The Great Balancing Act Called MAMAMAMA!

Yeah, I'm going there.  Tonight- at 11 PM. 

Despite two tylenol PMs I still cannot sleep.

Am I too hard on myself as a mom? 

Maybe.

Maybe not?

But at the end of the day, I'm always thinking there is something more I should have done, more giggles I should have tickled out, more attention to be paid, etc... you get the idea.  And I'm sure some of you feel the same.  I think its common for moms to think these thoughts.  After all, what wouldn't you give/do for your child? 

When Ryan gets home, the kids don't just flock to him- they are like sticky glued to him.  I've always thought its super cute (and I still do) but lately, I'm wondering- are they so excited for Ryan to get home so they can have more fun?  More attention?  I think so. 

Let me explain.

I am their mother.  I am the one who says "NO" all.day.long.  I am the one who fights about only having one packet of fruit snacks versus two.  I'm the one who shoo's the littles out of the bathroom (every two seconds).  I'm the hair brusher (Maeve's #1 nemesis).  I'm the bath giver, the holding down-put on your clothes- one.  The "milk or water" only one.  I am the logical one.  I think about nap times, meals, diaper changes, etc.  To sum it up- I get in the way and ruin all the fun.  Or so it feels like that... lately?!

Maeve is constantly begging to go to my moms house.  For a long, long time this irked me.  "WHY?"  I thought, "WHY would she want to go over there every stinkin' day, when I am her mother???"  And then I got it- I am her mother.  haha :)  In other words, Nana doesn't brush her hair, say no to candy, fruit snacks or running outside naked or throwing all the pillows off the bed so she can do gymnastics.  Why wouldn't she want to go over there all the time? 

I've concluded that moms get the short end of the stick.  Or at least this mom does. 

I feel like I do WAY too much of the disciplining, "mothering," etc. and don't get to take part in as much of the fun stuff.  It's almost like I'm prepping the kids for fun- and when the fun begins, I step back, let others have the fun with my kids and clean up the mess from the preparation... does that make sense?   Probably not.  I'm winding down.  Tylenol PM is indeed kicking in.

Anyways, tonight, I was taking a bath with Henry... (he's 2, yes I still take a bath with him).  He started jumping up and splashing down, hard in the bath.  Water was flying everywhere.  The "mom" part of me wanted to say "Noooo buddy.  Sit down."  But (very) unlike me, I thought "so what?!"  And for the next 20 minutes, we splashed nearly all the water OUT of the tub.  Yeah, it made a huge mess.  Perhaps I might have broken our electronic scale, (water damage ;)  But I haven't heard Henry laugh that hard (with me, anyway) for a long time.

I thought about this for awhile.  And it seemed simple enough.  I needed to relax.  Live in the moment with my kids, and not worry so much about what they're wearing or if they're faces are clean... right??  On the other side of this, I remain their mother.  And therefore, it IS my duty to make sure they're dressed, clean, happy and healthy. 

So where do you get the balance??  How do you get the balance? 

I'm open to past and present mama experiences! 

Battle of the Bands.

Tonight, rum and Ryan and a little Sublime are my friends. Except I must be a boring friend because I was ditched for laundry... ya- Ryan chose to fold some laundry versus watching "Signs" with me. His loss ;)

Anywho, back to the point of this post... I've been having a teeny little "battle of the bands" in the ol jeep. Here's my sitch:

I have two kids in the car- we should be listening to Disney soundtracks and counting songs, right??? Well, we've tried this. We DO listen to Disney songs and counting songs... and songs about sharing... and songs about not pooping your pants... and songs about not biting... and- you get the idea. One can only take so much.

Music has always been a huge part of mine and Ryan's lives. I have played the piano since first grade or so... and Ryan plays the piano, guitar and sometimes you can catch him singing :)

PRE-kids, my ipod was plugged in to my car 24/7... I've never really listened to BAD music- I mean I think I went through a rap stage in high school- (remember Nelly?:) but I tend to lean more towards the clean, folksy, RASTA-ish, type music. There might be AN occasional bad word... or suggestion... but really, its pretty good.

However, when my two year old starts belting out "WITH A TIN CUP FOR A CHALICE FILL IT UP WITH RED WINE!" or "WON'T SOMEBODY GET ME OFFA THIS REEF?" in the middle of Target, I can't help but think that something is not right. This is usually when (in target) I make my way over to the CD department and pick out one of those incredibly obnoxious children's CDs, vowing that from now on, Maeve and Henry's ears will only be privy to little lambs and itsy bitsy spiders.

Fast forward... we're in the car and on the 3rd round of "The Wheels on The Bus" and I'm ready to rip my entire stereo system out and crunching the CD up in a zillion pieces.

