I just typed up this huge- no wait- GIGANTIC list of "wants." As I was getting ready to post it, I chickened out. It was real. Brutal and honest- a bullet style list of things that have been on my mind lately. And as I read it, I realized that a lot of it was pretty selfish... therefore, I chickened out. :) Instead I'll touch slightly on what's been going on and leave the rest of the brutal honesty for my husband's (and good friends- Jess & Les- ready for Wed????) ears.
Maeve. My precious MaeMae. She's driving me bonkers. If her teeth don't rot out by the age of three I will call it a true miracle. I TRY. TRY. TRY. TRY. to get this kid to eat healthy and brush her teeth. I am failing miserably. Is this normal??? Is it normal for a two year old to suck the toothpaste off her toothbrush instead of actually brushing the teeth? Is it normal to then throw the toothbrush across the room if the parent tries to assist with the brushing? Please tell me.
And then there's the actual source for her teeth rot: Her eating habits. They are atrocious. And I am to blame. I won't even start to try and put the blame on anyone else. I have let her get away with snacking on CRAP for too long and now its truly out of control. All day long its fruit snacks, pringles, goldfish, COOKIES, OMG. I am going to have one of those obese children you see on "Maury!" I TRY and cook her healthy breakfasts, lunches and dinners- but she throws them to the dogs. And to be quite frank, I'm sick of it. I'm to the point where if she is going to choose not to eat the food I serve her, she goes to bed hungry. I WILL NOT have an 80 lb. two year old with rotted teeth ruling this house. NO WAY. Today I made her "PINK PRINCESS" pancakes made out of whole wheat baking mix. She ate them (AHHHHH! :) But within seconds (literally SECONDS) of me taking her out of her high chair she was pounding on the cupboard door, whining for "SNACKS!!!!!!" WTH??? I chose this battle. I let her scream. and scream. and scream. and scream some more. UNTIL I finally called my mom and begged her to come over. Why can I not handle this two year old on my own????
It's because I have an 11 week old baby who screams all day unless he's being held??? Yes. There it is folks. THAT is the reason all order has left my house. I am not blaming Henry for this chaos, but I AM saying that Henry's colic has left me with very little patience for Maeve. It's rough. From the time Henry is up in the mornings to the time I rock him to sleep at night, he is fussing. Yes, we get his smiles here and there and he does take a short nap in the afternoons as long as I'm holding him, but MY GOD we go pretty much all day long with fussing. Therefore, my patience with Maeve has gone out the door. It's not fair- its not fair to Maeve and I realize that. But something's gotta give!
To add a little salsa to my already FIRED UP few days here, I have been biting my tongue to the point of literally biting it off. I AM STILL sitting here trying to hold back my fingers from typing the letters I so desperately want to spell out into words and put into this post... I.CAN'T.STOP.MYSELF. Remember "word vomit?" From that movie, "Mean Girls?" it's kind of like that.... watch out- "SHE'S GONNA BLOW!"
I WANT to move. I WANT to get out of this city. This state. I will be super sad to say goodbye to some great friends here, but for the sake of our family- OUR FAMILY- we NEED out. We're praying Florida is the answer and Ryan gets his much desired job in Jacksonville. Both Ryan and I are in agreement that this move will be what is best for our family. And ultimately, what I WANT, is the best for our family.
So.... there you have it. A condensed, hopefully not as brutally honest post about what I want "these days."
To sum it up in case you last track somewhere in this sordid mess of a post, I want: a healthy, happy, clean toothed two year old... an excema/gassy/colicky-free, smiley faced baby and a move to the sunshine state. Not too much to ask for, right?
-and just for the record- please no comments asking me if "I'm okay?" because I am. It's just been one of those days/weeks/months. A simple "My 2 year old is the same way" kind of a comment will do just fine ;)