Literally. It's heavy.
I had my appointment with my nutrition revolution lady today. I've done some major, MAJOR damage to my body in the past (thanks to that fab little ED I used to have). I've been told by every doc under the sun that I've messed up my metabolism- its no surprise. But I kind of got hit hard today.
I was excited to get my shake... and tea and aloe. And even more excited to see how I can lose these last 10 lbs. I got hooked up to the little machine and I noticed the lady eyeballing me.
"Ummm... have you ever had some eating issues?"
"Kind of, why?"
"You have no metabolism."
Yes, I was told at the ripe age of 26, that I have no metabolism- or rather that it was, "shot." In order for me to lose weight, I need to restrict to 900 calories a day. HA! (I TOLD YOU SARAH COLE!!!!)
The GOOD news, is that I am a mere 7 lbs away from my ideal weight. I was shooting for 10 lbs.. (and I still am) but apparently that little machine thinks I only need to lose 7- that's nothing, right? :)
The lady (forgive me, I forgot her name) wrote down all my numbers and then crossed out the calories. She said, "I don't want you to ever, EVER go below 1200 calories- got it?"
I said "yeah" and started to tear up... (rough day around here I guess) Those years of my stupid, STUPID eating habits flashed through my head. It's kind of unbelievable how much damage you can do in such little time. I've been alive for 26 years, was "unhealthy" for 2 of those years and I'm still paying the price for it.
I think why its hitting me hard now, is that I have these two, amazing children, that I want to be healthy and happy for. I want two (maybe 3?:) more children, that I need to be healthy and happy for. I can't afford to do any more damage.
Anyways, she circled my protein numbers- "70-99" and told me to focus on those.
The super nice lady gave me a great meal plan and a nice pep talk. The difference with this meal plan versus any other meal plan any other nutritionist or therapist has tried to put me on, is that its not focused at ALL on my calories. and I LOVE THAT. LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT.
Today is one of those days that my head (or my brain I should say) has been too engaged. I need to turn it off for a bit. Thank God its the kids' nap time... I need a good rest.