My Buggy.

It seems like I very rarely anymore, do things with JUST Maeve. And that kills me. :( I miss her. I miss our moments. So this post is for her...



After nap time (so... around four, or so?) the sun was still shining and it was still *relatively* warm outside. BELIEVE IT OR NOT... I have not taken Maeve outside in the past few days- I can't believe it- warm weather and we've stayed indoors. So... after her nap today, I decided to let her romp around outside for a bit. I began to get her dressed- Ahhhh... getting dressed. Getting dressed these days is driving me a tad mad. She is totally at that age where she has an opinion- which is both adorable and frustrating. Adorable, when we have nowhere to be, nothing to do and she wants to wear her "Minnie Mouse" dress and stripped leggings. FRUSTRATING, when we've got a doctors appointment and she wants to put on her monkey bathing suit. Trying to convince her that she had to put leggings on this afternoon was tough- but we compromised- she wore her sparkly (CHRISTMAS!) skirt and I got her in a pair of pants. Oh and her mermaid boots :) By the time we were out the door in the front yard, it was around 4:30 and Mr. Man was screaming. Picture this: Me, wearing Henry in my Moby, literally CHASING Maeve around the house, stepping in piles of dog poo with my Ugg boots on... all the while, Maeve sloshing through puddles, tripping and falling (probably IN dog poo) and oh yeah, did I mention Henry was SCREAMING??? Stressful!!! I think I said a "Praise Jesus" when Ryan's truck came around the bend. He scooped up Mr. & I stayed out with Maeve. Originally I was planning on going in and starting dinner. But Maeve and I were having such a blast, dinner just had to be put off.

We walked. And walked. :) We did about 2 circles around our entire neighborhood. We held hands for a bit. She expressed her independence and walked five feet ahead of me... but always looking back every few steps to make sure I was there. She found a giant stick- I mean GIANT. I tried to convince her to find a smaller one, but to no avail. She hiked around with that giant stick, that was about 2 feet taller than she was. She also thought she was a pirate wielding a sword. A pirate, in mermaid boots, mushroom pants and a sparkly skirt, banging a 4 foot stick on the ground. :) Funny kid. We stopped at every (and I mean EVERY) sewer grate. She thinks fish of some sort live down there. At every grate, she'd get down on her hands and knees and say "come eat fish!" She'd then throw muck down into the water. We went to the park, which was soaking wet- but it was okay, because by this time, Maeve was just AS wet. She BEAMED as I watched her climb the stairs that were so tricky for her to maneuver just this past summer. I teared up as she went down the biggest slide without her reaching for my hand. Where did my little one go??

She showed me how she could jump over snow piles and into puddles. She had a few crashes but for the most part she landed on her feet. At one point she sloshed through such a giant puddle, some of the yucky water splashed up into her mouth. She looked concerned for a total of 2 seconds, as she fished the mud out of her mouth. GROSS.

We listened for "choo-choo's" and again, her entire face lit up when we actually got to hear one (I love living close to railroad tracks :). We looked for bugs ("Lion King bugs" as Maeve calls them). Maeve waved to all the kiddos playing in the neighborhood. She'd exclaim, "HI BOYS!" and wave her hands wildly :) After a good 2 hours outside, I finally convinced her to walk back home with the promise of some cake pops. We held hands the entire walk back to the house.

I will cherish these pictures and moments forever. It was one of those simple days that I'll never forget. Just my bug and I. I need to make it a point to do this more often.

Henry is a very needy baby. He has to be held...like- ALL THE TIME. Maeve has definitely been put on the back burner. I understand that we'll get through this- that Henry will come out of this fussy 24/7 stage and that things will get back to "normal" but this evening with Maeve has made me realize how FAST she's growing. How fast she's changing, figuring this world out and becoming her own little person. I need to be there. I need to live in the moment with her. I need to put down my never ending "to-do" list, and watch my little one twirl on her toes. I need to sit on the floor and do puzzles WITH her, instead of watching from the couch with Henry saying, "show momma how you do the puzzle." I need to sit her toosh in my lap and read with her EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Even if that means she goes to bed a half hour later. I have to. And I need to sneak in her room more often while she's sleeping and just watch. Because before my eyes, my baby, my buggy is growing. And I don't want to miss a second of it.

