YO HO YO HO! a "private" life for me!

Sooooo lots of peeps have been asking "why private again?" 

No- nothing bad happened!  I remember at one point a bunch of blogs were going private because of some horrible child predator thing... it's NOTHING like that!

Awhile ago (and I mean A LONG.  LONG.  LONG, ancient time ago)  I was talking with Les about the blog.  I was venting to her about how I missed writing in my usual blunt way.  With the blog being public, and me trying to use it as a photography marketing tool, it didn't seem like a good idea that a client could look at some pictures and then read about my hemorrhoids... ya know?

I'm the type of gal that likes to tell it like it is.  And I felt like with the blog being open to the whole public, I had to sugar coat everything.  Like instead of telling a story about my dog making a bathroom mess all over the house, I can come right out and say there were giant piles of globby poop... of course the poop couldn't be solid- that would be too easy to pick up- she had to have diarrhea...ugh.  (true story.  happened last night)

So anyways, I feel good about being able to "talk" like myself again.

I'm going to get right into things by telling you about my 6 week post partum visit.  I had a few people message me and ask what happened that made me so upset at said appointment.  And (YAY) now that the blog is private, I'll explain it here ;)

Basically, I'm a fat blob right now.  Weight wise, I'm about 15 pounds over what I should be.  I have strictly been breastfeeding and eating alright (occasionally I do eat junk...) but I cannot shed this sticky weight.  UGH.  I've been dying to exercise and was really looking forward to getting the clear to do so, at my 6 week appointment.  I was also scheduled to get an IUD put in.  Because, God bless my beautiful, amazing, miraculous babies, but ummm... no more!  (at least for awhile!) 

Unfortunately, I was a little too active during the first few weeks after having Stella.  Because my flipping uterus and cervix have DROPPED.  Like dropped, dropped.  On top of having a sagging uterus (that's what she called it- I felt like an old lady or something) my stitches were still very much intact.  She said she would try and pick out the external ones, but since the internal ones were in, that meant my body still needed them.  Anyways I got the big "NO" on exercise and the IUD placement. 

Stupid really, to be upset about it.  But it did bum me out. 

Thankfully, I just went in this past Monday and everything looked a lot better.  (well she told me it looked better- I haven't seen any of this- just trusting her opinion ;).

I got the mirena put in and passed out.  Yes.  For real.  How embarrassing. 

This woman, had seen me give birth like a champ- laughing as Stella came out- and she puts an IUD in me and I turn as white as a ghost and black out.  Nice.

I'm so weird.  But it was a strange sensation and I didn't like the smell of the iodine and blood.  An hour later, I was on my way and trying to explain to my mom what took so long, what an IUD is and why I need it.  After explaining 3000 times that I didn't get my tubes tied, I think she finally got it. 

As of today, I'm feeling pretty good.  A little crampy but nothing horrible.  I officially got the clear to exercise and I am starting MONDAY!  YAYYYY!  My mom got me a gym membership at her gym (Powerhouse I think its called?) for my birthday and I am beyond excited to go.  Did I mention that included in my membership I get free childcare, while working out???  Um... heck to the yes.  Don't be surprised if I morph into a size zero... my exercise sessions might start lasting 4 hours ;)

Well... that's it for tonight!

Happy Saturday- thanks for reading and sticking with the whole privacy thing!

8 Weeks Post Partum...

Tomorrow marks EIGHT weeks of Henry's life here on earth. WOW! I have yet to schedule his 2 month appointment... oops. I'm assuming we'll get in sometime this week- I'm anxious to find out why he is fussy 24/7.

On another note- I posted a post partum pic of when I was 2 weeks post partum. Sitting here, quite pudgy and soft, not much has changed. I'm bummed. I have been dieting and nursing for 2 months now- yes, yes I've lost over 40 lbs- but remember about 30 of that was PURE FLUIDS! So really, I've only lost 10 solid pounds. And to get to my goal weight of 120 I still have 15 lbs to go. :( poo. Here's a pic of me this morning. Ignore my triple Z's in the pic.

