You can call this the bipolar blog. Private, public, private, public... truth is, I like to think that people are reading what I'm writing.
With my blog private, I was maxed at 100 and I've met so many new friends and faces down here in FLO-RID-A that it just makes sense (at the moment ;) to go public.
So hey. How have you been?
Life here has been good. Really, really good.
I'm physically and emotionally in such a great place.
Five pounds away from when I became pregnant with Maeve (YAYYY!) and I have finally found some stability down here with my therapist. (yeah, I said therapist).
I had one in Michigan, and she helped me tremendously in dealing with the loss of our house, some family issues, and of course my ever present anxiety.
Dr. Gomez (my doctor down here in FL) was actually the one who recommended I start writing again about my struggles with anxiety and depression. As I'm often reminded, the medications I'm on are band-aids to a much bigger problem that will truly never go away.
That's not to say the meds I'm on aren't working. They work great, but there is nothing, (unless I were comatose, hooked up to an IV drip of ativan) that would magically take away the never ending, spin cycle of anxious thoughts.
But that's okay. This is my battle. And I am (and have been) stepping up to the plate. It feels good to say that out loud. (or type that out loud...whatever :)
The kids are doing so fabulously down here. We had a minor set back due to Henry's run in with an ant pile and Maeve's jellyfish encounter. But they're generally free spirited little crazies, running around and exploring this giant outdoor place we live in! Maeve's new favorite thing is to collect rollypollies. She'll collect giant cups of them (gross) and try to name each and every one.
Henry is still a hot mess. But I wouldn't have him any other way. He's the kid while at the beach, who will spill coke down his belly, roll in sand and have seagulls nipping at bits of food left in his hair.
Stella is insanely huge. Well to me, anyways. We're coming up on a year and I'm in complete denial. Although I am super excited about her 1 year party theme, if given the option, I'd rewind time and she'd be my 2 day old newborn. :)
On Thursday we're going to look at a house (for rent). I cannot tell you the happiness this brings me. Our condo here has been fine. It's served its purpose; a roof over our heads, a place to come "home" to. But really, we're just not condo people. My kids don't care about the fancy lawn care service our association provides; they trample over the bushes, rip up the sprinklers, and pluck pretty birds of paradise that grow around the building. Our neighbors have expressed their displeasure with us about this.
I'm also really (really) over picking up dog poop. I have three children. Shoot me if I let my dog out the back door, she poops and I don't clean it up within a nanosecond.
And honestly? If I see the man next door doing his morning stretches in his bike shorts in front of our sliding doors, one more time I'm going to vomit.
See? We're not condo people.
I'm hoping we'll have a place that feels more like home by next month.
Lately, we've been spending our nights on Villano Beach. It's been a stormy few days here, which has made for some awesome scenery. Storms over the ocean are about the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Ryan and I hunker down in a lone spot on the beach and let the kids run off their end of the day energy.
It's an amazing time to think. And I've been doing lots of thinking. We shall see what comes of that. For now, I'll leave you with these pictures...
Our perfect stormy nights on Villano.
By the way... blogger has completely changed since the last time I logged on... I can't even find the spell check... so if this is crazy whacked up spelling, forgive me. I'll try and figure it out next time ;)