"Dawn Anna."

I cried a river today.

But it was a good cry. It was a validated cry.  I've been having a lot of un-validated cries lately... making me feel a tad pathetic and self concsious.  This movie, however, earns the right to be watched- and YES,cried over. "Dawn Anna" is a lifetime movie. SO yeah, there are some cheesy parts... but, her story is incredible. It touched me, it moved me and it jerked things back into perspective. Everyone needs a good jerking... (RAY SAVICKE- don't you even think about commenting on this!!! :)

I think I'm a victim of getting lost in the swirling blur that is life. Oh, oh, oh... the stuff that has been going through my head the past few days warrants a burning barrel. - meaning, those thoughts are so insignificant- they need to be discarded and burned. Turned into ashes and swept away... because surely, there are more important things to take up my brain than a funny game of 3rd grade dodgeball.


I don't know, maybe it doesn't take much to blow me away... but by the end of the movie, I had red, swollen eyes, a stuffy nose, and  was thanking God for my kids, my family, my health, my happiness. I also made the conscious decision to laugh. LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH. LAUGH every day. Laugh about the silliness... SILLY things that "hurt" my feelings- what's really silly is, that's not hurt... sticks and stones right? :) Words will never hurt me.

It seems like I get smacked in the face with a good life lesson about once a month. It usually comes in the form of an "Oprah" episode, or some crazy thing I've dug up on youtube. Today it came from a simple Lifetime movie that I happened to catch. God is working with and on me... tweaking things, pushing me back into place... setting my priorities straight and giving me some good gut punches....

I cringe to think about the breath I've wasted in this life so far. My breath (and yours) is too precious to waste  on anything but positive love. Love, love, love.  

SO, in the meantime, I'm smiling... smiling for my dear friends, smiling for my newly "Buffett-ized" family, smiling for my sleeping babies, smiling for my crazy husband who likes to do funny things (more on that tomorrow), smiling because the big problem in my life right now is not big. It is silly. It is minute. It's actually.... GONE.


sleep tight, Goodnight! :)

Ew.

Y'all know my insomnia...

My insomnia often leads to youtube searches. Youtube searches usually lead to anxiety provoking videos. The anxiety provoking videos lead to my insomnia. Vicious cycle!

Anyways, last night I was up until 2 or so? ((YUCK)) and came across this video. I'm not a fan of Pam Anderson... at all (Yuck to her as well). But I will never, EVER eat chicken from KFC again... EVER. I am sure I am late on this video... meaning- I'm sure you've seen it and have all been boycotting KFC for years because of it... whoops... not me.

From now on, all my chicken eating is coming from Laura McCully's farm! :) I've seen the chickens out there- they're treated well- everything is clean- no broken bones, no slicing their beaks off... just happy, healthy chickens :)

I have never really been a meat fan. I am practically a vegetarian- NOT a vegan- but a vegetarian. I hardly ever eat meat. I DO like BBQ chicken... and I will eat chili- or spaghetti with ground turkey. But (this may blow your mind) I have never, EVER had a steak. EVER. Crazy??? I just don't like the taste of meat.

If I didn't have such a meat hungry husband, I'd probably become a vegetarian. But honestly, Ryan might become a cannibal if I deprived him of meat. That would be no good for any of us... ;)

Anywho, what a great post for a Monday morning right??? :)

Have a good week readers!

Anyone Catch This?

Sunday night, I just happened to come across a movie on LMN (Lifetime Movie Network, yeah I know) that was just starting. It was called Amish Grace. I tivo-d it and ended up watching it later that night. It took me by surprise. I wasn't prepared to be struck so hard by a Lifetime movie. There were most definitely some cheesy parts in it; After all, it wouldn't be a Lifetime movie without all the cheese! Still though, the message of the movie was so powerful, I just had to share.

Remember this? That horrific Amish school shooting back in October, 2006? "Amish Grace" (the LMN movie) went through the events of the day, but more importantly the events that followed.

