Diet...day...???

I don't remember what day I'm on with this herbalife thing... maybe day 8? Anyways, it's relatively new, so I'm not SUPER proud of myself to sticking with it- anyone can drink milkshakes for a week... but I have lost a pound.

More importantly, I'm feeling really good. I have more energy- I am never, ever hungry. If you don't like dieting because of the hunger, or lack of satisfying foods, I suggest you try this.

I have never stuffed so much food in my face- ever. Well, no I take that back. I was a pregnant whale with both of my kids... but besides that, I can't remember a time where I've eaten more food (or drank...ya know).

That's what it really is- drinking- drinking your food. But I was telling someone the other day that these shakes aren't like gross smoothie diety type shakes. I make this no bake cookie shake that tastes like its from "Steak and Shake." I mean, really, its THAT good.

The plan is a shake for breakfast (this fills me up until noon, at least- but the rule is you have to have a snack in between- so I literally force feed myself graham crackers or something) By the time lunch rolls around, I'm not starving a bit- just ready for more fuel. This is my favorite shake of the day- its usually the more "calorie" packed one for me (the shakes range from 180-300 cals) and I "splurge"- lunch usually consists of peanut butter and chocolate.... :) YUM.

Around 2 or so, I drink a cup of tea (its supposed to help your metab. who knows- its hot and good, so I drink it.) I usually eat a snack with the kids when they wake up around 3 or so... and then its time for dinner.

I absolutely do not restrict dinner- I eat what my family is eating- if its spaghetti, its spaghetti. If its cheeseburgers, I eat a burger. Because here's the brilliant thing- from keeping yourself full ALL DAY LONG, by the time dinner rolls around, there's no need to be scrambling to fill your stomach. For example, last night we went to Lonestar- I had chicken fingers (shared with maeve) and I ate one chicken finger and a salad. And I was FULL. I felt full, satisfied, great.

So yeah, I am digging this diet.

I will keep you all updated with the actual numbers on the scale... right now I'm still too embarrassed to say the real number... I'll say its 12x- you can guess the variable :)

the truth is heavy...

Literally. It's heavy.

I had my appointment with my nutrition revolution lady today. I've done some major, MAJOR damage to my body in the past (thanks to that fab little ED I used to have). I've been told by every doc under the sun that I've messed up my metabolism- its no surprise. But I kind of got hit hard today.

I was excited to get my shake... and tea and aloe. And even more excited to see how I can lose these last 10 lbs. I got hooked up to the little machine and I noticed the lady eyeballing me.

"Ummm... have you ever had some eating issues?"

"Kind of, why?"

"You have no metabolism."

Yes, I was told at the ripe age of 26, that I have no metabolism- or rather that it was, "shot." In order for me to lose weight, I need to restrict to 900 calories a day. HA! (I TOLD YOU SARAH COLE!!!!)

The GOOD news, is that I am a mere 7 lbs away from my ideal weight. I was shooting for 10 lbs.. (and I still am) but apparently that little machine thinks I only need to lose 7- that's nothing, right? :)


The lady (forgive me, I forgot her name) wrote down all my numbers and then crossed out the calories. She said, "I don't want you to ever, EVER go below 1200 calories- got it?"

I said "yeah" and started to tear up... (rough day around here I guess) Those years of my stupid, STUPID eating habits flashed through my head. It's kind of unbelievable how much damage you can do in such little time. I've been alive for 26 years, was "unhealthy" for 2 of those years and I'm still paying the price for it.

I think why its hitting me hard now, is that I have these two, amazing children, that I want to be healthy and happy for. I want two (maybe 3?:) more children, that I need to be healthy and happy for. I can't afford to do any more damage.

Anyways, she circled my protein numbers- "70-99" and told me to focus on those.

The super nice lady gave me a great meal plan and a nice pep talk. The difference with this meal plan versus any other meal plan any other nutritionist or therapist has tried to put me on, is that its not focused at ALL on my calories. and I LOVE THAT. LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT.


Today is one of those days that my head (or my brain I should say) has been too engaged. I need to turn it off for a bit. Thank God its the kids' nap time... I need a good rest.

happy Saturday.

grasping for straws.... or shots of aloe.

Henry is a mere ONE month (well 5 weeks) away from being ONE YEAR OLD.

I am in disbelief- I could've sworn he was just that turkey baking in my belly...

Anyhow, more sap to come with Henry's turning one- but I figured I'd spare you all and save it for his birthday post. :)

The reason for this post, is because yeah, Henry's a year out but my body doesn't know that yet- I guess. I don't really know how else to explain it.

YES, YES, YES I have lost weight since Henry- good LORD, how could I not??? The kid himself was almost 9 lbs... tack on the fluids, placenta and uterus (I didn't lose the actual organ, it just shrunk back to normal...) I almost instantly lost about 20 lbs.

I came home from the hospital feeling optimistic. I had gained an insane amount of weight during the pregnancy. I mean really, it would sicken Ronald McDonald. The food- the vast amount of food that I ate while preggo with that turkey was out of this world. I think he's just one big giant ball of muscle that requires fuel 24/7... Yes, all pregnant women have their cravings and could probably win any food eating contest, but really- I was out of control with Henry. I remember going into my doc. and having them tell me "Now Ashley, are you limiting your sweets?" And me exclaiming "Pssssh! OF COURSE!" as I'm stuffing my king sized "Reese's Peanut Butter Cups" deeper into my purse, while drooling over dipping them in ice cream later on.... haaaaaaaaaa!