What would be more traumatic for my kids? Hearing that Jimmy Buffett likes to drink red wine from a tin cup chalice, while chewing on a honeysuckle vine or watching momma pull over the car, rip out the stereo and begin to shred and shatter the CD? I'm fairly sure the second option would leave more scarring.

Still though, I can't help but feel a little guilty.... moms, be truly honest with me... what do YOU listen to in the car with your kids?

- I have to say I am a teensy weensy bit nervous about this post... its my first "controversial" post since going public... be nice. no judgement :)-

Tip Of The Day.

Don't ask me why its taken me almost 3 years to figure this out. It seems so simple. But its oh-so exciting. I have found a way to "talk" to Maeve. Yes- she is quite the talker, always has been- and we have 30000 conversations a day. Just recently, however, I've discovered a secret: Attach any Disney character/princess with an action and she'll do it. SUUUUWEEET!

Here are some examples:

"Maeve here's a SNOW WHITE apple... SNOW WHITE eats apples, Maeve should too." And the girl eats the apple.

"Maeve its time for a nap." (SCREAMING) "SLEEPING BEAUTY takes long naps! Don't you want to be like SLEEPING BEAUTY???" And Maeve gets ready for a nap.

"Maeve!! Bathtime!" (SCREAMING) "ARIEL lives in the water... she likes to have her hair wet. Don't you want to be like THE LITTLE MERMAID?" And Maeve's in the tub.

I have no shame in my game. Spend a day with my very ((VERY)) strong willed little girl, and you'll be pulling out the princess names left and right. You'll probably even start to make stuff up- like this;

"Maeve we need to pick up your toys." (SCREAMING) "Maeve did you know that PRINCESS JASMINE likes to clean up her toys?"

It's working for us at the moment. And for that, I'm grateful :)

things that make me go giggle.

M & H have been keeping me laughing. I am thankful- who doesn't need a good laugh? The older these two get, the closer they get. And I love it. Its making me rethink putting off having another baby for awhile- NO I will not be pregs anytime soon- but I do love the 2 year age gap. They pal around and really get a kick out of each other. I wanted to write some things down (for memories sake... and my parents who are sadly missing a lot of this) that make me smile/laugh....

-Every morning when we go in to get Henry (Henry out-sleeps Maeve by like 20-30 minutes), Maeve comes bounding in behind me, singing "Hello! It's really nice to see you!" (its this greeting song she used to sing in ballet...)

-Henry is ALL over the place- and into Maeve's stuff. Which, surprisingly, Maeve is really good about it... Henry pulls her hair, snatches barbies out of her hand, yanks on her necklaces. I see the desire in Maeve's eyes to swat at him, but instead EVERY SINGLE TIME- she says "No thank you Henry!" (and I laugh:)

-The other day both kids slept late and Ryan was home before they were up from naps. Maeve woke up, Ryan went in to get her, and with all the bustling/noise, Henry woke soon after. Ryan went in to get the bubs and Maeve came bounding in behind him saying, "Careful dadda! Henry is so big. He is such a big boy!" (this is what I say almost every single morning- "Hey my big boy!")

-its not October, but I have a feeling I will be one of those moms who brings her kids dressed as Indians and Pirates to Meijers in May. And I'm really not sweating it. There are worst things in life than having your ((almost 3)) year old decked out in a sparkly "Alice and Wonderland" costume.

- Maeve is pretty much pee pee potty trained. But poo poo is a different story. For some reason its just not her thing. She'd rather poop in a diaper. BLAH. Anyways, whenever I DO ask her if she needs to go poo poo on the potty, she says "Nooooo SPOOKY POO POOS!" She's terrified of pooping on the potty. After nap the other day, I was changing a diaper bomb and she said "ohhhh I have spooky PIRATE poo poos." WHAT?!?!?! :) HAHAHAH! "Yes Maeve. This poo poo is spooky." :) The funny thing is she doesn't say it every time... can anyone guess why one poo poo is spooky but the next is "fine?"

-on our trip to Florida, my mom and grandma (nana and gigi) got Maeve the FULL "Alice" ensemble. We were in a "Sonny's BBQ" place and she insisted on putting it on. I was thinking- white dress +BBQ= nightmare. But with nana, anything goes. Off they went to the bathroom to change. She came out with the headband, dress and her white rabbit. I said "Oh my goodness Maeve you're so beautiful!" Her response was "I'm Alice. Alice needs black shoes."