I love you my bug. You are my first- the first one to show my what it was like to love someone unconditionally. You make me smile every day. Your simple, charming take on life is refreshing and much desired by me. You make me want to be the best I can be. As tough and as strong willed as you are, I wouldn't change a speck of you. You're the sunshine in my world and I will ALWAYS, always love you my little one. :)

the day is done.

Maeve is in her room. Sleeping? Nah. But her bath has been given, stories have been read, she is confined and that makes me pleased. Henry is swinging next to me (fussing) but not to the point where he needs to be bounced around the house (although I'm sure his grunts and little fusses will turn into full out screams very shortly). I am beat. The only reason I'm blogging right now is because Ryan is out shoveling snow and he promised me a back rub. No way am I going to fall asleep without holding him up to that promise. Remember the previous posts about my "wants?" I forgot to mention I also WANT a back rub :)

I just thought since today was such a horrendous day here, I'd end it with this delightful thought that will indeed, leave ME with a smile on my face as I go to sleep tonight.

Tonight in the bath, Maeve and I were talking "names." She enjoys calling people by their first names. She is always calling for "RYYYYYANNN!" And she gets a kick out of calling me "Ash." Tonight we had an interesting conversation about her name:

Me: "What's your name?"

Maeve: "Maeve."

Me: "You're right! What's your middle name?"

Maeve: "Tinkerbell."

Me: "HAHAHAHAHA! Close! It's ANNABELLE."

My sweet, sweet girl :) Even on tough days like today, I wouldn't wish to forget the day ever happened. That would mean I would have to forget the simple, beautiful things, like a bathtub conversation with my little Maeve Tinkerbell :)

My Main Man.

It's been (nicely :) brought to my attention that Henry needs to star in some more posts and pictures. And I completely agree. Here's the sitch; I wear this baby 24/7. Okay, not really 24/7, but he's in my Moby quite a bit. And, like all of us mommas know, babies at this age (10 weeks) are kind of like blobs... CUTE blobs, but blobs. Does that sound mean? I hope not. I adore my blob :) But he's really not doing much of anything... no talking, no temper tantrums, no writing on the walls, no naked streaking (oh wait- he is naked a good amount of time but he does not streak-yet), no climbing on the table and tap dancing, you get the picture. MAEVE is the topic for most of my blog posts because she is what constitutes most of the activity going on around here.

HOWEVER, I love my blobby boy and I want to dedicate this post to him... my main man. :)

Henry Ryan...

-you love baths of any sort.
-you love to hear the water running.
-you love to feel the water on your back.
-showers are your thing (were you a fish in another life?... oh wait... you kind of were a tadpole at one point. :)

-if at any point I can't settle you down (which happens at least once a day) a sink bath or a shower will do the trick.
-you are smiley.
-you love my voice. And I love that.
-you're a tank. And unfortunately you've already earned the nickname "Hank the tank" and even more unfortunate than that, I kind of secretly like it :)
-if you ran this house, every light would be on, water would constantly be running and I'd always be using the blow dryer. You love those sounds and stimulation. Thank God you're not running the house (yet) because our utility bill would be astronomical.

