Sunday, November 11, 2012

the dream jar

Cheese with a capital "C?" 

Perhaps.  But follow me for a second.

Do you ever think wild, semi-impossible, pipe dreams?

I do.  I totally do.

My husband is a morning person.  He conks out at 8 PM.  This leaves me with loads of alone time.  And it's alright; its a good thing.  Ryan, sleeping next to me, occasionally bear hugging my arm (for real... its super cute, but when I'm typing, its a bit constricting), me, in the dark with my yummy fall candles burning, filling the room with heat and childhood memories of holidays.  My iPhone, which is loaded with (in my opinion) the best play list ever ;)  I relish in these moments of silence... and dreaming. 

I've put a lot of thought into this;  why is it so much easier, natural for me to work and write or edit photos at night?  And I think it's because at night, anything, everything feels possible.  The light from the world outside isn't there to show your flaws or insecurities, your road blocks, the blaring headache of reality. 

In the dark, with the glow of the computer screen, it's just me and endless possibilities.

What seems impossible during the day, suddenly comes to life at night.

It's funny though, as morning slaps me in the face (someday I hope to wake up peacefully, but 6 AM with 3 hyped up kids is a slap in the face kind of a wake up call) everything that was so tangible, and there last night has vanished.  It's been replaced with, well, reality.  The reality that I don't have time to walk around all day taking pictures and creating some great photo journal. And I'm pretty sure I imagined myself on the road with Taylor Swift, as her personal photographer (or cleaning lady..anything, really), hobnobbing with other celebs.  Or that "thing" I've been writing for years now?  Last night, I  was looking at this real, written out book proposal.  This morning it's a pipe dream. 

So here's where the cheese with a capitol "C" comes in:

This morning we took a quick trip to the beach.  It's 80 and sunny.  It would be a travesty to not see the ocean today.

I walked alone, as I often do when its time for some serious shelling.  Along the way I found some pretty sweet shells, and of course did that awesome beach combing thinking thing.  It's fabulous.  You don't have to look where you're going.  You can literally just place one foot in front of the other, and be completely immersed in your thoughts without fear of falling or bumping into anything.

So anyways, I'm walking and it hits me;  pipe dreams... dreams in general, they suck.  It's like wanting the juiciest apple perched at the top of the tree; its there for the taking and within reach if you're ready to work for it.  However, we (or me at least) are standing there, staring at it, drooling over it, envisioning its taste, doing nothing but watching and waiting for it to fall at our feet.

My night dreaming feels so legitimate.  And somehow, within just a few hours, and the rising of the sun, it all vanishes.  So at the beach this morning, I scooped up some sand (along with all the beautiful shells I found ;). 

I brought it home, stuck it in a mason jar and mixed in some glitter. 








Then I wrote carefully, on folded pieces of card stock the most wildest, uninhibited dreams you could imagine, and I stuck those in there too.

Then I shook it all up.

This is my dream jar.


And it shall now take its place on my nightstand.  And I intend to shake the heck out of it

And now friends... if you really wanted to make my day... leave me a comment; let yourself go for a minute and dream up something .  Do you want to move to Montana and be a horse rancher?  Dream it.  Do you want to marry Taylor Lautner (Emily Ladwig...)  Dream it.  Do you want to sing on broadway?  Dream the heck out of it.

As my favorite singer/song writer says, "Don't let your dreams be dreams." (Jack Johnson)

PS.... if you should leave a comment, you may, just may... find yourself with a dream jar, full of St. Augustine beach sand and glitter... ready for your own dreams to be slipped in and shaken up.
  (HINT HINT... leave a dang comment)


And last but not least:  Day 11:  Today I am thankful that I live in a country where I can dream.  Thank you veterans!!  Thank you doesn't feel significant enough, but still... a sincere and humble thank you for what you've done.  You've given us the freedom to live and dream.  :)



Foxy said...

I dream of owning a piece of land on a mountain top and just LIVING every day.

ps: I love your blog! I'm glad I found it via nablopomo!

Jenih85 said...

I want to live in Paris for a year. Wanted to since high school. I will someday!!

Your blog is so open and honest! I love it!

Termione said...

A year living abroad. A book. Another child.

The Gray Family said...