-So.... Lola (my dear, beloved dog...) got sprayed by a skunk... the day before I left for FL (the 8th?) and she STILL stinks (its now the 16th). I must say 100000 times a day, "Lola you reek, get away from me." Last night Lola jumped up on the couch next to Maeve. Maeve, normally a Lola lover, turned to her and said "Lola you stink like skunk. GO!" HAHA :)

-On the airplane ride down to FL. Maeve looked out the window and recited the entire "It Looked Like Spilled Milk" book. It was cracking me up- "Sometimes it looked like an ice cream cone... but it wasn't an ice cream cone." At the end, when she'd get to the "cloud in the sky" part, she'd shout super loud "IT WAS A CLOUD!!!!"

-when we pull into CVS, Maeve announces "Ohhh Momma sick? Momma get her medicines?" :)

-While being the daredevil that she (sort of) is, she looks back at me and says "MaeMae be SO careful. Momma will be SO sad if I gets boo boos." I tell her all the time how "sad" she'll make me if she does certain things- ie- "Maeve that will make momma very sad if you choose to jump on the couch and then you bonk your head." Or, "Maeve, momma is sad that you took all these dvds out and they're now scattered across the floor. They're not going to work now." So now, AS she's doing things, she'll look at me and say, "I make momma so sad?" I reply with "Yep, mommas sad you're getting into that, can we put it away?" She says, "Oh I sorry momma. You so sad. No, I not put it away... I'm playing."

What I Thought.

---warning--- before you read this, there are a few "controversial" comments. I really don't want any negative feedback. This is a true, honest post. And I want to be able to say what I feel here. Even if that means admitting embarrassing, shameful things.



On February .... 2007, when I read the positive pregnancy test, I thought this was going to be a breeze. I mean everything- I thought the pregnancy would be easy peezy. I thought rearing a child would be even easier. I thought my biggest hurdle would be labor itself. Haha... what I've learned since then!

When I found out how horrible morning sickness was I thought there couldn't possibly be anything worse. And then "morning sickness" became "all-day" sickness. Yes, it got worse. When I made it out of the dreaded first trimester, I thought it would be smooth sailing. That's what I thought.

When I found out at 20 weeks I would be having a girl, I thought "it doesn't get better than this." It does. :)

When I entered my 33rd week of pregnancy, and my heart palpitations started up, I thought "it can't get any worse than this." It does. :)

During my 22 hour labor, in which my first epidural failed and my 2nd was placed too late, I thought "surely, this is the most painful thing I could ever go through." It's not.

When Maeve was born, I thought she was the cutest thing I had ever seen. There was no possible way she could get any cuter. That's what I thought. But she did. :)

When we drove home from the hospital, I thought of all the things I wanted to do with my little girl. Take her to the park, to Disney, to the fairs, to the pool. I thought those would be our funnest, most favorite memories. They're not. :)

Holding Maeve as an infant, I thought of everything I wanted her to be. A ballerina, a gymnast, a doctor. Those are things I thought I wanted for her. Wanted her to be. They're not.

Last March .... 2009, reading THAT positive pregnancy test I thought I was in the middle of a nightmare. I wasn't. :)

For months, I thought "HOW CAN I LOVE THIS BABY LIKE I LOVE MAEVE?" I do. :)

In July, deep in the emergency room, we found out we were going to be parents of a BOY. I thought they were wrong. They weren't. :)

When it was reconfirmed it was a boy, I thought "just my luck...a boy." Little did I know just how lucky I really was.

For the rest of the pregnancy, anytime I found out someone else was having a girl I thought of the little boy growing inside me and wished so hard that he'd come out a "she." Thank God he didn't.

I had many conversations with my good friends and Ryan with how I thought there would be no way I could A.) love another baby as much as I loved Maeve and, B.) love a boy. I did and do both. :)

I thought baby boy clothes were hideous. They aren't. :)

I thought I'd always prefer Maeve to this poor baby. I don't.

At 4:59 PM on November 23rd, when I held Henry in my arms for the first time I thought it wouldn't and couldn't compare to holding Maeve in my arms for the first time. It did. And in ways, surpassed it, because I had such a short labor with Henry. I was much more "with it," which made the experience better.

In the next few days, holding my sweet baby boy, I started tothink of what I wanted him to be. Again, I thought "doctor, lawyer, pilot, pro-soccer player, etc." That's what I thought I wanted for him.

When we brought Henry home, I thought life will never be the same again. And it won't. Thank Jesus for that :)



...So many thoughts of what I THOUGHT I wanted. What I thought I needed. It's funny how what we think we want, is not what we need.

What's the point of this post? (besides using the word "THOUGHT" WAYYYYYY too much?) I need to loosen up my grip and give up control to the One above. This entire time, He has known what I needed. And He continues to know. What prompted me to write this post, is hearing of yet another little one diagnosed with a life threatening condition. I was at the studio yesterday and took the call from the parent- letting me know that their daughter wouldn't be in class because she was being life flighted up to U of M.

