Monday, June 14, 2010

How Did We Get Here?

Maeve had her stage debut on Sunday. I am really, REALLY not a stage mom. Maeve's hair was not perfect- I didn't even do her make-up- Emily did. I don't really care that there were dirt stains on her tights- in fact, I thought it added character. BUT was I ever nervous when the lights came on and there stood Maeve, ON THE STAGE. And me, sitting in the audience, holding her little brother and squeezing onto Ryan's hand... watching and wondering,

It feels like it was yesterday I was pregnant with her. I remember the ultrasound so vividly- being told it was a girl, and being in disbelief. Maeve brought her arms over her head a few times and we joked that she was going to "be a ballerina."

Flash forward almost *THREE* years. WOW. Here I am, watching in real time- my daughter (who at one time was only a ballerina in my belly :) twirl on stage. It was really emotional for some reason. I watch her every week in class, and I've memorized her music. We sing "On My Tiny Toes" and "Jammin To Bed" every single day. And I clap as she does her dances on the coffee table. But here she was- in her costume, hair up, make up on, looking WAY TOO OLD, and doing her dance ON STAGE. It was a moment :)

She did great. And I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom... every little kid out there was adorable but really, Maeve knew her WHOLE dance :) She is the youngest in the class- the only one who's not potty trained- yet she stood on her spot and did every step :)

Now, let me make it perfectly clear that Maeve could have gotten up there and sat in a heap and I would've loved her stage debut. It just fascinates (and terrifies) me with how quickly time goes.

I wish I had a video to share... but video taping was banned and that would've been super embarrassing to have been yelled at. You'd think I would have some pictures. I don't have one. As I type this I am feeling super shamed to admit that on Sunday I was too busy selling flowers to take any pics. BUT- Suzie has promised me she has (at least :) 50 pictures of MaeMae alone :)

After the recital, I did NOT give her flowers (in fact- I don't want to see a cut flower for another year!) we gave her a little stuffed kitty (to replace the one she lost the night before...ehhhh) & a giant sucker. She had no clue why she was getting a present- even though we told her she was a star & did wonderfully.

When we got home she didn't want to take her costume off- she didn't want it to end! :) How sweet. Unfortunately we were eating spaghetti- and a $75.00 white costume + spaghetti sauce is not going to happen. We convinced her to eat... but within a few minutes of climbing into her high chair she was zonked.

I gave her a bath and tried to wash the hairspray and make up off. She HAD to sleep with her kitty and her lion (my mom gave her a stuffed lion to represent "The Lion King."). She fell asleep around 7 and didn't wake up until 8 this morning. The first thing she asked was "Remember the big show?"

Ahhhhh my little MaeMae... I am so proud. And so panicked. Time is going too quickly. My camera, my memory, my eyes can't keep up with it. If I had a nickel for every time I have told Ryan "I wish we could FREEZE TIME" we'd have a million bucks. Is that strange to not want your child to grow up? I know as moms, we all say how fast time goes and how big the kids are getting, etc. But really- I don't want my kids to grow up. I don't care that I'd be changing diapers forever. Or spoon feeding Henry and getting spit up on. Tantrums-shnantrums. I don't care. I want to trap them here in this moment forever. I'll take no sleep, food throwing, poopy diapers and whining over boyfriends, cars and college any day.

I could probably go on all night... but my goal isn't to make you want to go sleep with your babies... or staple them to the ground :) I'm just letting you all know that we had a big milestone here... in this house anyway :) And another milestone means another step.

I'll leave you with these pics :) And I'll be sure to post actual recital pics as soon as I get them :)


Leslie Collins said...

i had a huge lump in my throat while reading this post. it's soo sad how time goes by. i would love to freeze my babes, too. she looks so adorable in her costume. cannot wait to see pic's of the actual show.

Angie B said...

ya me too...sad, ihave cried about it before..drew growing up...but i am glad maeve was great!

jennifer said...

Maeve was awesome in the show!

I understand every emotion you talked about... had them all myself this weekend. What did me in was Sunday's finale... watching Kait and Lindsay holding hands and doing the dance together, one at the beginning of her journey here and the other beginning her journey elsewhere.

Time goes too fast. I am so excited for the next chapter... but that doesn't make it any easier to see this one coming to a close.

Aw geez... I think I dumped all over what you were saying. Just know that I completely understand- and Maeve is amazing and so blessed to have a mama like you!

Manda said...

Ashley I totally understand. I feel pretty much the same way every year as I watch Molly. (There is something about that ballet bun and makeup I think!) that makes them look to grown up. ;) Seriously though, I look at Molly and wonder what happened to the chubby cheeked little girl I took into ballet for the first time 6 years ago. The one who yelled out all the steps as she did them on the stage. :) Let alone wondering about the baby who turned so much I needed two ultrasounds that we used to call the "bellyrina". Time does fly, but I try to enjoy it as much as I can in the moment.

The Paulk's said...

Yes, I completly know where you are coming from! Cannot believe they are growing up so quickly! I think I'm going to put Ri in ballet this the cute outfits and makeup :).