I want to live like i'm dying...(oh country music)

I dream of having a child
I dream of visiting every continent
I dream of being stress/anxiety free
I dream of looking like Jessica Simpson
I dream of having an entire room be my barbie playhouse
I dream of seeing the world from a hot air balloon
I dream of shaking an American President's hand
I dream of working for an American President
I dream of every lost sheltered animal will be adopted

just a few of my dreams...for now...

Rachel said...

I dream of living in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, with cats, and bunnies, and maybe a horse, where I eat food from my little garden out back, and walk barefoot through the grass in a flowing white dress with flowers in my hair and sunlight on my cheeks. Where money doesn't matter, and there is no debt, no bills, just clean air and sky. Where my only obligations are dreaming, and reading, and creating art. Where I sleep under an endless blanket of stars, and drown in the hugeness of the universe and the tinyness of myself. Also, Ryan Gosling is there.

Elizabeth said...

Oh Ashley, what a great idea! My dream?....being a writer (the kind that actually gets paid for it) and staying home while Abby saunters off to school, to work in my writing room and wear comfy clothes. In my spare time I would spin yarn and knit all sorts of beautiful creations. :-)

Elizabeth said...

Oh, and one one more...I want to sing in a Tinker Bell movie, you of those opening flying sequence songs? I think that would be awesome.

Tamara Tipton said...

Moving to Montana sounds wonderful. I wouldn't need to "raise" anything (although a horse or 2 would be great) but just Be. Be surrounded by all that wild beauty.
Getting paid to share my thoughts would be good.
Losing weight and never gaining it back.
Opening a cat sanctuary for abandoned or feral cats. A place of safety where they can just be cats.
My biggest dream is to see my husband pain free. He has been dealing with chronic pain most of his adult life. I would love to see who he would be without it. I know he would be amazing.

Yeah, if I don't get that jar I may have to make myself one. It's a pretty awesome idea. thanks

Manda said...

I dream of living without anxiety. In a house big enough for my kids that I am proud to have people over too. It sounds so small but not having to stress about every penny, that's enough for me.

Pride In Photos said...

Can I tell you how MUCH I enjoy this blog post?!!!! I live by the beach and I can't believe I didn't think to make a sand jar for my dreams. Way to go girlfriend! I will be doing this after the holidays. I tried to follow you but you don't have email or rss feed follows? Would love for you to join me making new friends.

Amber said...

Rachel, you totally stole my dreams. Ryan and all.

Another baby, quitting my day job, self-employment, living on the lake shore.

Manda said...

Oh yes and Ashley I also dream about Damon Salvatore (yeah I know that is not his real name, lol) and Josh Duhamel. :) Yum!

My crazy life with kids said...

I dream of having a career, doing I something I love and to be happy going there. It wouldn't hurt if Ryan G. Was a coworker, nothing like some eye candy ;)

Monica LaBord said...

My dreams.... Hmmmm my favorite dream would have to be owning the cutest bed & breakfast in the mountains that sat on a massive amount of land. It would be super country chic. I would of course have an amazing garden and cute little chicken running around that would have names like "trudy" "sadie" or. "lord Byron". I would cook most of the food with whatever I grew or raised myself. Anyway... I could go on forever but I would rather put it in a super cool dream jar {hint hint ;) }

Jessy Schoch said...

I'm such a dreamer too!! I have so many big dreams and ideas, and I usually do my dreaming late at night while the house is quiet as well!!

I dream of my kids living a long, happy, healthy life.
I dream of a cure for Type 1 Diabetes, so Olivia can know what it's like to live without this disease.
I dream of being a successful newborn photographer, so I can snuggle newborns all the time and provide extras for my kids.
I dream of a big house on the lake for my kids to have amazing summers on.
I dream of taking my kids to see the world.
I dream about being the best mother possible for them.
I dream that husband can do what he loves for a living and not what he has to do to provide.
I dream of amazing health insurance.
I dream of losing 15 pounds.
I dream of having time to do things like yoga and pilates.
I dream of making a difference in someones life.
I dream of finding the perfect balance in life and not feeling guilty for everything.
I dream of adopting a baby.

And much more of course!!

I also can say so many dreams have come true, and I'm sure you can say the same :)

Tamara Tipton said...

Manda, there is nothing small about that dream. It's beautiful.

Tamara Tipton said...

I wrote a post about dreaming. Since you started my journey, I linked this post to it. :)