In one word, YUCK. But here's the thing- in order to maintain my milk supply my midwife told me not to cut calories... okaaaaaayyy- that makes it a little hard to diet! Working out is the next best logical step, but with a newborn who likes to nurse at random times all day long, its hard to get out and do it. Unfortunately we don't live in a climate where I can put the kids in the double stroller and take a walk. For me to exercise I have to pack the kids up, drive to the Y, check them into the jankity daycare and PRAY my name isn't paged to come claim a child down in the nursery. Nope- the Y isn't going to happen. So now I'm thinking of exercise videos. I've heard of some good ones, so I'm willing to try them. Even with THAT I am not sure where the time to do a video will come from- my kids hardly ever nap at the same time and when they do I can pretty much guarantee you the first thought in my mind won't be "GOTTA EXERCISE!" It will probably be more along the lines of "GOTTA LAY DOWN!" sighhhhhh.... I need these extra 15 lbs off bad... what to do, what to do? Talking with my midwife, she said give it a year to get back to normal- focus on nursing, maintaining my supply and life with two kids. So is it selfish for me to want to get these 15 pounds off??? I wish I didn't care so much about the stupid scale- but my GOSH I am sick of my jeans cutting off blood supply to my legs. And I REFUSE to go out and buy size 7 jeans (yes that's what size I am in at the moment). I feel like if I give in and buy the size 7's I will always be in that size. Make sense?
Well, if any of you have some fabulous ideas on how I can get these pesky 15 lbs off, let me know! I am ALL ears! :)

Things To Remember.

I keep meaning to write this post- I didn't keep a baby book with Henry, but instead blogged about my prenatal visits, pregnancy ups & downs, belly pics, etc. I know I already blogged about Henry's birth story, but I didn't add in all the *special* moments, people and memories that I don't ever want to forget. With that said.....

*My awesome nurse Michelle Scott (she's Dr. Scott's wife actually!). She was amazing and truly my lifeline. It's funny that you rely so much on complete strangers during your labor. I probably won't ever see her again, but I'll always have a warm spot for her. She was great :)

*After my water was broken I stood up to go to the bathroom and there was a FLOOD- then in a panic I ran to the bathroom leaving a giant water path in my wake. I was too embarrassed to call the nurse to have her come clean up the giant mess so Ryan got on his hands and knees to clean up the spill. I sat on he bed laughing hysterically (in between contractions of course:)

*Dr. P & the nurse came in to break my water. After he broke it, Michelle asked if I was going to want an epidural anytime soon. Feeling brave and *OKAY* I said "No... not yet." Two seconds after she left the room, I got my first post-water breaking contraction and instantly regretted my response to her question. Next time she was in the room I was BEGGING for an epi!

*The moment I realized that my epidural actually worked this time- PRICELESS! haha :)

*Walking the halls for what seemed like hours (but was really only 45 minutes?) and hearing a girl screeeeaming her lungs out in a room. I started crying and had to go back to our room- I think I was seriously considering boycotting the whole induction and making an escape! :)

*When the nurse came in to check me after I got my epi- I was 7 cm. and she told me that if I feel the urge to push to make sure and let her know. I said okay. She left the room and I felt the urge to push- Ryan ran out and got her, she came back in, checked me, and said "you're ready!" What a great moment!

*When Henry came out and Dr.P put him on me- I thought he was a teeny 6 lbr. again. After they stabilized him and weighed him, they shouted over to me that he was 8.7. Even Dr. P had to say "WHAT??? 8.7??" :)

*While getting stitched up, Michelle lifted up my dang umbilical cord to show it off to everyone in the room. There were "oohs & ahhs" all around- apparently it was a really nice looking cord? :)

*After the whole birth when the nurse pushed on my uterus to get it to contract, urine literally shot out half way across the room. oops:) At this point, I'd lost any modesty so I just had to laugh. I DID say sorry though :)

*The cafeteria was closing at 7 PM and I wouldn't be in my postpartum room until around 7:30-8ish, so they nurses told me to order something because I needed to eat. I really didn't want to eat in the horrid birth room that still had yucky towels and gross stuff all over the place but I was STARVING. So I ordered a yogurt and fruit. Ryan was also pretty hungry (those guys work hard ya know) so he went down to the cafeteria and loaded up a giant plate filled with burritos, cheese, rice and beans. Um. Yuck. Even the nurses were a bit appalled that he was eating that right away... they warned me to not even look at it- I might vomit! :)

*Going to my postpartum room, they asked me if I needed a wheel chair. I felt really good so I said "no." But little did I know my body was still numb from the epi. I had nurses on both sides, completely freaking out about me falling. I kept saying "I feel fine! I just can't feel my right leg- that's why I'm wobbly!"