Lets fast forward to present day. I have a stingy 10 lbs that I cannot, for the life of me, get off. I think they're stuck there- like a mommy tattoo or something. (although I was told my lovely STRETCH marks were a mommy tattoo...) Really though- its around my midsection- 10 lbs all crammed in there, giving the appearance that I am always with child. (I AM NOT).

So... with some trips coming up, and of course, Henry's one year birthday, I am getting a tad desperate to get this weight off.

I was given a card for a free shake, tea and shot of aloe at "Nutrition Revolution" - and I thought "WHY NOT?"

I stopped in there yesterday, ordered my shake, got my hot tea and did my shot of aloe. I felt super healthy of course :) UNTIL... the lady and I were talking about what exactly I wanted to accomplish. I said, "I need to lose 10 pounds asap." She laughed and said, "Oh, well ok, next time don't order the peanut butter nut shake. That's our highest calorie shake." Go figure.

I stopped back in today for my afternoon shake (tea & aloe) and there was a class going on. It takes about 5 minutes or so to get the shake made; the kids were out in the car- parked RIGHT in front of the wide open windows- yes people I could see them- and as the lady went to make my shake I couldn't help but listen to this meeting that was taking place, directly to my left.

There were about 6 or 7 women all listening intently to this super skinny old lady. The schpeel was about some cleanse. I opened my ears... I've always been interested in a cleanse. The lady talked about how you can have gunk backed up in you for years (gross). Then she started telling "inspirational stories" (yes, this is what she called them). The first story was that a man came in and told her that he had a very colorful bowel movement. (WTH?) The lady went on about how it was purple, blue, orange, etc. (I mean really, I'm thinking WTH is this place that I'm in right now????) THEN she said that the man went home, had another colorful bowel movement, showed his mother, (yeah, now I'm thinking WTF) and his mom exclaimed, "OH! When you were a kid, you ate a pack of crayons!" THIS IS NO JOKE PEOPLE!

I was sweating bullets- I needed out of that place asap. TOO MUCH INFO- even for me- who likes a lot of info.

I grabbed my shake and tea, vowed never to do a cleanse and hopped back in my car.

I haven't been able to shake the image of a "colorful bowel movement" out of my head.

But since I'm at the point here, where I am grasping for straws... I am kind of willing to keep on with the shake/tea thing. You're supposed to drink two shakes a day, but I don't have that kind of moolah. So I'm doing steel cut oats in the morning, a shake at lunch, tea, midday and a normal dinner. So far, I've gained 3 lbs.

I will continue to update you all... because I'm sure you're all dying to know how much weight I can lose.

happy thurrrrrsday!

my love affair.

This post is dedicated to Angela. :)


Hello. My name is Ashley and I have an addiction to Coldstone Creamery. I mean- I really need an intervention. The only other time in my life I've felt so compelled to eat a certain food is during pregnancy... and nope, I'm not with child.

I might have been able to keep this addiction a secret... but I saw a friend at Coldstone the other day and I think the cat is out of the bag.

I feel the need to let it out: I go to Coldstone EVERY DAY. EVERY.STINKIN.DAY.

It's okay if you want to "moo" at me. I understand. But let me explain...

A few weeks ago I met with Stacia (Schmitt) the lovely lady who just birthed Mr.Caleb. I asked if she wanted to meet at Starbucks (isn't this where you go for "meetings?" :) And in her cute pregnant way, she hinted she needed ice cream. I thought "Okay... you're the preggo, why not?"

I had been to Coldstone before but never really found anything that was just to DIE for, ya know? And in fact, at our meeting, Stacia got the cake batter remix thingy and I just got a coffee. I have to admit that during our entire meeting I was staring at the sprinkles and brownies in her ice cream. I thought to myself "I've got to try that sometime..."

A few days later, I swung by with the kids. I got a kids size of cake batter, sprinkles and brownies (minus the fudge). It was like pure euphoria. I don't have a clue why I am so drawn to this place... or why I have to go there like... ALL THE TIME. And the way it taunts me with their "OPEN 24 HOURS" sign?!?! I mean, this could potentially be disastrous!

My plan of attack, as crazy as it may sound has been this: Coffee in the mornings, a sandwich for lunch and ice cream for dinner. Yes, you read right- ICE CREAM FOR DINNER. I've been opting to have a stupid kids scoop of ice cream over a meal. This is bad...really bad. However, I have not gained a single pound- I am pretty sure its the substitution of ice cream over dinner.

I reached an all time low last night. I had a newborn shoot- right down the street from my house. My mom had made spaghetti and I KNEW I wasn't going to have any- because, well, Coldstone was calling my name. I told them to go on and eat without me (and after a lot of arguing, they agreed they'd just eat). The newborn shoot lasted maybe a hour or so? After the shoot, I got in my jeep and tried to turn my car right (the direction of home). It turned left (the direction of Coldstone). I KID YOU NOT- the entire way to Coldstone, there was a battle in my brain - "GO HOME- eat spaghetti!"...."GET TO COLDSTONE ASAP!" -yes, quite the battle :)

I ended up at Coldstone. I was the ONLY one in the parking lot, which made me feel even more of a lonely heffer. I walked in, (silently said a prayer that it wasn't the same little guy that has waited on me time and time again- it wasn't) ordered my heaven on earth, walked out to my car, turned on Jack Johnson and SCARFED IT DOWN. Picture this people- ME, sitting alone in the parking lot, practically inhaling bite after bite of this ice cream creation.

