Friday, June 29, 2012

Jesus and A Chicken Carcass

Last night was a night to be remembered, that's for sure.

We had chicken pesto pizza for dinner(fab recipe- ask me if you want it).  I was lazy and used a rotissire chicken, not thinking twice about throwing it in the trash after  scraping off all the meat.

Dinner was great, we had froyo, blah, blah, blah.  Fast forward to 2 AM this morning.

We heard what could best be described as a disturbance out in the living room.  I knew it was either the cat...or the dog.  One of the two, doing God knows what.  Ryan is working 10 hour days for the next week, so I dragged myself out of bed to assess the situation.  (note; if I wasn't positive it was the dog and/or cat, I would have had Ryan out of bed and in the living room with a baseball bat..:)

Our living room had been turned into complete carnage.  Like we're living in a flipping barn or something.  Garbage was EVERYWHERE.  Forks (the dang cat) and Lola (y'all know who she is) were in the middle of it, happilly picking their way through the paper products, sniffing to the good stuff.

In a sleepy haze, I began picking up what I could with bare hands, cursing in nonsensical strings about my life with the dog and cat. 

That's when I happened upon the empty bag that had once, contained the chicken carcass.  That's when I noticed;  I had bones- stinky, slimy chicken bones and parts all over my house. 

After gathering the bones I could find, I noticed the main body part of the chicken (whatever you want to call it, the torso?) was missing.    And thus began then 2 AM chicken carcass hunt.  It obviously had to be somewhere, right? 

Let me tell you;  I have SCOURED this apartment.  It is nowhere.  I've looked under couches, cribs, beds, in cabinets; seriously- you name it, I've looked.  This leads me to one conclusion.  The bulk of the carcass was eaten by Lola. 

Fab.  I'm waiting for Lola to start showing signs of distress, at which point, we'll bring her into the vet and have it confirmed that she's got tiny chicken bones that won't digest.

 I swear.  There is never, ever a dull moment in this house.  Even at 2 AM.

....side note... as I am writing this post, I'm watching Forks (the cat) drink out of the fishbowl as he studies the beta's movements.  It's kind of cute; like something you'd see in the movies... but this poor fish's days are numbered...


Anyways back to the carcass.  It's gone folks.  GONE.  My flipping dog ate it.  And I've already told Ryan if the vet bill is over 50, Lola's in some bad luck. 

I thought I was being quiet as I picked up the trash, but apparently not.  As I was getting ready to wash up and return to bed, Maeve stumbled out of her room, sleepy eyed and talking a mile a minute about a bad dream she had.

"There was a brown monster with eyes like E.T. and I saw'd it.  It was under my covers and it wanted to sit on my legs!"

My first thought was: Lola.  She's a dead ringer for E.T. 

Instead I started mumbling about how if Jesus is in your heart, there's nothing to be afraid of.... I took her back in her room, showed her the cross on her wall, and explained that she had angels standing guard. 

She's in VBS camp this week, so she's been full of awesome stories about Jesus's love for us and how we need to trust in Him.  So I'm not sure where this next part came from, but as I rambled on about having Jesus in her heart, she piped up, full of enthusiasm, "And I saw him in my window!"

"You saw who in your window...?"

"Jesus!"

Maybe if I hadn't just gone on a carcass hunt at 2 in the morning, I'd have something more profound to think about or say, because I truly believe that angels are standing guard over my children and this house, and I most definitely believe that Jesus could come to Maeve or anyone else, but at this point all that ran through my head was:  Elizabeth Smart... that prophet guy who dressed like Jesus...kidnapping... etc. 

So I just said, "um Maeve, why don't you come and spend the rest of the night in our room?"

I double checked the locks, tucked Maeve in our bed, gave Lola one more dirty look and at last, fell back asleep. 

I'm on my third cup of coffee.  Cheers to the chaos, right?!


Happy Friday :)

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1 comment:

Leslie Collins said...

Oh, Miss Lola.....

I can just see her doing this!

Did you guys sleep better the rest of the night? Hope so.