly ever in the house at the same time. And at night, Ryan's usually working on homework out in the kitchen and I'm either sleeping or blogging or doing something else completely thats lazy. But anyways, Ryan is great- he doesn't like his job, which reflects many times in his moods- not to say he's in bad moods all the time, but its sad because he'll come home from work just disappointed in the day. Luckily, he graduates in August and he will be in an entirely new area of work! YEA! We are looking forward to some good health coverage and better paychecks!

Vacations: Yes, we are notorious for taking vacations. What can I say? I would rather sacrifice food, water and shelter if that meant we could take a holiday! :) Thankfully, we don't need to sacrifice THAT much in order to take a few vacays a year. This year, Maeve and I went to Florida three times and once to New England. It was great! Ryan got to join us twice to Florida- Spring Break and our Disney trip in October. Like I've mentioned before, spring break is April 17th for us and we are counting down the days to sunshine and warmth.

Well, it isn't even close to midnight here in Michigan and to be honest, I am pretty sure I'll be knocked out within the next hour. But the new year will still be there to greet me in the morning... no need to ring it in I guess. :) Especially when you've got a baby who likes to wake up at 7.


OH- one quick last note- I am "CLAIMING" names this year- because there is a baby boom going on and I will honestly be devastated if either of these names are used by a good friend- sound selfish? Yeah, kind of but its New Years, I had diet coke for dinner and I'm sleeping next to my stinky boxer- I think I have a right to SOMETHING fun tonight! :) So...... some of you (probably most of you) may think to yourselves "Ashley I wouldn't use those names if I was on drugs and had a gun against my head" but I L-O-V-E them and will honestly be upset if someone "steals" them:) Henry and Shepherd (Shep) are the chosen names (at the moment) for our future, non-existent sons. Who knows if they will still be at the top of the list when the moment comes, and I also feel deep within me that we are destined to have all girls... BUT if we do have a boy, I am claiming those names!!! :)


Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2008 was great for you all and 2009 will be even better! God bless and peace out! :)

Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head!

Today, Maeve and I hung out with Aunt Meghan (or Aunt Menee). We shopped our booties off at target looking for some fun water toys that Maeve could play with in the teeny tiny pain in the butt pool we bought... Then we went to JoAnn fabrics (my new fave. store) and bought material to make Maeve a picnic blanket... and Meghan made some head scarves out of scrap fabric... and I finished up (well kind of) making the holiday cans I've been working on for a few months- I will blog about those in a minute...
Well I got Maeve this super cute blow up pool- but I had no clue how hard it would be to get the thing in working order!!! It took both Meghan and I about a half hour to get that thing blown up!!! Ugh.... we were so excited to see Maeve sit in it with all her little toys we had just spent hours picking out! So Meg dressed her in her bikini and I filled the pool up with some warm water (cause the skies were looking a little gray... not too sunny) We dumped the toys in, carried the pool to the front door and it was POURING rain. Not just sprinkling a few drops, but we're talking torrential downpour!!! I was like "Well this kid is swimming on the porch!" Don't worry guys- it wasn't lightening or any of that scary stuff! So we dragged the pool onto the front porch and sat Maeve in it. She LOVED it! She was so mesmerized by the rain though that we couldn't catch a cute picture of her! She kept trying to climb out and grab the rain! She is such a little mermaid! I swear she could've lounged in there all day. So even though it rained, the pool was a hit and I can't wait to try it out on a sunny day.
I had a really fun day with you Meghan!!! I am going to miss you like a child misses its blanket when you leave on Monday!