After it was gone, I looked at the empty cup and spoon. I felt ashamed :) haha! My immediate thought was "I need to get rid of this! My mom and Ryan will know I came here again!" (Like its a drug or something... which to me, it practically is). I threw the cup and spoon into the trash (this, requiring me to get out of my car) and who pops up behind me? The little guy that waits on me nearly every day. He said "Are you coming or going?" I replied, "Ummm going. haha." He said "Oh well I'll see you tomorrow!" With which I replied "Yeah you probably will, haha!"

I need a Coldstone intervention. It's all I think about- I purposefully eat hardly anything (besides a turkey sandwich) during the day- JUST SO I CAN EAT A KIDDIE CUP OF ICE CREAM AT NIGHT.

Last night, Ryan and I were lying in bed, talking about Ryan's first day at his big, new job (more on that, in a separate post later:)... he was in the middle of saying something and I just blurted out "I WENT TO COLDSTONE AND SAT IN MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT EATING ICE CREAM. THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T COME HOME FOR DINNER!" I kid you not- we sat there laughing for probably 20 minutes.

ohhhhhh myyyyyy... anyways, this is probably the dumbest post in the history of blogworld. But since this blog is to update what's going on "these days", it would be an abomination to leave out my serious affliction with Coldstone Creamery and their addictive cake batter ice cream.

*THE END!*

(hope you enjoyed that ang :)

my walks... my weight...my woes.

Hmm... I can't quite remember when I decided I needed to get my large self up and moving... but I'm thinking it was about 6-8 weeks ago? Something like that...

Anywho, my fatness had reached a point that it was just plain gross. My sweat pants were getting tight on me (again!) but this time I didn't have a baby belly to blame it on. It was time to clean up my eating & start moving.

I started out with small changes- making sure I eat oatmeal EVERY single morning for breakfast (which can be a huge pain on those mornings that pushing the coffee button is a lot of work) but I've noticed if I eat a hearty bowl of oatmeal in the morning, I'm good for the rest of the day- meaning, I don't feel the need to gorge or stuff myself on anything.

It's funny- I also said I was cutting out alcohol. And I guess I *kind* of have?!?! But at the same time, if its a special occasion, I'll drink. Yeah- can't deny that one! But I used to regularly have a glass of wine or a beer at night (with dinner/after dinner) and that's been cut out.

On top of the teeny tiny diet changes I've made, I also decided I needed to walk. I am not a runner. I've never been a runner- never will be a runner- and that's fine. I am totally good with walking. I had a "sit down" with Ryan and told him that I love our family walks at night but I needed to get out by myself. He agreed...

I've been walking alone (sometimes for just 20 minutes- sometimes for an hour... it depends on my mood) for a few weeks now. Every night I get out there, (with my trusty ipod of course) I think to myself "summer is almost over- what am I going to do without these nightly walks???"

My walks are so much more than a means for weight loss. If you were to catch me mid-walk, don't be shocked to see tears... or sometimes a beaming smile. My walks are my time. MY catch up time. I tend to reflect on the day- over analyze every conversation I had, things I said to my kids, to Ryan, etc. There are always things I wish I would've said or done differently. On that same note, usually after the tear fest, I have a huge smile- beaming from ear to ear- (sometimes because of a great song that just came on) but mostly because the sun is setting and I'm headed home, to my little house, with my two babies that are asleep and a husband who's waiting to hold me.

Life is really good. Even if its not what I want at the moment. In the grand scheme of things- its good.

Here are two quotes I've put on replay in my brain:

“Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.”- Robert C. Gallagher

“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” -Arnold Bennett

And to end this post...
If you're curious about my weight in NUMBERS... I've lost close to 18 lbs. I weigh somewhere in the 120's. Whether that's 129 or 120 shall remain a mystery :) HA (I'm sure you can guess which end of the scale I'm at :) I'm crediting the actual loss in poundage to the walking, stress, sushi and coffee :)
"Before" (8 weeks pp)


"After" (HAHA- what, like 8 MONTHS PP???)

I myself, wanted to see a before/after... even though I still have a good 10 lbs to go before I'll call it good. And when you look at the pics side by side... ummm I'm still flabby... but, things are falling into place... ahhhh sigh....

8 Weeks Post Partum...

Tomorrow marks EIGHT weeks of Henry's life here on earth. WOW! I have yet to schedule his 2 month appointment... oops. I'm assuming we'll get in sometime this week- I'm anxious to find out why he is fussy 24/7.

On another note- I posted a post partum pic of when I was 2 weeks post partum. Sitting here, quite pudgy and soft, not much has changed. I'm bummed. I have been dieting and nursing for 2 months now- yes, yes I've lost over 40 lbs- but remember about 30 of that was PURE FLUIDS! So really, I've only lost 10 solid pounds. And to get to my goal weight of 120 I still have 15 lbs to go. :( poo. Here's a pic of me this morning. Ignore my triple Z's in the pic.

In one word, YUCK. But here's the thing- in order to maintain my milk supply my midwife told me not to cut calories... okaaaaaayyy- that makes it a little hard to diet! Working out is the next best logical step, but with a newborn who likes to nurse at random times all day long, its hard to get out and do it. Unfortunately we don't live in a climate where I can put the kids in the double stroller and take a walk. For me to exercise I have to pack the kids up, drive to the Y, check them into the jankity daycare and PRAY my name isn't paged to come claim a child down in the nursery. Nope- the Y isn't going to happen. So now I'm thinking of exercise videos. I've heard of some good ones, so I'm willing to try them. Even with THAT I am not sure where the time to do a video will come from- my kids hardly ever nap at the same time and when they do I can pretty much guarantee you the first thought in my mind won't be "GOTTA EXERCISE!" It will probably be more along the lines of "GOTTA LAY DOWN!" sighhhhhh.... I need these extra 15 lbs off bad... what to do, what to do? Talking with my midwife, she said give it a year to get back to normal- focus on nursing, maintaining my supply and life with two kids. So is it selfish for me to want to get these 15 pounds off??? I wish I didn't care so much about the stupid scale- but my GOSH I am sick of my jeans cutting off blood supply to my legs. And I REFUSE to go out and buy size 7 jeans (yes that's what size I am in at the moment). I feel like if I give in and buy the size 7's I will always be in that size. Make sense?
Well, if any of you have some fabulous ideas on how I can get these pesky 15 lbs off, let me know! I am ALL ears! :)

just some pictures.

