Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Hard days & Harder nights.

It has been rough around here lately! Maeve is not just A handful- she is TWO handfuls. I can't look down for a minute (just to be clear I am looking down right now as I type this- but she is "napping.") without pure destruction or chaos happening. It's making me incredibly nervous to add a second one into the mix. Here are a few issues we've been having lately. ANY HELP WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!

-throwing her food on the floor (a HUGE ONE!)

-not saying please or thank you (although she CLEARLY can- the girl says "octopus" and she says please occasionally- but it has to be on her own terms- if you ASK her to say please or thank you she will NOT DO IT.)

-hitting, kicking, slapping, grabbing, etc.

-complete defiance- for example- she will go to her book shelf and just start pulling piles of books out. When I say "Maeve no- one at a time" she briefly stops- looks at me and then continues with the madness.

-I've been trying time outs as a form of discipline- (I don't want to yell or grab or smack her- out of fear it will condone that behavior even more) so I try to keep my voice really calm but firm and then sticking her in her high chair, wheeling it into the middle of the kitchen and then leaving her there for a minute or two. She thinks its a game. WTH?

-everything- and I MEAN EVERYTHING is a battle. From bath time, to bed time, changing her diapers, getting her dressed, brushing her hair- its all a fight. She screams, throws tantrums....

Well i think that about sums up our issues- any ideas??? :)

Also- I took her into the doc. yesterday afternoon because she's been waking up in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep unless she's in our bed and she's had a dose of motrin. Why motrin you ask? Because she isn't just up for 10-15 minutes- she is up for on average, 2-3 HOURS. And finally after exhausting every effort to get her to go back to sleep, we try motrin, thinking she might have an ear ache or headache, or something physically wrong that is preventing her from sleeping. Good news & bad news I guess at the doc- good news- she is fine- bad news- there is NOTHING we can do at this point to help her sleep better. We just have to bite the bullet and know that 2-3 hours out of most nights (about 5 nights a week) one of us will be up with her. BLAAAAAH. THIS IS HARD!!!!

Oh- something else I've been meaning to ask/update with is about this BRUISE on Maeve. It's a disappearing bruise- its there one day and gone the next- always in the same spot (the small of her back) and we've noticed this bruise for about a year now- YES, A YEAR. I had taken her in for it around November or so, was told that it was fine- no big deal and it looked like it was healing. (I wanted to say, "yes doctor the problem is it heals and then comes right back- in the SAME EXACT spot!) To say the least its freaking me out! So yesterday when I took Maeve in to get her ears checked I also asked about the bruise. I reminded Dr. Williams that I had asked her about this months ago and that's how long it has been an issue. She told me that they usually worry about a bruise that won't heal- so since her's heals and then comes back, she must be getting a new bruise every few days. My question is "HOW???????????" I've checked everything she sits in on a regular basis- her high chair, stroller, carseat- there is nothing that is sticking out that could cause a bruise. I KNOW for a fact she does not fall on her back every few days! So WHAT is causing this??? Anyone have any ideas on this??? It's not a big bruise- its about the size of a dime... and its always a browny-yellow color. Strange huh?


Jessica Perry said...

I am having so many of the same issues with Jordan that you are Maeve. It must be the age? The biggest issue I'm having is him throwing everything he gets his hands on. I've had fat lips and bruises to attest to this. It doesn't matter how many times we get upset and tell him no or even spank his little bottom (yes, we started spanking), he usually just laughs and does it again. Ahhh! He's also biting, which he thinks is some sort of game. And he's very defiant in the same ways you say Maeve is. If I tell him no, he just throws, kicks, or hits more. Ahhh! I, too, am so nervous about having another one in the house because Jordan is so demanding and challenging right now! So, no, I have no advice for you because I'm in the same boat. I was starting to think I had the only difficult toddler right now! Good to hear other moms are trying to figure this whole toddler thing out too!

Becky said...

Kerith does some of these same things and I think it is their age. She has been crying every night for the past few weeks, and crawling out of her crib, because she wants us to rock her or she wants to sleep in our's been SO frustrating! It took me over two hours the other night, just to get her to stay in her bed. So...I dont really have a ton advice either because Kerith is being SOO difficult. Even today at Target, she threw herself on the I think more of this is to come.

With the please and thank you...Kerith is really good at this. All we did was keep asking her to say it and we would NOT give her anything until she said it. She never fought it in the beginning, it was just some new words and she would say them but when she gets mad or in a bratty mood (like today)...she told me to give her something and I did not do it until she said please...she didnt say please so she didnt get it. We are just super consistent with it and have both sets of parents do the same thing so that she's getting it everywhere she goes. Just an idea.

Hmm...that's all I really have. Kerith is having a hard time listening...she used to listen so well but recently, she refuses and runs in the other direction. We also have tried spanking, taking things away etc...and sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't....sorry I don't have more advice!!

The Paulk's said...

I completely agree with Becky on this, which is what I was going to advise. I think being consistent is key. Riley is really good when it comes to being physical--she's never hit, slapped, bit, etc. but she always runs off when we out in public. I think they get so overstimulated they juts want to run to see what's coming next.

As far as saying please and thank you, I do what Becky does. If she doesn't say it she doesn't get what she wants--no matter what. Once she says it she gets rewarded with whatever it was that she wanted.

We will spank, but it's last resort. Time-outs work like a charm. I think what works for us is we use the same place in the house everytime and she never moves from her "spot". It's back in the hallway corner, away from everyone and everything going on. So she feels left out and doesn't want to be back there...

The whole sleeping thing, honestly, if she's still in her crib let her cry (she can't get out anyways:)). She'll get the point. She's at the age, in my opinion, where she knows exactly what she's doing. You're going to need the sleep with that baby boy gets here, and you won't want to have to deal with Maeve waking up all the time too. I'd say let her cry herself to sleep (of course as long as you know she doesn't need something). Just my 2 cents...HTH

Ashley said...

ahhh thanks everyone! I have to admit- that in public I give in to Maeve because I'd rather avoid the embarassing scene- but now its biting me in the butt b/c she is being so naughty and there is no control over her!!! It's also good to hear other 2 year olds are acting the same way!!! :)

Kase and Jules said...

Griff is just beginning with some mild tantrums but nothing crazy yet. He has never thrown food on the floor and he says "thanks, you're welcome" to everything we do. He says them both together like that alllllll the time. He really is a a good kid but I am SURE the terrible 2's are on their way!