I have always thought highly of the Amish. My dad has worked with them for as long as I can remember. I have vivid memories of visiting their farms and running around with the little Amish boys and girls, petting their animals and sneaking peaks of the...GULP...outhouses! We went to furniture auctions, cookouts, and a group of Amish men even helped my dad build our house (Ryan and I's AND my parents') from the ground up! They're just great people.

Okay, okay- back to the movie. I couldn't hold back the tears as they dramatized the shots being fired- knowing well that five little girls lost their lives that day. But the waterworks really began AFTER the dramatic shooting scene. Apparently, after this madman barricaded the one room school house shut, hogtied and shot the girls, the Amish had one thing on their mind: forgiveness. In fact, immediately following the shootings the elders (including a father of one of the dead girls) got a ride over to the widow's (Mrs. Roberts- the shooter's wife) house to pay their condolences to HER. To offer HER prayer. To offer HER some comfort. To let her know they would help HER out in any way they could. I was baffled. BLOWN AWAY. It's not often that you find someone (let alone a group of people) that truly practice what they preach. Of course, me being, well, ME, this movie got me thinking about my own life. I (thank the DEAR LORD) have not suffered any kind of a tragedy like these Amish people, yet I harvest grudges and resentment about the most ridiculous things. In the grand scheme of things, its actually really sickening to think about- I can't forgive a family member for ((this or that)) but these people can forgive (and TRULY forgive) the man who murdered their daughters??? And offer compassion to his wife? Completely mind blowing.

I have a new found respect for these people. Thanks to a cheesy Lifetime movie, I really feel like this is the first time in a long time I've been able to look at forgiveness from such a humbling point of view.

With all that rambling said.... I really want to know (if you feel comfortable enough to share) if you TRULY, TRULY could forgive your child's murderer. Not just say it, but follow through. It's a horrible thing to think about, and God-willing none of us will ever face that. But, I can't honestly say I could. In fact, right now, in my walk, I can say with certainty I could not forgive that person. So, please share... this movie really got me thinking... and I'm just curious.

And...if you have time, try and find "Amish Grace" so you can see for yourself the truly amazing spirit of these people.

Have you seen this?

A good friend of mine (Cheryl) and I were talking (via facebook) and just catching up on things when she mentioned that her nephew was born with Trisomy 3- I had heard of Trisomy 18 but not 3... apparently its very much like Trisomy 18 but "is compatible with life." Cheryl gave me her sisters blog address so I could check it out more... I spent the good part of Tuesday night bawling my eyes out- but not just out of sadness for their family, out of complete awe at the strength and faith that little Witt's parents have. I linked her blog to mine so that I can continue catching up with Witt's condition. And even though I can't relate to the struggles and crises that she faces on a daily basis, it's very inspirational to just read. I urge you to checkIT out.

Also, I'm sure most of you have seen this, but it was new to me on Tuesday night. After talking with Cheryl for awhile about Trisomy disorders she told me to look on youtube for the video "99 Balloons." WOW is all I have to say. Apparently it was on Oprah (so like I said, I'm sure you've seen it). But if you haven't you HAVE TO WATCH IT. It might make you cry hysterically- and your husband may question your sanity, but its worth it. It's beautiful. Plain & simple.

I'm not sure how to put a video ON my blog but here's the link...
99 Balloons

This Is NUTS.

Okay, so my mom told me about this story today- some of you may have heard of it on the news already, but anyways... so ya know how I was just in Florida? Well, this little town Satsuma, which is neighbors with Crescent City (where we were staying) is now in the spotlight on the national news- why??? ANOTHER sweet little girl has gone missing. Unbelievable. This one is just really hitting home for a few reasons- first, my grandma has taught all of the Cummings (thats Haleigh's last name) two, she went to Crescent City Elementary school- where my mom went, where my cousins go, etc. And thirdly, my step cousin Robbie, KNOWS this family personally- he's helping with the search and organizing prayer groups, etc. It is just nuts. Anyways, on facebook there is a group called "Praying for Haleigh Cummings" you should join it, and join in the praying for the sweet girl- you can find it on my groups list.