Random pics... too tired to really blog.






2 weeks post partum... LONG way to go. But I wanted to document where I was starting from.



ooooh and forgot to add- for memories sake :) I took a bath with both kids this morning (nothing like multitasking!). While in the bath, I fed Henry and Maeve started freaking out- now, every time I breastfeed him she steers clear away from us. I always thought it was because I was giving Henry attention but it turns out she was really frightened by the whole breastfeeding process. Here's our conversation:

Me: "What's wrong?"

Maeve: "No. No. No."

Me: "Maeve, what's wrong?"

Maeve: "Baby's eatin' you!!" Baby's eatin' you!"

Me: HAHAHAHAHA "No... baby's not eating me- baby's drinking milk."


The poor thing thought Henry was eating ME... talk about traumatizing!

A little Loss & a LOT of Gain!

a lot of gain...I took Mr. Henry to the docs morning for his 1 week check up- GET THIS: Okay, his birth weight was 8 lbs. 7 oz. When we left the hossy it was 8 lbs. 1 oz. At the doc last Wed. his weight was 8 lbs. 2 oz. Guess what it was today????? 8 lbs. 15 oz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God bless that booby milk!! I knew he was gaining and doing great because of the sheer amount of diapers we have been changing. INSANO!!! He probably poops 8 times a day and pees 10-12? It's pretty nuts! Dr. Williams also checked out his eyes (they're still yucky yellow from the jaundice and he's also been getting a bunch of goo coating his eyes). She said the goo is from blocked tear ducts and it should clear up within a YEAR!?!?! Poor bubs. But I guess its a good thing its not an infection... I was so sure it was some gnarly infection growing in his eyeballs. The yellowing of his eyes should be gone within the week- supposedly the eyes are the last to clear up. But other than that he doesn't need to be seen until he's 2 months old because he's above and beyond his birth weight. AWESOME news- since I really wanted to avoid hauling him in and out of the germ infested office. So yes, our little (well BIG) man is doing great. And what a boost of confidence for me- breast feeding went so horribly wrong with Maeve but its pretty evident that its working its wonders on Henry!

a little loss....Breast feeding is also helping me shed the baby weight. On average I lose 1-2 lbs. per day. I still look like I'm 5 months pregnant (grossssssssss) but it's encouraging to know that the weight is coming off. I am guessing breastfeeding will take care of another 5-10 lbs. And then I'll have about 20 lbs. to lose via working out and dieting.

This Friday night my parents are watching the kids (ahhh! Did I just say KIDS???) while Ryan and I finish up some Christmas shopping. I think we're also making a trip by Olive Garden- I've been craving some pasta & wine. It should be fun and I am sooooo ready to get out of this house- and not be headed to the hospital or the doctors.

Encouragement From an Unlikely Source.

After chowing down on fiesta lime chicken at Applebees, I ran into Walmart to grab a magazine that I could read in the bath tonight. Of course the issue with Kendra Wilkinson, very pregnant, caught my eye; Especially when the cover said that she revealed how much pregnancy weight she's gained. I am not a fan of Kendra's or any of "The Girls Next Door." I actually find the show to be pretty disgusting (sorry to anyone who's a big fan of the show or the girls!). But anything pregnancy related at this point is of great interest to me.

I can't tell you how discouraged I've felt during this pregnancy. I feel like SUCH a complainer talking about it and blogging about it over and over again... but really, this is what is going through my brain now a days. My weight, my stretch marks, my cracked and bleeding belly, my horrible acne (thank you pregnancy hormones)... and well, I could go on for awhile, but I'm sure you get the picture. I keep telling myself this will be over and I'll have my old body back (like it was so great to begin with! :) But to tell you the truth, I am petrified that this weight is going to stick around and my stretch marks won't fade like they did last time and I'm going to end up just giving in-, wearing sweatpants and sporting a greasy pony tail. And in the grand scheme of things I KNOW, I KNOW I KNOW, that none of this is very important, but I'm sure all of you ladies can relate to just wanting to FEEL good in your skin. I'm not asking to weigh 105 lbs. again (BTW that was pre- MAEVE- NOT pre-turkey boy!) I'm willing to compromise -a healthy weight that I FEEL good about is all I'm asking for.

Okay, with all that said, I read the article all about Kendra's pregnancy and felt instantly inspired. First off, she has gained EXACTLY how much weight I've gained (well I've gained 5 lbs. more BUT I am also 2 months ahead of her). The bulk of the article was about her feeling beautiful- it also talked about her plans to lose the baby weight after the birth. I was so inspired! WOW- I am not the only pregnant woman that puts on more than the allotted 25 lbs! After I got out of the bath I told Ryan all about her (I started the conversation out with "Hey ya know 'The Girls Next Door?'" With which he replied "What girls next door, where?"). Like I said, I've never been a fan of hers and I'm still not... but just hearing that someone is in the same boat as me (as far as the weight gain goes) has done wonders for my self esteem. For the first time in months I don't feel like a complete heffer! :) I just MIGHT lose all this weight- sure I'll have the preggo gut and the saggy boobs but I am pretty confident that I WILL feel normal again and WILL feel good in my skin. After I give birth to this beast (beast is said in the most lovingly way! I just really feel like this boy is MAMMOTH!) I think I might start a regular post partum check-up post. Meaning, once a week or so a check in- on my weight, my body, my mind, emotions, etc.

