ramblings... part??

I need to come up with some catchy "Rambling" title... I tend to ramble, a lot.

Any suggestions for a go-to rambling post title?

back to the rambling...

-if one good thing has come out of my parents leaving, its me becoming closer with my brother, Tyler. We used to see each other ummm.... maybe once a month in passing- IF THAT- now a days, he's babysitting the kids, we're doing lunch and just talking... and that's really nice. Tyler has a girlfriend, Katie, who comes over as well, and she's great with the kids. I am so thankful that I have them here. I never thought in a million years (sorry tyler- not like you read this anyway:) that I'd be looking to my little brother for anything, but I know now, if I'm in a pinch, he's always more than willing to hang out with his niece and nephew.

- Maeve is 3 and not potty trained. that's all.

-this morning when I woke up, I had one thing on my mind- MAKE A PIE. I don't know why... but for a few days I've been wanting a stinkin pear pie. NOT a store bought one- but a fresh, home made one, that makes your house smell like fall. I chopped, kneaded, folded, whatever the heck you do to make a pie- I put the dough patties in the fridge and patiently waited (ALL DAY) for them to chill. Around 5 I took them out annnd.... they cracked. In a zillion pieces. I was close to tears (I must have really wanted this pear pie...) and Ryan suggested I just pile all the crust into the pan. HA... I did, and all I can say is faiiillllure. But I'm planning on blogging about it tomorrow.

-I feel like our kitchen has become some sort of pharmacy. We've got infants tylenol and motrin for Henry. CHILDREN'S tylenol and motrin for Maeve. Antibiotics, vicks, thermometers, blahhhhhhh. Okay sickness, can you go now?

-Henry's ears are really bugging him when he lies down. Anyone wanna take a wild guess at what activity he is NOT doing because of this??? Yahhhh.... that boy- woooo! It's a good thing I love him so much... I rocked him from 8 PM to about 1 AM - sitting up in the rocker- it was the only way to get him to stay asleep. Insane.

-I woke up this morning in a puddle of milk. That's always fun, right? I was up so late with Henry, I didn't even hear Maeve get up- Ryan must have stuck her in with me (and a sippy cup of milk...) when I woke up, Maeve had left, sippy stayed and leaked everywhere.

-Ryan and I have decided that whatever we do in Florida- whether we rent a house or an apartment (notice I didn't say buy... I don't think we'll ever buy again) it has to have a spare bedroom for TOYS. I thought I could manage with the toy clutter... but apparently I can't. Maybe its because I tripped over a little tykes grocery cart filled with barbies and books this afternoon... I don't know- but I want a playroom.

-I have an amazing husband. AMEN. then end.

-I have been having anxiety attacks about our upcoming flight. I would rather get some sort of dental surgery (and we all know how much I hate dental surgery) than fly on an airplane, alone, with my 3 and 1 year old.... not fun.

-my family has always joked that I can read people really well. Like put someone in front of me and I get a vibe. Weird? Yeah, I guess. But I am SO on... Like SO ON its scary :) -ANGELA- do you remember my birth predictions???

-Why do I have to discover this fabulous herbalife diet in the middle of freezing winter? I mean, I guess its not WINTER yet, but its freezing- and not a time where I feel like shakes. I want coffee. I've been off the train... usually drinking coffee for breakfast, a shake for lunch and whatever I want for dinner... not quite the plan, but that's the best I can do right now. I'm not walking around with a milkshake in 20 degree weather.

-early, early this morning (4/5?) I woke up and heard Maeve reading in her room. It was sweet, and then I heard her starting to ask questions- like she was talking with someone. I made Ryan go check... I watch too much dang dateline. And thank GOD she was just talking to herself, but uhhh, it kind of reminded me of "The Shining." Later, I asked her who she was talking to and she said "the bones." WTH.

-I am SO excited.... there is an awesome give away that I have the privilege of hosting.... stay tuned... it's fab and it's next week :)
-I have Henry's career path nailed- he will be a Shamu trainer. This kid wants water 24/7. And he's a smart one- he'll dump his bottle or sippy on the floor, forming a puddle that he can splash in. It doesn't matter if its the toilet, the dog bowls, a puddle of milk, leftover shower water, WHATEVER- he'll find it and play in it. I suppose there are more careers besides being a whale trainer, that involve water- like a captain or a fisherman... those would be cool too- but how sweet would it be to get in free to SEA WORLD?!

-My mom called and told me they were having a "cold front" down in Florida. Lows of 50.

-I feel like we're (Ryan, myself, the kids) are in this big waiting room- we're being soooo patient... knowing that great, great places and things are in our future- but we're waiting... and waiting... I will now quote that super obnoxious quote about waiting- "good things come to those who wait."

-This week has been wretched. God sure works in mysterious ways.

-I learned a super important lesson this week... and again, I'm going to use a quote (because I love them) by BUDDHA!: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." So, so, so true. And I'm not sure why it took 26 years to realize that.

those are my ramblings for tonight...

my friends and family- I love and miss you all... (well Les, Jess, Angie- I'm sure I'll see you gals next week:) Mom, dad, brothers & sisters, Ang, Suz- it's been too long. I am desperate for an ear, advice and a shoulder.

ahhhh big love and hugs to all...