I am horrified with my own thoughts back when I was pregnant with Henry of how I thought that was "bad luck." It's sickening to think about now. The love I have for that little man is indescribable. And incomparable. The love I have for him is unique from that of the love I have for Maeve- which isn't any less and isn't any more... just unique- different.

I realize now, labor is the least painful part of having children. What is truly painful is seeing your kids hurt or sick. THAT is pain.

Looking at my two miracles, I want two things for them- and no, its not to be a doctor or a ballerina- its to be healthy and happy. That is ALL I want for them. And that is ALL they (and I) need.

Today, (and everyday since Henry was born) I HONEST TO GOD think to myself, "Does it get better than this?" That is TRULY how good life is right now. I hope that indeed, (although I can't fathom it) we will be blessed with health, happiness and more babies, and yes, it WILL get better than this!

Maeve & Henry- you are my lights. You both are the reason I do everything I do. I wake up with a smile and go to sleep with a smile because you babies are who you are.

Maeve- you aren't quite ballerina material- you don't stand in your place. You don't listen. You cause me to shake my head and say "Dear Lord" about 300000 times a day. But I wouldn't change you for the world. Maybe you're meant to be a sprinter or a wrestler- you're pretty good at that too :)

Henry- you stink. You smell like a boy all day long. No matter how many baths I give you, your head smells like a foot. But its the best smelling foot I've ever smelt :) I love your stinky head and I love your belly laughs. I love how much you enjoy your food and how you look in awe of your big sissy. I love how I can soothe you better than anyone. And I love that you have a wee wee. Thank GOD you have a wee wee :) You're my boy. And I would never, EVER change that for a second.



Life is good- no, its great. And I praise Him for that. I praise Him for that- and for not giving me what I thought I wanted. :)

Hard days & Harder nights.

It has been rough around here lately! Maeve is not just A handful- she is TWO handfuls. I can't look down for a minute (just to be clear I am looking down right now as I type this- but she is "napping.") without pure destruction or chaos happening. It's making me incredibly nervous to add a second one into the mix. Here are a few issues we've been having lately. ANY HELP WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!

-throwing her food on the floor (a HUGE ONE!)

-not saying please or thank you (although she CLEARLY can- the girl says "octopus" and she says please occasionally- but it has to be on her own terms- if you ASK her to say please or thank you she will NOT DO IT.)

-hitting, kicking, slapping, grabbing, etc.

-complete defiance- for example- she will go to her book shelf and just start pulling piles of books out. When I say "Maeve no- one at a time" she briefly stops- looks at me and then continues with the madness.

-I've been trying time outs as a form of discipline- (I don't want to yell or grab or smack her- out of fear it will condone that behavior even more) so I try to keep my voice really calm but firm and then sticking her in her high chair, wheeling it into the middle of the kitchen and then leaving her there for a minute or two. She thinks its a game. WTH?

-everything- and I MEAN EVERYTHING is a battle. From bath time, to bed time, changing her diapers, getting her dressed, brushing her hair- its all a fight. She screams, throws tantrums....

Well i think that about sums up our issues- any ideas??? :)

Also- I took her into the doc. yesterday afternoon because she's been waking up in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep unless she's in our bed and she's had a dose of motrin. Why motrin you ask? Because she isn't just up for 10-15 minutes- she is up for on average, 2-3 HOURS. And finally after exhausting every effort to get her to go back to sleep, we try motrin, thinking she might have an ear ache or headache, or something physically wrong that is preventing her from sleeping. Good news & bad news I guess at the doc- good news- she is fine- bad news- there is NOTHING we can do at this point to help her sleep better. We just have to bite the bullet and know that 2-3 hours out of most nights (about 5 nights a week) one of us will be up with her. BLAAAAAH. THIS IS HARD!!!!

Oh- something else I've been meaning to ask/update with is about this BRUISE on Maeve. It's a disappearing bruise- its there one day and gone the next- always in the same spot (the small of her back) and we've noticed this bruise for about a year now- YES, A YEAR. I had taken her in for it around November or so, was told that it was fine- no big deal and it looked like it was healing. (I wanted to say, "yes doctor the problem is it heals and then comes right back- in the SAME EXACT spot!) To say the least its freaking me out! So yesterday when I took Maeve in to get her ears checked I also asked about the bruise. I reminded Dr. Williams that I had asked her about this months ago and that's how long it has been an issue. She told me that they usually worry about a bruise that won't heal- so since her's heals and then comes back, she must be getting a new bruise every few days. My question is "HOW???????????" I've checked everything she sits in on a regular basis- her high chair, stroller, carseat- there is nothing that is sticking out that could cause a bruise. I KNOW for a fact she does not fall on her back every few days! So WHAT is causing this??? Anyone have any ideas on this??? It's not a big bruise- its about the size of a dime... and its always a browny-yellow color. Strange huh?