Sorry if this was just a bunch of rambling... its late- I have a headache but I really wanted to share my excitement in finding someone that I can relate to (as far as pregnancy goes) :)

Oh- and here's the article

29 week appt.

I'm not going to go into numbers anymore with my weight because its insane- out of control and embarrassing. Apparently my body is just packing on the pounds- even when I feel like I am eating a whole lot less. I've cut out fried foods, sweets, pop, etc. Sticking to home cooked meals, bagels for breakfast & usually a bowl of cereal for lunch. HOW THE HECK am I gaining massive amounts of weight???? NO CLUE. The worst part is my doc. is not even the least bit concerned- he has told me twice now that I shouldn't worry about it- easy for him to say since he isn't the one who's gained xx lbs. UGH you have no clue how awful it is to step on the scale and see it jump up by leaps and bounds.

I also had my glucose test today- haha before I left for it I was saying how the orange drink was pretty good tasting. For some reason today, it was awful. It made me sick to my stomach and I felt super shaky afterward- I'm hoping that's not a bad sign- like my sugars are bad or something... although- that could explain the crazy weight.

As far as my regular appointment went- good & bad news- the good? I am measuring almost a full 2 weeks ahead (PRAISE THE LORD- that would put me at delivering in mid november rather than late november.) but the bad news is they STILL won't change my due date- wth??? I've consistently measured ahead but this time he was measuring WAY ahead- my docs explanation? The turkey hit a growth spurt... hmm... apparently we'll check his growth next time and then my doc will make the decision to change my due date or not- PLEASE CROSS YOUR FINGERS FOR ME!!!

Another not so great thing is that the baby is transverse- meaning he's got his feet wedged up on one side of my belly and his head/hands wedged up on the other side. He better flip HEAD down! I DO NOT want a C-section!!! AHHH! Again, my doc said I have a few weeks until we need to really start to be concerned with his position... in the meantime I will be googling how to flip your baby head down :)

That about sums up my appt. I will update as soon as I get my sugar results back... :)

HORRIBLE Appointment.

I'm not going to go much into details but I saw the actual doctor today- not the midwives. Normally my appts. with midwives are nice and pleasant, filled with lots of talking. Today, I actually heard my doctor arguing (like MAJOR arguing) with a nurse before he came into my room- it was SO awkward. He came in and before I could even say "how are you?" he had me up on the table measuring me. I had a few important questions I wanted to ask him because like I said, I only see the actual doctor once or twice throughout the pregnancy and this was one of those "special" days. I was literally talking a mile a minute trying to get out all my questions as he's squeezing my stomach, measuring and taking the heartbeat. I was not pleased. He looked at my weight gain (which is a major concern of mine) and said it looks okay- not to get worried about it at this point "just keep an eye on it." Yikes. He added up how much weight I've gained so far- and at 26 weeks, I have gained a whopping 30 lbs. HOLY CRAP. That means in the past month I put on about 8 lbs! I knew it was bad- but not this bad...

After a quick "you're doing great kiddo" he was out of the room. And I was left, with not many answers and even more questions... I HATE those kinds of appointments.

not much to say....

I have kind of put off blogging this week because nothing has been going on... just a lot of parks, playing, cleaning, eating, eating and more eating. I have also been putting off blogging because I am positive no one wants to hear me gripe about my weight gain... but because its my blog and that's about all that is on the up and up lately I'm going to gripe.

I have gained SO MUCH WEIGHT it is truly scary. I won't allow pictures to be taken of my face because its ballooned- and my once skinny legs have thickened right up. Even at the very end of my pregnancy with Maeve I could still be semi- proud of my legs- they didn't ever get too big. This time though, I am truly feeling obese. I just want this to be DONE. I can't imagine gaining one more pound but I know inevitably I will- and it won't just be one pound it will be many before November comes. I feel like one of those rolly poly bugs- I have to roll & slither my way out of bed every 10 minutes to pee and in between the bathroom breaks my hips are going numb from the sheer weight that I'm putting on them when I lay on my side. Even my maternity clothes are tight on me- granted they're all xs because last pregnancy I was still fairly small. All of this would be fine and dandy if I were like 36 weeks or something- but I'm not- I am 26 weeks. I really and truthfully can't imagine going 2 and a half more months at this weight gaining pace.

Tomorrow morning is my 26 week appt. I get the paper work for my glucose test and all the other normal check up stuff. I am just waiting for that horrible conversation about excessive weight gain... how embarrassing. I am also going to make Dr. P confirm that I am measuring only at 26 weeks and not more because I swear, I am HUGE. What a surprise and treat it would be if I was really lets say, 30 weeks! HAHA :) one can dream...

I will update tomorrow with all the gory details of my appt. Including that wretched number on the scale... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

HOLY WEIGHT GAIN.

