I Fell Off The Bandwagon :(

BLAH- I toooooootally fell off the dieting/working out bandwagon today. I am SO disappointed in myself. And I am not talking like I ate a brownie- and didn't do a full 30 minutes of cardio- its more like I didn't even GO to the "Y", ate Daryl's bread for lunch DIPPED in ranch dressing and for dinner I had 6 chicken mcnuggets and half a thing of fries. I feel like absolute crap. The whole weight loss thing hasn't really been working that great anyways- I mean, I've been working out like mad and watching like a hawk what I eat, but like I've mentioned before, the actual pounds aren't really coming off... SUPER discouraging. Anyways, I can't let this one day get me down- I CAN'T. I will be at the "Y" bright and early tomorrow and back on the coffee/cliff bar diet.

I Should Get An Award For This :)

Okay please don't be too harsh about these- I watched "Jon & Kate..." today and it was all about her tummy tucking surgery. And I figured if she can bare her dog "jowls" to the world, I can show my tummy to my friends and fellow bloggers. These were taken gosh, maybe 4 months pp? I weigh almost exactly the same as when those were taken (mid 120s) so... its sad- I know I will never be able to wear a 2 piece again. But they're my battle scars from pregnancy, and really, they're memories. I run my fingers over the yucky bumps and remember when my belly was stretched out to the street, and how when Maeve would push her little bum up it would pop my belly button out even farther. Or when Ryan would spend hours (literally!) at night rubbing that dang "stretch mark remedy" (YEAH RIGHT) cream all over my belly. He would also get ice cubes and run them up and down all over my stretch marks because the buggers hurt! Those are memories I wouldn't trade for the world, and definitely not for a better tummy. I DO plan on doing some sit ups and ab stuff eventually (I haven't done A sit up since birth!!!!)- I walk or ride my bike EVERY single day and like I've said in previous blogs, our family is really on the whole organic, healthy eating train. SO I am hoping that by my birthday ( mid September) that my tummy will look waaayyy better and I will have lost the last 8-10 lbs. I have lost a little bit of weight over the past few weeks from biking, walking and eating good food :) But its probably water weight. My goal before I have the next babe is to be UNDER 120. Whether thats 119 or whatever, I don't care- just under 120! So I will continue to keep you all updated on my progress (or lack of). blah.
Anyways, please don't be too disgusted by the pics!!! YIKES I KNOW!

The Hottest Summer

Wooooah Baby it was hot that summer! I waddled around in skirts and tank tops with a water bottle in one hand and a chocolate milkshake in the other. Of course I was suffering through this hot summer during my LAST trimester! I entered into the first week of my 3rd trimester around mid July. My 2nd trimester had gone fantastically so I was hopeful for the 3rd. Right from the start of it though things were very different. I started gaining weight like nobody's business (yes I know now, not to drink 3 milkshakes a day) and I started getting these strange heart palpitations. At first they were just incredibly annoying, but then they got to be downright scary. I mentioned them to my doctor a few times and he said they were from anxiety (which I suffer from) so I was trying to brush them off as just that- anxiety. But as the due date approached, the heat got hotter, and my belly got bigger, the heart palps. got so bad. One day I was at the dance studio with my little sis, Em. We were all by ourselves, just working on some paper stuff. I went to the bathroom and when I stood up to go, I got this hot flash and a few really bad heart palps. It felt like heat had gone from my toes up to my head. My ears were buzzing and I had splotchy vision for a few seconds. Emily knew something was wrong so she was like "Ashley call Ryan and lets go." So Ryan met us at the house and we drove up to the ER. It was around 2 or 3 in the afternoon when we got there and they admitted me right away. It was terrifying- I truly hope none of you ever have to go through something like this!!! I was hooked up to about a bazillion monitors and questions were being thrown at me left and right. I had one nurse trying to get my heart rate and another trying to get sweet Maeves. I was crying and begging for my dad... (sweet huh? Dads make everything better, I swear by that.) After a very long night in the ER and a few rounds of saline, and an anti anxiety drug, AND an Echo, EKG and too much blood work to even begin to think about, I was released with a beta blocker and the order to see a cardiologist. So the ending of this whole story is that I had to wear a holtor monitor and be on a beta blocker at the end of my pregnancy. The heart palps. never went away though- I had them through the entire delivery and my post partum stay at the hospital. They finally went away sometime in mid November. Scary stuff..... Needless to say, I had a horrendous 3rd trimester and was SO READY for October to get there!!!