Shots & Playdates...

Cheery girl makes my days less dreary in this frozen dead land.

Bad momma took Maeve to get her shots yesterday (no I don't think I'm a bad mom, but driving TO the doctors just to get your child poked is really crappy feeling!). She did well- only cried on the 2nd poke. But still, just not a fun thing to do!! Anyways, I had given her motrin before the shots, and as always it really helped with the rest of the day. The NIGHT however, was sooooo not fun. For the first time in weeks, months, maybe- she woke up at 2 or 3 (can't really remember) I had taken Nyquil b/c I'm sick with some crap so I was totally out of it- all I remember was hearing her cry and saying, "Ryan she needs a bottle.". And luckily I have a fantastic husband who got up and solved the problem. Although this morning she was up bright and early and I was STILL feeling like a drugged up zombie as I changed one of the stinkiest diarrhea diapers of Maeves pooping career. She is reacting differently to these shots which is scaring me- she instantly got a runny nose and last night she was being so strange with the band aid- she would look at it and get really worked up. So we finally took it off when she was in the bath. Strange.... but maybe its because she's getting older and she can put two and two together- band aid= pain= ouch/not fun, etc. Anyways, I was reassured over and over again by her doc. that the shots are NOT dangerous and she would be fine.

SOOOO after the poopy diaper, breakfast and a bath, we had a playdate this morning. It was with one of my friends, Ann and her baby Lilah... and about 15 other kids and moms who I didn't know. But it was fun and nice to get out of the house. Whats really great about it is that its at Westwinds church which is a mere 2 seconds from my house. Super convenient!!!

Tonight is one of my last meets of the season and I'm pretty depressed about it. The money won't be rolling in so frequently as it does during judging season, and I won't be getting my couple of nights out, away from the house. Hummmph. kind of disappointing, but that's how it goes. On a great note- SPRING BREAK is soooo within reach! I can't wait!!!! We have our airfare and hotels all booked- now we're working on finding a good deal on a rental car. Once that is done- we are goooooood to goooooo!

I'm sure you've noticed (cause you all keep tabs on me right? :) that I haven't blogged in awhile about the Y or dieting... ummmm yeah. I haven't been to the Y since we got back from Florida weeks ago... I feel horrible! And as far as the dieting goes, I haven't TOTALLY fallen off the bandwagon but I'm dragging behind for sure! UGH Ryan took the scale out of the house (I think I had mentioned that before...) and so I have no clue what I weigh... I just know I feel crapier. I have like 7 weeks until spring break... I could totally get my butt back into gear and reach my goal... but honestly at the moment, I don't feel like doing much of anything. Who knows... a friend just posted a quote on her facebook profile "I'd rather be a magic marker than a skinny pencil." and it kind of sums up how I feel at this point! :)

Okay I know this post is so jumbled up, but after Maeves shots yesterday I got her a "prize"- its become tradition... although we are getting shoved out of our house by the amount of toys in this place so I decided to go with some play doh. Maeve and I had such a blast- for a good 30 minutes or so- we played together- and it was awesome. It also sparked that desire to home school- something I've been thinking about- even more. I know it was just stupid play doh- but it was the first time (besides at a resturant coloring) that we had sat at home, Maeve in her high chair, me sitting in a chair facing her, at the table, doing the same thing- like a project or something. And like I said, it was awesome. I was making snakes, she was hissing... I was making a birds nest with eggs and she was saying "buuuuuurdy." I would take out a different color and she'd look with huge eyes at the new blob in front of her. It was incredible to watch her experience something new and "learn" at the same time. I just feel like I couldn't hand over the reigns to someone else and say "Here- you be the one who teaches Maeve her letters, numbers, shapes, etc." I want to be the one who teaches her and shows her new things... ya know??? I think I have Ryan convinced to home school at least through 6th grade... he wants our kids involved in middle school/high school sports. And I understand that, being a high school athlete myself. So I will take what I can get- and if that means having her home until 6th grade, that makes me happy :) Oh- and on facebook last night, I made a comment about wanting to home school her, that I had friends who had gone into teaching and it scared me to think of them teaching Maeve- I in NO WAY meant to offend anyone... although I did (because I got a stupid message from her a second after the note was posted) that comment was meant kind of as a joke- like I've partied with some people that have gone into teaching and its a bit scary thinking of them teaching Maeve. Whatever, its stupid I just know I didn't mean anyone specific and I certainly didn't think I'd ruffle any feathers. But when people are insecure with themselves I guess they can take offense to anything. Blah... sometimes I hate facebook!

I wouldn't trade my days with her for the world... priceless.