AHHH! Today was my 22 week appointment- I wasn't too nervous for it because I've been feeling pretty good. LOTS of baby movement, a few braxton hicks here and there, all the normal stuff. The one thing I was dreading though was stepping on the scale. I knew I've been eating crazy but wow- I wasn't prepared for this. I gained SEVEN pounds in this past month! OMG. How sick is that??? And to put it into perspective for you, I am 5 lbs. away from the weight that I was when I went into the hospital to deliver Maeve. WOW. So my whole goal of gaining either less or the same amount of weight I did with Maeve has completely blown out the window. I will be lucky to get to November weighing under 160 lbs. And I'm not exaggerating. What a nightmare! I can't believe how out of control my eating has been... but tell me preggos- how the HECK do you control your eating and your weight when you're pregnant?????? I control my weight great when I'm not but my stomach is seriously a bottomless pit right now. My doc hasn't said anything yet about the weight gain- but it can only be a matter of time... I mean, I am only 5"2-ish so realistically I should only gain about 30 lbs. That would leave me 10 more lbs. to gain from here on out- NOT gonna happen. In fact... on the way home from my appointment we went to Target and shared a popcorn and a sprite with Maeve. I can't stop!!!!! If you're not too shy about it, how much weight did you gain with your pregnancies???

OH- we also got the "official" results from our u/s which was a few weeks ago. The baby and placenta are fine- thank goodness- at first they were thinking it was low, but its not- so yea for that :) But my placenta is anterior- meaning its right on top of my belly button area. SAD! This means that movement won't be very noticeable- the doc said it could be awhile before Ryan can even feel the movement because the placenta acts like a giant cushion :( How disappointing... that was my very favorite part of my pregnancy with Maeve- lying in bed at night and having Ryan feel the baby move. Oh well- as long as everything is healthy that's all we can ask for. :)

Dog Days.

Ohhhhhh my goodness. I think instead of nicknaming this baby the "turkey" it should be named the "hot dog." I have developed this insane, over the top craving for hot dogs. Which means, weekly (sometimes bi/tri-weekly) trips to the "DOG HOUSE." Maeve knows it so well now, that she starts woofing like a dog when we pull up... omg. I'm still only at 1 hot dog per trip (although I told Ryan this could be increasing soon) but the problem is, I also eat fries & rice pudding. It really is a horribly fattening meal that I can only get away with eating while I'm preggo. The thing is, apparently hot dogs aren't the best thing to eat while pregnant- nitrates or something or other is in them which isn't great for the baby. That is the ONLY reason that I am limiting my intake of the dogs to once or twice (sometimes three) times a week. I am assuming my hot dog, french fry and pudding consumption is also the reason why my maternity capris are starting to tighten around my tummy. I could also account the 4 lbs. I've gained in the past month to my dog diet. Anyways, I thought I'd document this intense craving. exciting stuff around here, eh? :)

Slacker!!

Yup, my hand's raised... oops- totally been slacking on the blog. For good reason though! It has been busy and sickly around here! And unfortunately this post is gonna be a bit short... but I just wanted to update and let you all know that we are still here!

Ryan- sick all last week with a cold/flu? It was horrible not having my other half to help me out with Maeve! Especially since Maeve was sick herself. Fortunately Ryan and Maeve are feeling much better! Ryan still has a cough that wakes the entire house up every night... but fevers, yucky nose and sore throats are (hopefully!!!!!!!!!) a thing of the past!

Maeve- like I said, was sick all last week. Super sad to see her down and out :( She was running a high fever for 3 days and had a runny nose. I took her into the doctor and they ran a battery of tests (strep culture, influenza test!) and everything came back fine. SO it was viral- a cold- but nonetheless it made for a cranky and sick bubba cakes.

ME- woooooh! Between taking care of Ryan & Maeve last week I'm exhausted myself... this Saturday is my last gymnastics meet- I am kinda sad... the cash flow (or MY cash flow) will be abruptly stopping after Saturday.

Spring break is coming up sooooon! And I couldn't be more excited- seriuosly- I go to bed GRINNING at night with thoughts of the ocean, SUNSHINE, Universal & good FOOD swirling and twirling around in my head! Just tonight Ryan came home with our confirmed rental car paper work & UNIVERSAL tickets (from AAA). SO we are SET to go- we just need to get to April 15th!!! :)

OTHER good news- I went to the doctor this morning for some blood work (they're checking my thyroid & iron levels) and I got weighed- drumroll...................................I WEIGH 119!!!! That is 4 lbs. away from my goal weight!!!! :) I think I've said it before, but the scale has been out of the house for a couple of months now so I had NO CLUE where my weight was number wise. I knew my clothes were fitting much better and lots of people were asking if I had lost weight :):):) but I was so excited to have a NUMBER. And now I am motivated as ever to lose these extra 4-5 lbs. and not only be at my goal weight, but also at my pre-preggo weight!

Spongebob fever is still raging around here- Maeve is ADDICTED! We watch spongebob allllll day long! And she stomps around the house saying "PUN BOP PUN BOP!" Its super cute and I guess there could be a worse cartoon for her to be in love with... but I was really thinking her first "obsession" would be a Disney princess of some sort... hmmm.. guess not. But its kinda cool because we're going to Universal Studios on spring break and they have an entire spongebob section in the park so she will LOVE that!!! I'm hoping we can meet the life size spongebob character and get a pic with him :)

Maeve also is in love with her nuks. BLAH- its kind of annoying me because she's not talking as much now that she's got a stinkin nuk in her mouth. But I try and pluck it out a few times a day to get her talking... she is ALL about animals- and can say most animal noises... meow, moo, "blah"-her frog noise? :), sssssssss (snake), a high pitched noise which is for dolphins... woof... lets see what else? OH she loves trains- we live right by some railroad tracks and sometimes on lucky days we get to see a train go by she goes "CHOO CHOO!!!" and gets soooooooo excited! :) She is also more in love with the dogs than ever- constantly chasing them, pulling their tails, laying on them, hugging them, etc. I keep telling Ryan she needs a sibling- because at the moment she totally thinks the dogs are her playmates :)

WELL sorry this was so choppy, random and short... but it's the end of the day and I'm exhausted!