-you wince when you hear Maeve's voice. Not kidding. It's like you KNOW you're about to have your legs pulled, your nukie stolen, your head patted (or hit).
-you're tough. Thank God. You've had your legs pulled, your nukie stolen, your head hit and very rarely cry.
-HOWEVER, you are extremely fussy. You fuss and fuss. and fuss. and fuss.
-you love to be held.
-you don't sleep- except for at night... which I guess is a good thing.
-you are gassy. You could open your own gas station! Poor kid...
-you stinky... you've got a lot of "nooks and crannies" (as Leslie calls them :) and "stuff" likes to get stuck in there. I am constantly digging junk out of your rolls.
-my favorite face you make is your "poop" face. I love it. You work so hard to make those stinky diapers.
-you pee on me at least once a week.
-I think you might be a soccer player- your right leg is ALWAYS kicking. You kick both legs- but you can really get that right foot up there.
-you have HORRIBLE excema (you can thank your dadda for that) It kills me to see it. It looks painful :(
-your cheeks feel like lizard skin... but they're still really kissable. And I kiss them. All day long.
-You have the tiniest butt. It's so disproportionate to your big "tank" body! :)
-you love your carseat. (YEA THANK YOU LORD!)
-you love the Moby.
-you have 3 different cries: 1-hungry cry. 2- annoyed cry (pick me up, change my dipe, etc.) and 3- hurt gassy cry (this is more of a fuss... we're told you have colic)
-you've already had pear and prune juice (because of your gas/pooping issues)
-you prefer the pear
-doc wants you on rice cereal next month. I am in disbelief at where the times gone.
-you have some super sharp nails and I hate trimming them because I always clip them too short.
-your super sharp nails also have super growing powers. They grow faster than weeds.
-your lower back is hairy like a monkey...
-you're such a boy. ;)

Henry I love you. You complete our family (for now ;). You've brought such a new dynamic to this house. You're going to be a great little brother and a terrific son. You've turned me from "anti-boy" into a baby boy loving fanatic! For months I was in disbelief that you were "created" and actually in my belly. Now I couldn't picture it any other way. Even on those days where you just aren't happy my friend, (and trust me- you have THOSE DAYS) I watch you sleeping peacefully next to me and fall even more in love with you. I wish I could trap you in this "baby state" forever... I'm not ready to let you roll or crawl, or walk, or run... I just want to cuddle, and feed you, watch you sleep... my sweet(stinky, hairy, fussy) boy :) I love you to the moon and back- and back again. and back...and back... and back...:)

One (of Many) to Remember.

This conversation was overheard in the bath tonight...

Maeve: "How you doin'?"

Ryan: "Good, how are you doin'?"

Maeve: "Good, I wanna go to Disney World."

Ryan: "Okay, we'll go there."

Maeve: "In TWO MONTHS!"


As you can see, Maeve's been asking to go to "Disney" and our answer every time, is "okay, in two months!" haha :)

Question #4

By Becky Hoard: "So far, what are some of your favorite memories with Maeve? with Henry?"

What a sweet question :) I've spent some time really thinking this one over and you might be bored with my answers (once again... wow- you didn't realize how boring of a person I am, huh???) but really, they're great, precious, once in a lifetime memories/moments.

Maeve:
**Breastfeeding her in the bath. We ALL know my difficulties with breastfeeding and I spent many, many hours in the bath feeding her. (the heat from the bath/shower helps your milk come out better).

**All of our mommy/daughter trips- (Boston, Florida). Of course I love vacaying with Ryan but there was something special about going on trips by myself with Maeve. I KNOW we bonded more on each and every trip- probably because I was her sole provider for that one week or so. We'd sleep in the same bed together and take every bath together. While in Boston, we were sharing a hotel room with my mom, grandma, sister and brother (it was one of those adjoining rooms) and I didn't want Maeve to wake anyone up, so around 6 AM or so, Maeve and I took a stroller walk down the street to "Dunkin Donuts." It was beautiful outside and I felt SO old- walking around the city with my little girl :)

**Halloween '08- when Maeve had Pneumonia- weird that it would be one of my fave. memories and don't be mistaken that I enjoyed Maeve having pneumonia! But I spent literally, an entire night holding her out on the couch. I watched 3 or 4 movies and just held her, watching her- making sure she wasn't too hot and that she was breathing fine, giving her tylenol and motrin around the clock and rocking her when she'd start to cry. Again, it was one of those bonding moments. And I felt so proud to have taken care of her all by myself :)