*My night nurse, Liz- absolutely wonderful :)

*When Dr. VanSchoik came in to get Henry for his circumcision the next morning... I was the one who had just gone through labor AND breastfed a baby through the whole night. But who was the one snoring on the couch??? Yup, Ryan. It actually got so uncomfortable Dr. V had to stop his conversation with me about the circumcision and address Ryan's snoring. I think he said something like "You've gotta give us guys some credit, right?" After the doc left Ryan got a book thrown at him...

*The ridiculous students who were in and out ALL DAY LONG. I know they've got to learn, but WOW. All I wanted to do was sleep and not only were they having to do a bunch of stuff on me, but then they'd sit there and talk about it and take notes. I got annoyed really fast. One time when they knocked on the door, I made it to the bathroom as fast as I could and told them I really needed to take a shower...

*Bonding with Henry over breastfeeding... Maeve didn't breastfeed for a few weeks- so it was amazing for me to have that with him right away.



All in all, it was a great birth experience! I'm sure there were a lot more funny, priceless, memorable moments- but these are ones that stick out that I HAD to write down before they eluded me.

quiiiick update!

Ryan took Maeve to the grocery store and Henry just finished off a boob :) SO I'll take this rare quiet moment to blog about what has been going on:

-my episiotomy is feeling fantastic- no really- I am shocked at how well I feel (physically! emotionally I have been hit with those lovely baby blues) I was more nervous about healing from the episiotomy than I was about the actual delivery! weird... but it was so painful last time! THIS time however it was only a 2nd degree cut- with Maeve it was a 3rd degree... I'm sure that's the difference.

-soooo about those baby blues... ahhhh I hate them! I cry about everything. Lets see... breakdowns to date: not being able to play with Maeve every second of the day like I used to. Getting a fever on Saturday night due to engorgement. Having to get Maeve McDonalds tonight. Weighing myself on the scale the night I got home from the hospital... oh and probably a thousand more.

-I have lost a whopping 27 lbs in a week- HOLY FLUIDS RIGHT???? I weighed myself the night I got home from the hospital and I had only lost 3 lbs. (breakdown ensued soon after) but I stayed off the scale for a few days and braved it again last night- WOW was I surprised to find that I was back in the 150's!!! WAHOOOOO! Only 28 more lbs. to go.

- ALL I've been wanting to eat is yogurt, yogurt, yogurt. Strange because that's all I wanted after I had Maeve too! My body must know how obesely large I am :)

-my boobs are killllllllllling me. WHY do I have such a hard time nursing??? This time, I'm not having issues with him latching on- he's a great latcher & sucker! However, I am soooo engorged. I am having to express and pump before and after every single feeding. If I don't, I will promptly start to run a fever, get the chills and feel like death.

-juggling these 2 kiddos is not as hard as I thought it would be- its just different. Things that used to take us 20 minutes now take us hours. We're also stuck at home because of the stupid episiotomy. (not supposed to drive for 2 weeks...) I've been going a little stir crazy but at the same time I'm not so sure I want Henry out yet.

-Ryan is officially the most amazing husband & dadda ever. I have fallen even more in love with him. He is so selfless its unbelievable. He has been playing Mr.Mom & my caretaker. He is there with tylenol, water and an ice pack for me, then turns around and is changing Maeve's diaper and running back in to grab Henry to change his dipe! What would I do without him?

- My mom told me that right after Henry was born she went over to take pictures but the nurse said "don't take pictures right now; he's not breathing." Thank the Lord I didn't hear that or know that until now. It makes holding this blessing mean even more (if that's even possible!)

-Henry's circ is healing up wonderfully and I'm sure he'll be pleased someday to know that I posted about it! On the other hand, he's got something gunky going on in his eyes. I called the doc this morning... they want to see him tomorrow.

-speaking of tomorrow morning... it will be my first outing BY myself with two kids. I.AM.SCARED. (and yes, I'm breaking the rule of driving. Lets just hope I don't run into Dr. P again!)

-My favorite thing to do now a days (besides cuddle with Henry) is take a sitz bath and read all my gossip mags. ahhhh wonderful.

-I am also enjoying doing all those "bad" things you can't do while preggo! I've had a COLD turkey sandwich two days in a row now! No fears of listeriosis here! :) I also had a glass of wine on Thanksgiving which gave me the worst headache ever. AND I've been taking super hot baths. soooo bad right? :)

-Maeve is being.....strange?! I can't figure the kid out. She seems to like having Henry around. She likes to ask "Where's baby?" but on the same hand, she kind of just ignores him... totally steering clear of him. Hmmm...


WELL... that's all I can think of for now. I will update more, ummmm at some point! :)

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