~Continue to keep Haleigh Cummings in your thoughts and prayers! I know things aren't looking too great for a safe return, but you never know!!! I am glued to Nancy Grace every night in hopes that there will be a break in the case... crazy.

Back To IT!

Or back to the "Y" I should say :) I managed to get my booty out of bed this morning along with Maeve's, pick up my mom and head to the Y for a pretty good workout. I didn't make it to body pump which was a bit disappointing- but I did do FORTY minutes of cardio today (movin' on up!) and twenty minutes of leg/ab work. I'm going to try suuuuuper hard to make it to Pilates tomorrow morning- but I'm not making any promises. Honestly, I will be happy with myself if I can get in 3 (at least) 30 minute sessions of cardio in... that really is my main goal here. And yeah, last week I totally boycotted the Y- BUT I had the stomach flu... so good reason I guess.

Today, Maeve's number in the nursery was "6" and as always, every time an announcment would come over the loud speakers, I'd strain to hear what they were saying (IT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND!!! It sounds like "wah wah wah wah"), anyways today I could've SWORN the announcement said, "Number 6 please come to child watch." Shoooooot! I was walking with my mom on the track and she volunteered to go check on the situation. Thank goodness, it turns out it WASN'T maeve at all :) YEA! I can still go to the Y and have the babe be haaaapy:) But they did make a mention to me at the end that she had been growling at all the other kids. Whoops! guess we've been working on those dinosaur noises a bit too much... :) Other than that though, she seems to really enjoy it there and the Y workers say she's great. What a relief!

Tonight I judge at Western (YEA! Close to home...) and its one of those nights where I have NOTHING planned for dinner. I have plenty of things in mind for dinner, but that would require me going out to the store... and Maeve is already asleep for her afternoon nap- so the whole store thing isn't going to happen. Ryan mentioned pizza... but I KNOW if we go for pizza I will eat like a horse and undo the whole workout I sweated through this morning.

Well..... this is my last full week before FLORIDA!!!!! :) I am thrilled to get out of here! Gonna miss Ryan but it will do a world of good for both Maeve and I to be in warmth and sunshine.

I Fell Off The Bandwagon :(

BLAH- I toooooootally fell off the dieting/working out bandwagon today. I am SO disappointed in myself. And I am not talking like I ate a brownie- and didn't do a full 30 minutes of cardio- its more like I didn't even GO to the "Y", ate Daryl's bread for lunch DIPPED in ranch dressing and for dinner I had 6 chicken mcnuggets and half a thing of fries. I feel like absolute crap. The whole weight loss thing hasn't really been working that great anyways- I mean, I've been working out like mad and watching like a hawk what I eat, but like I've mentioned before, the actual pounds aren't really coming off... SUPER discouraging. Anyways, I can't let this one day get me down- I CAN'T. I will be at the "Y" bright and early tomorrow and back on the coffee/cliff bar diet.

A Hand In Time...

I FINALLY got around to picking up Maeve's plate today and it turned out great- in that wonderfully homemade way :) The hand print is smudged, my writing looks like a 2 year olds and the dots aren't very evenly spaced, BUT it was made by my love and I and I will ALWAYS remember that snowy day in the pottery place. So I showed it to Ryan and he loved it, and we decided to make it a tradition that on every birthday, our children will make a plate (I'll take them like a week before their birthday so the actual plate will be DONE by their birthday) that they can eat on for their special birthday dinner. And each Christmas we'll make a platter with all the kiddos hand prints on it, the date and their names. And on Christmas, we'll be able to serve dinner on our collection of platters. Cool huh? Now all we need are KIDDO-SSSSS. That's kiddos, plural- if you didn't get it :) But all in good time, all in good time.

Also, again nothing to do with the plate, but I went to Body Pump again this morning and BIT it so bad on the ice- I feel like an old woman. Yeah, my body is sore from working out, but this is the 2nd time this week I've fallen- HARD. The first time, I was knocked over by 2 dogs- yeeeah... nice. That mainly hurt my hands and chest- I feel face first- but caught myself with my hands and boobs. Today, I biffed on the ice in my parents driveway and my feet flew up in the air and I landed really, REALLY hard on my back. I am so achy- I had to take tylenol when I finally got home- (yes I went to body pump AFTER I had fallen- I'm so tough I should be beef jerky or something) hahahaha. Anyways I'm sore, from my workouts and from my lack of coordination... I used to be so coordinated... dang its crazy what having a baby will do to your body!!! :)

Well I am going to post again tonight- because I am trying out the deceptive "Aloha Kabobs." I stink at making chicken- it always turns out dry and chewy... so we'll see how it goes.

Productivity........ Stars For ME!

SUCH a good thing! It is 2:18 P.M. as I am starting to write this post... Maeve has been sleeping since one- and let me list out the things I have accomplished today... (yeah its a bit of bragging but just go with me here)

-Got Maeve out the door by 8:30 (a challenge on its own... again, those of you with multiple kids, don't know how you do it!)

-Got Maeve checked into "daycare" at the "Y" by 8:50-ish or so...

-walked 2.5 miles around the track by 9:30

-took a Pilates class from 9:40-10:40 (and BTW that mermaid/swimming junk is HARD- but I'm gonna def. keep up with it! I can already feel my core tightening!!!)