**nighttime PRE-Henry! :) Throughout my entire pregnancy with Henry, Ryan was in school- meaning, he ALWAYS had homework to do. He'd stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning working on assignments and I got super lonely back in our bedroom by myself! So around 9 or so, (or whenever Maeve was zonked out) he'd bring her in to me and I'd snuggle up with her. Sometimes, she'd stir and wake up and realize she was in our room- she'd put her head on me and I'd tickle her back to sleep. Since Henry is now in our room and he's like a crying time bomb its been too risky to bring Maeve in! I am petrified he'll wake her up and then we'll have TWO wide awake, screaming kids! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Henry:

**Henry's birth: NOTE I didn't say Maeve's birth for one of my fave. moments with her! To be totally honest, Maeve's birth was so horrible and awful, I don't even really remember much of it. BUT Henry's was a different story. Henry's birth was incredible- calm and beautiful. I felt in control and focused. Unfortunately the first few moments of Henry's life on earth were scary but after they got him breathing, I was able to hold him and nurse him- AND I REMEMBER IT! So... this will forever be one of my favorite memories with him!

**nap times (OR LACK OF): Maeve still takes her daily nap, but Henry is sooooo NOT on a schedule that most of the time he is NOT napping during Maeve's nap. This means some one on one Henry/Momma time. Lately we've been doing photo shoots ;) I'm practicing with lighting and different features on my camera. Sometimes we take showers (he loves the sound of running water). And once in awhile (once in a GREAT while) he naps and therefore I nap... :) love that.

**middle of the night feedings: Note again, I didn't say this about Maeve! She was NOT a good breastfeeder and therefore, nursing sessions were tense and stressful. Henry is a great nurser (who actually prefers the boob over the bottle) so those middle of the night feedings (which have already stopped- he's been sleeping through the night now for about 2-3 weeks) are great memories. He'd wake up, I'd flip on "Discovery Health," get Henry latched on, then sit back and enjoy "Trauma Life in the ER" while Henry got his fill :) I'd always have a good story to tell Ryan in the morning... "Hey Ryan! Last night during Henry's 3 AM feeding I saw a man get impaled by a 4x4!" :)



Good question Becky! Follow suit readers!! Tell me some of your fave memories with your kiddos!

And the winner is....

Poster #.....ONE! I used this number picker and #1 was the lucky number! Nicole you will receive an array of random household goodies :) PM me on facebook your address and I'll get it out tomorrow (or maybe Thursday:)

Thank you ALL for each one of your questions- I now have some new inspiration for posts! I am planning on answering each question in a different post- so that's 16 posts :) HOORAY! And don't worry... if you've seen my stockpile, there will be many more give-aways!

For now... here are some "little" things to look at:









It's funny how when you become a mom, these "little things" like your baby's ear, the wrinkles in his fingers or the pout of his lips become the most beautiful things you've ever seen. Every time my babies are sleeping I stare in awe... I am pretty confident its something I will never get over. :)

1 Month OUT!

Prince Henry (as he is called around here) has been out of the womb for 1 month now. UNBELIEVABLE. He still seems so new- but thinking back on the birth, it seems like it was years ago. I specifically remember a moment during the labor that I told Ryan I couldn't do this again- meaning, I never wanted to experience labor pains again!!! Strangely enough, I don't remember the pain and I have already talked about how I want baby #3 to be a Christmas baby :) Don't worry- not a "next-Christmas-baby!" More like in 2 years I'd like to have a Christmas babe! :)

Lets see... here are some of Henry's one month stats:

-cluster feeds like mad. Honestly, all this kid wants to do is eat and sleep. He isn't interested at all in just hanging out. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. He sleeps a lot, which is nice... but at the same time, if he's awake and NOT being nursed he's cranky as heck. We also call him the grumpy old man. :)

-his schedule at night is awwwwwesome. He cluster feeds from around 8-ish to 10 or so, then sleeps until 3 or 4, eats again and then is out until 8 or 9 AM. Yes people, my one month old is sleeping for consistent 5-6 hour stretches. I AM LUCKY!