After a few bites of it and throwing it on the floor for the dogs to eat, she got the hang of squishing it, smashing it and squeezing it. :)

Welllll......... that about sums everything up that is going on in our lives at the moment. Hope all is well with you and your families! Keep on keepin' on! Winter is almost over!!! (kind of)

Wow! I Feel The Love! :)

Sometimes when you feel so out of touch with people just like that, God puts special people in your day to cheer ya up! Thanks to all who gave me positive feedback about being a momma. Its hard to take comments about that because its who I am- it defines me as a person- my number one priorities are being loyal to my God and my husband and to my MaeMae and to any other children we are blessed with. Motherhood is by far the hardest thing I've ever done- (just last night, at the late hour of 7 PM I passed out on the couch from pure exhaustion from the day- waking up with Maeve at 4 AM, waking up again at 7:30 AM, making breakfast, giving baths, chasing after Maeve, pulling her off the couch 400 times a day, picking up, sweeping the floor about 30 times (pine needles!!!!!!), making bottles, making lunch, making dinner, and going to work, just really wiped me out ya know??? I always say this but those of you with more than one child, how do you do it?? Where do you find your energy? Coffee? :) I definitely feel the need and desire in my heart for more children, but I'm gonna need to rally myself up for it- because it is COMPLETELY exhausting chasing after one little 14 month old! :)

I've Realized...

after watching Maeve get poked and prodded that I can't handle anything worse than her having pneumonia.

I'd rather be sick than her... (I already knew that, but at night watching her sniffle and whimper, I wished more than anything that I was the sick one...)

I have mommy instincts.

Baby Diarrhea comes in every color of the rainbow...

it doesn't matter how tired we are... Maeve is still sick and requires us to be at our 100 percent.

Nothing beats staying home all weekend with my family :) -Ryan didn't have to work on Saturday so from Friday at 3:00 on, he was ALL OURS!!!

A warm bath in the middle of the night sometimes does the trick to get Maeve back to sleep.

Again, how blessed we are to have Maeve! In an instant things can change and I am continually thankful and grateful that we have our bug!

A Week In The Life...