-occupied Maeve with one hand while pureeing ALL my veggies/fruits needed for this weeks "deceptive" dinners
(on the menu- beet pancakes w/ flax seed **AKA "Pink Pancakes"**, "Aloha Kabobs" (pineapple & sweet potato purees are used in this one- its basically chicken fingers rolled around in pineapple, sweet potato and egg whites then "fried" in bread crumbs), Mac & Cheese- that's tonight (Squash puree) and I made a tray of brownies with that iron packed spinach and carrots!)

-actually whipped up the mac & cheese (its ALL done, saran-wrapped in the fridge, ready to go- I swear, there is nothing better than that feeling of dinner being done and accounted for so early in the day :)

-matched a GIANT basket of socks together... I had been putting that off for weeks- they were Maeve's socks and they're sooooo tiny it takes about 20 hours to do... (actually it took about 30 minutes :)

Anyways what did I tell ya, PRODUCTIVITY, huh? Ryan will be so proud :) The one downfall to all of this is the kitchen looks like a hurricane hit it. But I'm afraid if I am banging around in there while Maeve is napping, she'll wake up... SO that will have to be taken care of later. Oh, and there was a tiny mishap with the pureeing of the spinach- the top flew off of the blender and we now have spinach on the ceiling and cabinets... blah. I'm sure I'll get around to scrubbing that off in a few months :)


*** Something else I wanted to share with you all that has nothing to do with my awesomeness (HA I am JUST KIDDING) is that I have been taking MaeMae to the "Y" with me now for a few weeks- AND putting her in daycare- its not that I am anti-daycare or anything, but all of you know me well for the most part and know I am a CONTROL FREEEAK! Meaning, I want to know what my kid is doing at all times, what she's eating, who she's around, etc. So the thought of relinquishing all control to two total strangers was to say the least, VERY difficult. But it turns out that it has been an amazing thing- for both Maeve AND I. Maeve loooooves her hour at the "Y"- she climbs through their Jungle Gym, watches movies and socializes with the other kiddos. And I of course, relish my "adult" time, either walking on the track listening to Bob Marley or taking a class of some sort. The thing that gets me, is that we go to church on a weekly basis, and on a weekly basis- like clockwork, we are called to the nursery to pick up our screaming child. But not ONCE- not one single moment in the handful of times that Maeve's gone to the "Y" nursery have I been called out or has she screamed/cried. It is sooooooo strange. In fact, every time I pick her up, I enter the room with this wince on my face and meekly ask "How did she do?" TOTALLY expecting to hear that she was crying/screaming/hitting/stealing toys, etc. but each and every time the lady tells me she was great! And that she has a definite love for babies :) It is really the sweetest thing- the "Y" has about 3-4 (depending on the day) infants/newborns all lined up in their carriers either sleeping or cooing, and Maeve will go to each baby and lean down, put her head on the baby's feet/legs and say "Awwwwwww BABY." It is, to say the least, downright adorable. And yes, gives me baby fever that much more. I came home today in fact and told Ryan about Maeve's love for babies- not baby DOLLS, but REAL live babies! We both agreed Maeve needs a sibling :) When that will be? Only time will tell... but stay tuned!

And for any of you mommas out there interested in getting yo-self in shape, the "Y" is running a special right now if you go in with a buddy- I'm not exactly sure what that special is, but I remember hearing about it on the radio and thinking "Wow, that's a really good deal!" And like I said, the nursery is great! So no excuses!!!! :)

Burn, Baby, Burn!!!!

I am doing SO good you guys- sticking to my exercise regime! My entire body is aching and sore but it feels awesome!!! I have been going to "Body Pump" and tomorrow I am trying out a "Pilates" class. I try and get in 4 cardio sessions per week (30 minutes of speed walking... I am SUCH a dork- totally that lady who is carrying 1 lb. weights and walking like a maniac around the track) and then EVERY time I go to the gym I do ab stuff. 2-3 times a week I do leg and arm stuff. I have the body type that if I lift too much I will bulk up- so cardio is my best fat buster.

The most fabulous news of all???? Maeve LOVES the "daycare" facility at the "Y." I can no longer use the excuse that Maeve needs a sitter. In fact, if anything, I would go to the "Y" just to let her socialize and play with other kiddos for an hour. What an awesome thing!!!! :)

At the moment, I haven't lost a ton of poundage or anything... 6 weeks ago when I started this whole thing my goal was to lose 20 lbs. So far, I've lost 12. So about 2 lbs. a week... But I physically feel great-

Here's a downfall though- the the other night at the Westin I brought a bathing suit that I wore at the beginning of my pregnancy- (back when I weighed like 115 or so) and honestly? I should have been arrested for indecent exposure. My boobs are just way too big to fit in that suit and my belly is still very rounded and my thighs are big and gross. A little discouraging after all that hard work. But I am going to continue to stick to it- and really, maybe by April I will be able to wear a bikni or something close to it...

Something else that stinks big time is the food comitment that goes along with the workout stuff. You can't do one thing- like workout without dieting and vice versa. So its been quite the challange to find and cook healthy meals that Ryan likes- I would eat salad or rotissere chicken every night- but Ryan likes his yuuuuuuck red meat. However, he's been really supportive and has eaten everything I've cooked- even that cauliflower mac & cheese :) Tonight its the "1905 Salad", a famous recipe from "The Columbia" resturaunt down in St. Augustine, FL. It is AWESOME to say the least and very filling because of the swiss cheese. We also cook spanish rice with it, so its fairly healthy... anyways we're trying here!!! :)

BURN FAT BURN!