-he's a chunk A chunk. Although he can still wear newborn dipes, we've run out of them so we moved him right into our stockpile of 1's. They fit and it makes me sad. I already miss those super soft newborn diapers with the umbilical cord cutout. :(

-clothes wise, he swims in 0-3 month Gymboree & Gap stuff, can barely squeeze into Carters newborn and just about every hat I put on him is wayyyy too big- he must have a small head?! My favorite things to dress him in are sweater outfits and cute little cardigan & pants sets. I try and reserve the cutsey animal one-pieces for home :)

-I know I've said it before, but this guy is a total PIGGY. His dream would be for me to walk around with one of those "breastfreind" things with him attached 24/7. Sorry prince, not happening!

-Believe it or not he's rolled a few times... accident? I'm sure. But Ryan likes to think its because he's destined to become a strong football player. (little does Ryan know that my sweet little man will never be knocked around on a football field :)

-Maeve....ohhhhhhhh sigh..... Maeve. My sweet girl. She is having a really rough time with Henry. I am so exhausted with her. I told Ryan last night that I LIVE for her naps. And that makes me sad. :( I feel like everything is a fight and a tantrum. I'm tired of it. I'm sick of chasing her around to change her diaper... peeling her off the floor because I won't give her a candy cane... holding her down with all my might in the grocery cart because she wants to do a flying leap out onto the ground. It's just getting really.really.exhausting. Sometimes I feel like I've lost all control over her- like I went to the hospital for 24 hours, had a baby, came home and lost my relationship with Maeve. Please someone tell me this is normal and it will pass. I am seriously on the verge of a meltdown! I know its only been 1 month and its been a HUGE change for miss Maeve, but my GOSH- this child is screaming for attention and I can only give so much while trying to nurse and care for a newborn. Especially a newborn who likes to nurse all day long.

-okay, back to Mr. Man. He is a poop machine- anyone's babies poop like 30000 times a day??? I guess its a good thing- right? Good bowels? But WOW- we're flying through diapers!

- Henry is a TOTAL mommas boy. It cracks me up because Ryan was soooooooooo excited about having a boy in the house. But ever since Henry came home, I'm the one who spends the bulk of the time with him (again, due to nursing) and Ryan has become best buds with Maeve. It's bittersweet for me- I love their relationship, but again, I feel like Maeve and I have lost a lot of connection. :( Every day I question myself, on whether or not I should keep up with nursing. I feel like its just taking way too much time away from Maeve. Does it get better???? I really don't know which way I should go at this point. I feel like if I switch to bottles, we'd have more of a schedule and I'd be able to have specific times that are ALL Maeve's. Hmmm... who knows. I'm just trying to take it day by day.

- Me, physically speaking, am doing great. Episotomy-shmesiotomy! I have NO pain and haven't had any pain down there for awhile. YEEE-HAAAAAAW! Breast feeding has gone better since I discovered the power of a cabbage leaf! Listen up ladies!! If you get engorged, start to feel icky in the boobs, stick a cabbage leaf in there! Clears everything right up! :) EMOTIONALLY and mentally, I am still kind of in the baby blues. I am back on my normal doses of my meds (lexapro & klonopin) and it feels great :) BUT I am still pretty weepy and can get a tad...ummmm... beeee-yatchy at times. Ryan gets his head bitten off for the tiniest things... poor guy- I keep telling him he can divorce me if he wants :) haha...

-ONE more note- another baby is not on our menu ANY time soon, but we do know we want at least one more (if not two:). So with that said, I have to reveal this revelation that came to me the other day. ME- the girl that was soooo terrified to have a boy, actually said "I think I want the next one to be another boy." I am so in love with this little man.

Here are some pics of the man from today :) ONE MONTH!!!!!! My how quickly they change!

Things To Remember.

I keep meaning to write this post- I didn't keep a baby book with Henry, but instead blogged about my prenatal visits, pregnancy ups & downs, belly pics, etc. I know I already blogged about Henry's birth story, but I didn't add in all the *special* moments, people and memories that I don't ever want to forget. With that said.....