of the McKenneys!!! Hahaha... I haven't written in awhile because of the lack of activities and events in our lives. Which is a good thing I guess :) So now I am going to try and remember this past week and post about it... pregnancy kind of fried my brain, so we'll see how well I remember things.
Monday marked the start of a very lazy week for me. Maeve has been a complete doll- almost too angelic- I am wondering what is going on :/ She has been sleeping past 8 every single morning- PRAISE JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep waking up around 7:30 and I go in to check on her because its just completely out of sorts for her to be sleeping so long. Monday was rainy (as I recall...) and we were cooped up inside. But a really special thing happened- we went out into our very tiny living room and I got this genius idea to move the coffee table so Maeve would have this huge space to play in. I managed to move it over in the corner and I spread a few blankets on the floor, brought out a couple of her toy bins and Maeve was in complete baby bliss. I kept thinking "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS SOONER????" For so long we had been limited to playing in her room (which is also very small). Maeve was thrilled that she could do her little walker up and down the HALLWAY, (yes we have ONE hallway!) and even more psyched that her cartoons were up on the giant tv! She loved it! :) Oh back to the special moment- as many of you know, Maeve is NOT a cuddly child- she likes to be on her own and as independent as possible. I mean of course she is completely sweet and cuddly sometimes but the majority of the time I am ducking from getting a slap in the face. She is somewhat aggressive which really bothers and concerns me... Anyways "The Backyardagins" were on (which is SO CUTE!) and she actually crawled up into my lap and snuggled with me while watching it for an entire half hour!!!!! It moved me to tears!!! haha... I am such a sap. Well since it was still raining and I was bored out of my mind and Maeve was back to destroying the house, I decided to take her to "The Toy House" here in Jackson. They were having this huge summer blow out sale and I am kind of obsessed with that place... so I packed her up in the rain and boyyyyy was it worth it! :) We got there and she had such a blast- they had this little train table set all up and she stood there and played with that for a good 10-15 minutes- she looked too big playing with the other kids... :( SAD. Then she tested out some slides in the big back warehouse... then we picked out a new toy: Her VERY FIRST kitchen :) Major sale- I got it for 30 bucks or something like that... maybe 40. We also picked up some great books- the really nice, hard covered ones, they had some that were on clearance for 3.99 :) It was so much fun taking her there- my mom used to take us all the time- in fact thats where I committed my first (and only) crime... I stole an eraser... my mom found it in my pocket and I had to go and return it AND apologize to the clerk. Embarrassing as heck. Needless to say, I've never stolen anything since. Good lesson Mom!!!
Also, for some reason, Monday I was super emotional- for those of you who don't know, The Toy House is located in downtown Jackson- right by the hospital- and I noticed that the hospital changed its name to "Allegiance?" Or something like that... It used to be Foote- and I got all choked up that I would never have another baby delivered at "Foote."
Like I said before, this was a very lazy week for me, so please don't think we're completely gross after reading what we ate for dinner each night (YES I think I've gained 5 lbs. of grease this week) Monday night I was having really bad anxiety for some reason. Anyways I couldn't cook dinner because my hands were shaking so badly- (anxiety stinks) so Ryan suggested pizza- we went to "Klavons" and it was excellent as always. But I do have to disclose that I had to drink a beer with dinner because I was about to keel over from hyperventilating. (Hey- drs. orders are to have a drink when I'm on the brink. :)HAHAHAHA! LUCKY ME!) Thankfully no full out anxiety attack that night :)
TUESDAY- again, pretty boring during the day... I went to Kohls and had a fun time getting a heck of a deal on summer stuff for next year (for Maeve). All dresses for her were 7.99 and little Carters one piece thingys were around 3 bucks. I was thrilled :) Tuesday night we went to the fair... yes, the Jackson County Fair. I tell myself every year- I am not going back. But every year there I am, walking around in the greasy, filthy, germ infested thing. (Sorry Angela- I know you've got a thing for carnies...) BUT those guys creep me out BIG TIME. More to come on them a bit later... As for the fair Tuesday night, it was really nice :) We went with friends (shout out to Allison, Rob & Madelyn) and we just walked around and ate and ate and ate. I had half a corn dog, french fries and half an elephant ear... ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- I had grease coming out of my pores. We saw the animals, in which we discovered Maeve has a HUGE fear of horses... All in all, it was a very nice time :)
HUMPDAY (Did you know that meant Wednsday?? I had always sung to that Jimmy Buffet song, "...its humpday on the island, not much going on..." And I thought it meant sex or something... Ryan just recently told me it means Wed. like you're over the hump of the week???) An awesome day- Maeve slept in till 9:45!!! WTH????? Gosh I am blessed. Anyways I woke up feeling like a new woman! I have not slept that late in ages... Even though it threw our whole day off (I thrive on a schedule) it was worth it :) Maeve actually did great- with later naps, later lunch, later dinner, later bedtime. Ryan had to work late (he does every Wed.) and Maeve and I had a dinner date with Allison & Madelyn and Kelly & Nolan. It was so much fun!! :) Maeve & Madelyn sat next to each other in their high chairs and "talked" and Nolan (whos just over 3 months I believe...) steered clear away from the girl drama that was at our end of the table! :)Oh and I had half a grilled cheese and french fries... NICE.haha... It WAS very nice however, to sit and talk with GIRL GROWN UPS :) We should do it again ladies...
Thursday- what the heck was I thinking???? I told my mom that we'd go BACK to the fair that night with her... ughh...(I cooked trader joes though- so we did eat healthy that night... eggplant,zucchini and sqaush pasta) This time the fair wasn't so nice- it was crowded as heck and I saw a kid puke off the ferris wheel. I also saw a mother with twin autistic girls (one being pushed in a stroller by her, the other being pushed in a stroller by her 3 year old son!?!?!)- she was all by herself in this horrible crowd and the poor boy was trying to push his sis in a stroller that was taller than he was. What are people thinking, honestly??? I felt so bad for those kids... and that mom- but jeez have some common sense. I also saw a really old man who was wandering around talking to himself wearing a t-shirt that said "Nobody is perfect but me." Hmm.... And then there was the pedophile carnie- my mom, Ryan, Maeve and I were waiting for Alec to ride the ferris wheel so we were standing there for about 10-15 minutes... the carnie was one of those guys that guesses your age or weight... he actually was saying this "Hey little girl- let me guess your age. Do you like older men? Cause I need something to do." He kept saying this in his microphone headset thing to like every girl he saw- we're talking little, little girls. I was completely appalled and as we walked past him to leave I covered Maeve up with her blanket. No pedophile carnie is gonna lay his eyes on my sweet thing. I got a good look at him though because I am pretty sure he's gonna pop up on "Americas Most Wanted" this Saturday night.
FRIDAY!!! TODAY!!! Our good friends are getting married. The rehearsal dinner is tonight and the wedding is tomorrow- so Maeve is gonna be with my parents for a good part of the weekend. I always feel bad leaving her, but I am secretly really excited to get a break.

I will update about the wedding sometime next week... I am getting slower and slower at blogging... could it be because my child doesn't believe in napping anymore? Hmmm... yeah she used to sleep for a good 2 hours now its an hour. So my free time has been drastically cut.


