Thursday, October 14, 2010

grasping for straws.... or shots of aloe.

Henry is a mere ONE month (well 5 weeks) away from being ONE YEAR OLD.

I am in disbelief- I could've sworn he was just that turkey baking in my belly...

Anyhow, more sap to come with Henry's turning one- but I figured I'd spare you all and save it for his birthday post. :)

The reason for this post, is because yeah, Henry's a year out but my body doesn't know that yet- I guess. I don't really know how else to explain it.

YES, YES, YES I have lost weight since Henry- good LORD, how could I not??? The kid himself was almost 9 lbs... tack on the fluids, placenta and uterus (I didn't lose the actual organ, it just shrunk back to normal...) I almost instantly lost about 20 lbs.

I came home from the hospital feeling optimistic. I had gained an insane amount of weight during the pregnancy. I mean really, it would sicken Ronald McDonald. The food- the vast amount of food that I ate while preggo with that turkey was out of this world. I think he's just one big giant ball of muscle that requires fuel 24/7... Yes, all pregnant women have their cravings and could probably win any food eating contest, but really- I was out of control with Henry. I remember going into my doc. and having them tell me "Now Ashley, are you limiting your sweets?" And me exclaiming "Pssssh! OF COURSE!" as I'm stuffing my king sized "Reese's Peanut Butter Cups" deeper into my purse, while drooling over dipping them in ice cream later on.... haaaaaaaaaa!

Lets fast forward to present day. I have a stingy 10 lbs that I cannot, for the life of me, get off. I think they're stuck there- like a mommy tattoo or something. (although I was told my lovely STRETCH marks were a mommy tattoo...) Really though- its around my midsection- 10 lbs all crammed in there, giving the appearance that I am always with child. (I AM NOT).

So... with some trips coming up, and of course, Henry's one year birthday, I am getting a tad desperate to get this weight off.

I was given a card for a free shake, tea and shot of aloe at "Nutrition Revolution" - and I thought "WHY NOT?"

I stopped in there yesterday, ordered my shake, got my hot tea and did my shot of aloe. I felt super healthy of course :) UNTIL... the lady and I were talking about what exactly I wanted to accomplish. I said, "I need to lose 10 pounds asap." She laughed and said, "Oh, well ok, next time don't order the peanut butter nut shake. That's our highest calorie shake." Go figure.

I stopped back in today for my afternoon shake (tea & aloe) and there was a class going on. It takes about 5 minutes or so to get the shake made; the kids were out in the car- parked RIGHT in front of the wide open windows- yes people I could see them- and as the lady went to make my shake I couldn't help but listen to this meeting that was taking place, directly to my left.

There were about 6 or 7 women all listening intently to this super skinny old lady. The schpeel was about some cleanse. I opened my ears... I've always been interested in a cleanse. The lady talked about how you can have gunk backed up in you for years (gross). Then she started telling "inspirational stories" (yes, this is what she called them). The first story was that a man came in and told her that he had a very colorful bowel movement. (WTH?) The lady went on about how it was purple, blue, orange, etc. (I mean really, I'm thinking WTH is this place that I'm in right now????) THEN she said that the man went home, had another colorful bowel movement, showed his mother, (yeah, now I'm thinking WTF) and his mom exclaimed, "OH! When you were a kid, you ate a pack of crayons!" THIS IS NO JOKE PEOPLE!

I was sweating bullets- I needed out of that place asap. TOO MUCH INFO- even for me- who likes a lot of info.

I grabbed my shake and tea, vowed never to do a cleanse and hopped back in my car.

I haven't been able to shake the image of a "colorful bowel movement" out of my head.

But since I'm at the point here, where I am grasping for straws... I am kind of willing to keep on with the shake/tea thing. You're supposed to drink two shakes a day, but I don't have that kind of moolah. So I'm doing steel cut oats in the morning, a shake at lunch, tea, midday and a normal dinner. So far, I've gained 3 lbs.

I will continue to update you all... because I'm sure you're all dying to know how much weight I can lose.

happy thurrrrrsday!

1 comment:

Celeste said...

Here's some encouragement sent your way - I feel the same way! I've got this weight in my tummy and my FACE (like grandma could squeeze my cheeks) that won't go away! Been trying the vegan thing for 2 weeks to no avail...figure I'll give it a month! Don't give up!