*My awesome nurse Michelle Scott (she's Dr. Scott's wife actually!). She was amazing and truly my lifeline. It's funny that you rely so much on complete strangers during your labor. I probably won't ever see her again, but I'll always have a warm spot for her. She was great :)

*After my water was broken I stood up to go to the bathroom and there was a FLOOD- then in a panic I ran to the bathroom leaving a giant water path in my wake. I was too embarrassed to call the nurse to have her come clean up the giant mess so Ryan got on his hands and knees to clean up the spill. I sat on he bed laughing hysterically (in between contractions of course:)

*Dr. P & the nurse came in to break my water. After he broke it, Michelle asked if I was going to want an epidural anytime soon. Feeling brave and *OKAY* I said "No... not yet." Two seconds after she left the room, I got my first post-water breaking contraction and instantly regretted my response to her question. Next time she was in the room I was BEGGING for an epi!

*The moment I realized that my epidural actually worked this time- PRICELESS! haha :)

*Walking the halls for what seemed like hours (but was really only 45 minutes?) and hearing a girl screeeeaming her lungs out in a room. I started crying and had to go back to our room- I think I was seriously considering boycotting the whole induction and making an escape! :)

*When the nurse came in to check me after I got my epi- I was 7 cm. and she told me that if I feel the urge to push to make sure and let her know. I said okay. She left the room and I felt the urge to push- Ryan ran out and got her, she came back in, checked me, and said "you're ready!" What a great moment!

*When Henry came out and Dr.P put him on me- I thought he was a teeny 6 lbr. again. After they stabilized him and weighed him, they shouted over to me that he was 8.7. Even Dr. P had to say "WHAT??? 8.7??" :)

*While getting stitched up, Michelle lifted up my dang umbilical cord to show it off to everyone in the room. There were "oohs & ahhs" all around- apparently it was a really nice looking cord? :)

*After the whole birth when the nurse pushed on my uterus to get it to contract, urine literally shot out half way across the room. oops:) At this point, I'd lost any modesty so I just had to laugh. I DID say sorry though :)

*The cafeteria was closing at 7 PM and I wouldn't be in my postpartum room until around 7:30-8ish, so they nurses told me to order something because I needed to eat. I really didn't want to eat in the horrid birth room that still had yucky towels and gross stuff all over the place but I was STARVING. So I ordered a yogurt and fruit. Ryan was also pretty hungry (those guys work hard ya know) so he went down to the cafeteria and loaded up a giant plate filled with burritos, cheese, rice and beans. Um. Yuck. Even the nurses were a bit appalled that he was eating that right away... they warned me to not even look at it- I might vomit! :)

*Going to my postpartum room, they asked me if I needed a wheel chair. I felt really good so I said "no." But little did I know my body was still numb from the epi. I had nurses on both sides, completely freaking out about me falling. I kept saying "I feel fine! I just can't feel my right leg- that's why I'm wobbly!"

*My night nurse, Liz- absolutely wonderful :)

*When Dr. VanSchoik came in to get Henry for his circumcision the next morning... I was the one who had just gone through labor AND breastfed a baby through the whole night. But who was the one snoring on the couch??? Yup, Ryan. It actually got so uncomfortable Dr. V had to stop his conversation with me about the circumcision and address Ryan's snoring. I think he said something like "You've gotta give us guys some credit, right?" After the doc left Ryan got a book thrown at him...

*The ridiculous students who were in and out ALL DAY LONG. I know they've got to learn, but WOW. All I wanted to do was sleep and not only were they having to do a bunch of stuff on me, but then they'd sit there and talk about it and take notes. I got annoyed really fast. One time when they knocked on the door, I made it to the bathroom as fast as I could and told them I really needed to take a shower...

*Bonding with Henry over breastfeeding... Maeve didn't breastfeed for a few weeks- so it was amazing for me to have that with him right away.



All in all, it was a great birth experience! I'm sure there were a lot more funny, priceless, memorable moments- but these are ones that stick out that I HAD to write down before they eluded me.