Tuesday, November 27, 2012

feeling merry.

Before I get to the "merry" part of this post, I do have this one deep thought for the night that I was going to hold off on blogging about, but well.. I suffer from blog vomit.  We all know that.

Peaceful parenting.  I aim for it every single day.  Instead of the knee jerk response of yelling something like "Why did you do that?"  I try to "peacefully" talk to the kids.  With the grace of God only- I manage to achieve this most of the time.  Today though... my gosh.  It was like a bomb.  Long story short, I had no patience with my kids today, leaving me feeling like the worst mother ever.  That inner voice that loves to cut and criticize was in full force. And when Ryan got home I was literally crying, while peeling potatoes for dinner.  He relieved me from potato peeling duties and I was able to lie down and just BE STILL for a bit.  A few hours later... yes, I'm still frustrated with myself for yelling...shooing  Henry away or telling Maeve to turn her music off "because I can't stand that stupid mouse song one more time."  Hindsight is 20/20 and its impossible for me not to sit here and think of Maeve twirling in her tutu to the music, and being crushed when not only A.) I wasn't paying attention to her but B.) I also told her to stop.  Ugh.  Crappy feeling for sure.  BUT- deep thought- here it comes.  I am human, right?  We all are.  Parenting feels like this golden thing- untouchable- you just can't afford to "mess it up."  There aren't any do-overs or try agains... its a one shot deal.  But I have to- YOU have to- WE ALL HAVE to accept that there are going to be some really hard, crappy days. And the race isn't won in a day.  This is just me venting- so ignore and read on if you're tired of hearing it- but the anxiety, standards and pressure we put on ourselves as moms has to be relinquished a bit.  So yeah.  Today I wasn't the best parent.  But that doesn't mean that tomorrow I won't be.   Stay in the race mamas.  Even when the bad days out number the good... keep running.  We'll all get there. 

  Deep breath.

And moving on...

Over the long weekend the kids and I visited a local shell shop.  We have about 4000 around here and yet this was my 2nd visit to one.  I know the sea holds incredible things, but walking around looking and feeling the hundreds of different shells, well, it was pretty cool. 

Maeve and Henry each picked out a few they liked and me, being the shell-addict I am, loaded my basket up.  To say the least, I'm buried in shells.  :)  But its a good thing ;)

Today with a few crafting items, I made a "barbie" starfish (that's what Maeve calls it).  It's really a dyed (and dried out) hot pink finger starfish (that means the legs of it are smooth- not bumpy says the shell dork named Ashley).  I attached some twine and declared it a Christmas ornament. 

And I'm feeling really merry tonight.  Cheerful, in fact.  :)  So..... along with listing it on my etsy site (available in a 3 pack ;) at Stella Says Smile I'm also going to give one of our pink barbie stars away on here, Little (mrs) Sunshine.   I think most of my "readers"are from the north- meaning Michigan-Jackson to be exact... ;)  and the thought of sending some bright, beachy things up there gives my heart a good feeling.   And hanging it on your tree, knowing it came from the sunshine state should put some cheer on that tree of yours ;)
So, just leave a comment & follow my blog :) Easy peasy.
Comment criteria:
Tell me....  is your dream Christmas in the sandy tropics or in the snowy tundra?  :)
xoxo- thanks for reading.  I'll do the random # generator thing on Friday :) 


Melissa said...

I've gotta have a white Christmas!

And, I just want to thank you for being so honest about parenting on your blog. I was feeling really crappy tonight because I snapped at Kenzie while making dinner. Girlfriend wouldn't stop whining and momma can only chop fruit up so fast without losing a finger! Anyways, it's nice to know I'm not the only imperfect parent out there and that we all lose it every once in a while. And that's ok! Great advice about keeping in the race! Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

Ashley McKenney said...

Thank you xoxo

My crazy life with kids said...

White for sure, sand a day later would be nice but a blanket of snow the day of is a must!!!

LittleMomma0928 said...

White Christmas! But wouldn't mind trying out a warm Mtropical Christmas some day :) We are going to Florida in June and would love for you to take Pailyn's 1 year pictures on the beach. I'll let you know when we set a date :) hope your Christmas is very merry!

Tara said...

I love reading your blog. It's always calming to know that everyone has bad parenting moments. I don't know how you do it with 3! And homeschooling one! I'm impressed.

I definitely love snow at Christmas. It just feels cozy.

Ashley McKenney said...

That would be awesome! Are you coming to the st.auggy area?

Monica LaBord said...

Great post! Your honesty is so inspiring!
Also....totally dreaming of a white Christmas since im in south Carolina!! :)

Ashley McKenney said...

Thanks sweets xoxo

Tamara Tipton said...

Can I just say that I think you are awesome? And also I think God is using you to deal with me about my dreams. Seriously. But that's another story (one I would love to tell you sometimes).

My dream Christmas? Someplace with snow and no needs that require leaving the house, with all my family gathered around. That's it. :-)

LittleMomma0928 said...

Not sure exactly where, but we have family in Jupiter. We could swing in by St. Augustine on the way home (we will probably drive) so I will let you know :)