OOOH and I've got a billion new videos to add on here and facebook... so watch for them! :) Peace out :)

I Feel Like Such A Mom!

This is going to sound funny, but from the moment I found out I was preggo, I just couldn't get a grasp on what it was going to be like to be a mom. It was almost like it wasn't happening to me- like an out of body experience or something. All the baby kicks, the ultrasound, it all seemed too good to be true... I kept thinking I was going to have this moment where I felt older, more in control, more "mom-ish," but nope, never happened. OHhhhhhh the hours I spent watching "A Baby Story"- I'd always think "someday I will give birth!" "Someday" came real soon! :)

I did have a successful vaginal birth (with no meds.... well the meds didn't work- I tried to get 'em!) and during the entire labor process I kept thinking "Pinch me! This isn't real!!" When Maeve came out it was the most surreal moment of my life! SUCH a high- she was SO real, but I still couldn't believe she was mine :) During the hospital stay, I was in such a state of discomfort (and overloaded on meds) that I don't even really remember too much- just ordering breakfast every morning over the phone like I was in the Ritz-Carlton! HAHA :) Anyways, nurses, my mom, Ryan, my sisters- everyone was taking care of her and pining over her that I didn't really do much in the first 4 weeks of her life. Then, once I finally healed (I wasn't completely, TOTALLY healed until about March-ish?? And I am still having issues but I'm not gonna get into that) I remember being so excited to do all the things that I had always imagined- dressing her in her little frilly clothes, playing with her in the sunshine, taking her shopping, etc. All I have to say is YEAH RIGHT! I mean, don't get me wrong- I do all of that with her, and then some! But its hardly that idyllic! Which brings me to my post today...

ALL in one day, I got peed on, pooped on, spit on, and head butted. I have never felt more like a mum! :) What a heck of a day. To be fair to my beauty, she is teething so she is a bit of a crab... BUT still- what a day. To start off the day, she was bouncing around in our bed- I had playhouse Disney on (I am desperately trying to get her to love Disney... so far nada) and she was happy as can be, smacking my chest- which she loves to do- so weird! I kept telling her "No. Thats not nice." But she kept at it... so then I decided to ignore her- haha. She head butted me- with ALL her force. Right in the schnoz! It felt like she pushed my nasal bones up into my brain. It was such a hard knock! She came out of it with yet another goose egg on her eyebrow (its not too bad) and I came out of it with a sore nose and a wicked headache. Move on to 2 o'clock or so; her nap, which normally consists of 2-3 hours lasted about 45 minutes or so- so I gathered her up, strapped her in the car seat and DROVE. My mom used to do this and I always thought she was crazy- who would want to just drive??? But by gosh, if it puts the kid to sleep, you'll DRIVE! :) It worked, it put her back to sleep for another hour (she desperately needed a nap- trust me!). We got home (after driving half way to Lansing and back) and she was fussing so I thought I'd give her a bath- she loves them and I felt bad for the teething babe. As SOON as I had undressed her she peed all over me- I think the last time I had been drenched in pee was when she was like 2 days old! :) And then it was like nothing! This stunk like people pee... yuck. Luckily, we were going in the shower, so it wasn't really a big deal (except that she had gotten it on my outfit). Haha... okay this next part is kind of funny- and someday Maeve will be so embarrassed that I wrote this- but we were sitting in the shower, I was reading a book to her- and she was having really bad gassers! Like left and right- she was tooting! I should have known it was coming, but I continued to read and laugh at her little rumbles...flash forward 5 minutes, I had a pile of poop on my lap. Nice visual huh? It was soooooo gross!!! We had to stand up and watch it wash down the drain, while I quickly gathered all of her toys out of the path of the poo poo.

DINNER TIME! My favorite time of the day- its when Ryan, Maeve and I all sit down and eat. We laugh about Maeve's crazy talk and usually have a glass of wine. Its so relaxing and very much needed at the end of the day (dinnertime rituals- not the wine...) anyways tonight I was on my own because Ryan had to work late- I started out feeding her green beans, (which she normally loves) but she was doing the whole head shaking "no" thing. So I switched to sweet potatoes- she was on the last bite when I guess she figured she was done- she spit them ALL over me- in my hair, in my eyes, up my arms- everywhere. Thankfully Ryan came home shortly after that episode and gave me a break. We ended up getting take out, good ol' Mexican food... and during the entire meal, Maeve screamed. She's just not having this whole teething bit.

Well, here I sit, with dried sweet potatoes in my hair, leggings (soooo mom-like), pounding headache and droopy eyes. Oh also- tomorrow we have our first official "play date" with a play group (I'm so excited!). Its the end of the day... thank GOD! I gotta jump in the shower and wash out the days grunge, but today, of all days, I've never felt more like a mom. :)