Sometimes...

Sometimes music can so greatly say what you are feeling- so much better than your own words- and with the beautiful melodies behind it, the meaningful words seem to take on a whole new level of emotion. Therefore, this post is going to be about some music I've been listening to lately... and how its spoken to my heart...

A goal of Ryan and I's has been to move south- I am from the south (Florida) and I miss it terribly. There is a need in my SOUL to be near the ocean, for sunshine and warmth. I try my hardest to stay positive and upbeat in this horrible season called winter, but I end up depressing myself more by thinking about where we could be... where we SHOULD be. But I know God has us here for a reason... and I am trying to find the joy in living in this icy tundra. Like today, from the inside of a warm home, the snow looks really pretty... but I'd rather have a view of a palm tree. :( And once a year when we go sledding down Cascades Hill, its fun- although I'd rather be surfing in the Atlantic. One of the things that gets me through the winter is listening to my buds Jimmy & Jack. I've decided to list a few of my faves. and if you too, find yourself depressed by winter, crank up the heat, buy a palm tree for the living room and turn on one of their C.D.s. Its the closest to paradise that I've found living in Michigan.

So here we go with the whole music thing: My mom and (mostly dad) introduced me to the wonderful lyrics and sounds of Jimmy Buffett when I was a kid. I think by the time I was 6 I had all the lyrics down to "Volcano," "Cheeseburger In Paradise," "Margaritaville," and "Come Monday." And to this day, those are some of my fave. songs :)
I was just listening to this song today called "The Captain and the Kid" and I burst out in tears. I have heard it a thousand times before, but everytime, it reminds me of my grandpa. And with Maeve sitting in the backseat, I was reminded that she'd never meet either of her great-grandpas, and one of her great-grandmas (on my side of the family). Its emotional, and Meghan, my sister, I know will just love this post because we share a love for Jimmy and our poppa. My grandpa was a sailor in the navy. He loved the ocean and had many boats and took every chance he could to get out on them and fish- deep sea fishing! I remember one particular picture of him with both of his legs gone, from diabetes, sitting in his wheelchair and wheeling in a giant Marlin. He was really an amazing guy. And some of my favorite memories are his stories- I think half of them were made up :) Anyhow, it was fun to sit on his lap and hear about his adventures on the sea. SO back to "Captain & The Kid" here are some lyrics from it:
"I never used to miss the chance
To climb upon his knee
Listen to the many tales
Of life upon the sea

We'd go sailin' back on barkentines
An' talk of things he did
Tomorrow was just a day away
For the captain and the kid

...He's somewhere on the ocean now
A place he outta be
With one hand on the starboard rail
He's wavin' back at me."
Isn't that a beautiful song? Download it!

Jimmy Buffett holds so much history for me- like I said, I've listened to it since I was a kid and so many of the songs remind me of my childhood, my dad, my grandpa and vacations... Another song I really like a lot, and relate to my dad, is "A Pirate Looks At 40." I think that song describes my dad pretty well :)

"Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late"

-Thats another one you should listen to :)

Now for Jack Johnson :) He is in my generation, rather than Jimmy, who is in my dads/grandpas generation. For those of you who don't know, Jack Johnson's "Better Together" was Ryan & I's first dance song at our wedding...

"...Our dreams, and they are made out of real things,
Like a shoebox of photographs,
With sepiatone loving,
Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart ,
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy,
And sometimes life can be deceiving,
I'll tell you one thing, its always better when we're together"

Isn't that so beautiful? It's an awesome song :)

A few songs that have been pulling at my heart strings lately are "Go On" and "Losing Keys"- both of those songs are on his new album "Sleep Through the Static."
"Go On" is about his kids, which obviously makes me emotional about Maeve :)

Here is a snippet from "Go On"
"In my rear view, I watch you, watching the twilight
behind the telephone lines with nothing to prove,
or to assume. Just thinking that your thoughts
are different than mine. Through my rear view, I watch
you, I gave you your life, but you give me mine."

I LOVE that last line- so true- I worked so hard to bring Maeve into this world, I and with much help from God, gave her life, but she gives me mine. :) So true huh?

Losing Keys has one lyric that I think can speak volumes about my life:
"The world has its ways to quiet us down,
the world has its ways to quiet us down comes the rain,
down comes our spirits again, but down comes the strength
that lifts us up and then..."

Anyways I could probably go on forever listing lyrics that I love and that are near and dear to my heart, but instead I will leave you with one last Jimbo song:
This particular song I think can describe ME- I feel like a "Cowboy in the Jungle" so many times- just out of place. Meant to be in my hometown of St. Augustine, FL, but instead here, in Jackson, MI.
"Cowboy In The Jungle"
"We've gotta roll with the punches
Learn to play all of our hunches
Makin' the best of whatever comes your way
Forget that blind ambition
And learn to trust your intuition
Plowin' straight ahead come what may
And there's a cowboy in the jungle"