Monday, June 9, 2008

Anxiety's a Beeetch. But I've kicked its butt... for now.

Not that you really care to read this, but I am in the process of weaning off my anxiety meds. What started my anxiety you ask? I really have no clue. I started getting some butt kicking panic attacks a few years ago, but they were few and far between... no biggie, they just sucked when they happened. Like lots of people, I have this fear of losing control. Sometimes it can be over really stupid things like not having control over where we go to dinner (seriously that can trigger my anxiety) and sometimes its really huge stuff, like well, going through a pregnancy and birth! That was by far, the most challenging thing I've ever done. I had to put myself completely in the hands of doctors and God, of course. I had to have faith and put trust in someone other than myself... and that was SO hard. Anyways, after I gave birth to my beauty, my anxiety got completely out of control. It was this entire entity of its own. I had multiple panic attacks a day. I was freaking out over every little thing- (oh yeah those of you who don't know me well I am a GERMAPHOBE. I wash my hands constantly and sanitize any and every surface that food comes in contact with.) After my umpteenth time to the ER, the docs. decided I needed to go on some sort of controller medication. So began my journey into the world of mood altering drugs... I have tried SO many different medications, some have worked, some haven't. I have had the most bizarre side effects from them- night terrors, weight gain, headaches, tummy aches, sleepiness... Its been rough! Well I just had to announce that I am weaning off my anxiety meds!!! I am SO excited! My doctor and I both feel like I can do this without medication and I am pumped. Just wanted to share :)

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